Holiday drinking games

It’s the holidays! You know, that time of year where we get together with loved ones and drive each other to drink. If you’re looking to make your seasonal imbibing a little more interesting, try these on for size…

It’s the holidays! You know, that time of year where we get together with loved ones and drive each other to drink. If you’re looking to make your seasonal imbibing a little more interesting, try these on for size…

Pin the Tail On the Savior

Land on the Child: Everyone else drink 1
Land on one of the Magi: Drink 1
Land on the Innkeeper: Drink 2
Land on Marvin Gardens: Drink everyone else’s drink

Spell Myrrh

Too many Y’s: Drink 1
Too man H’s: Drink 2
Not enough R’s: Drink 1
Spell it correctly: Drink myrrh

Are the Cattle Lowing?

Cattle are lowing: Drink 1
Cattle are not lowing: Drink 2
Cattle are high fiving: Drink less
Baby awakes: Drink more

Look Out, Good King Wenceslas! (known in some areas as Feast on Stephen)

Poor man comes in sight gathering winter fuel: Drink 1
Fuel has more than one syllable: Drink 2
Good King Wenceslas invades Rohan: Everyone drink 2
Good King Wenceslas invades Stephen: Stephen drinks 2

Whose Child Is This?

Child is unclaimed: Drink 1
Child is yours: Drink until it hates you
Child is left behind: Drink 1
Child is ornery: Child drinks 1
Child is enticing: Everyone drink 2 or 3
Child has gumption: Child drinks 2

Don’t Stir the Mouse

Stir the mouse: Drink 1
Don’t stir the mouse: Everyone else drink 1
Stir Mama’s kerchief: Mama drinks 1
Mouse is about to stir but doesn’t really; might have been a twitch: Drink while arguing about whether mice can dream

Census Time!

Total Household Income over $80,000: Drink 1
Religion listed as Theistic Jedi: Everyone drink 1
Occupation listed as Horny Housewife: Drink while nodding in silent approval

Oggle Your Cousin’s Wife

She catches you: Drink 1
She doesn’t catch you: Keep on ogglin’ while pretending to drink
Your cousin catches you: Offer him a drink
Your wife catches you: She drinks 2
Your aunt catches you: Wink 1

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Christopher Elford

Christopher Elford is a Canadian-born waiter, writer, and comedian who enjoys playing a game called “Drink When You’re Unhappy.” He lives in Richmond, Virginia with his two cats and would love to do stand-up at your next garden or office party.

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