Fake Richmonder makes a Restaurant Week reservation
Some decisions are almost too tough.
It was between these menus, and it was a tough call.
— ∮∮∮ —
Floyd Café
Appetizer
Choose one
- Arugula salad — With dried cranberries, goat cheese, and pine needles
- Steamed mussels — In a white wine and tonic sauce
- Crab cakes — Lightly fried and gluten-full
Entree
Choose one
- Pork belly sandwich — Meatily sandwiched between two fists of bread
- Grilled salmon — Served with bitter greens and bitterer herbs
- Duck confit — Just in a bowl
Dessert
- Key lime pie
— ∮∮∮ —
Heirloom Kitchen
Appetizer
Choose one
- Arugula, butternut squash, and coriander salad-soup — A hybrid concoction scattered with roasted corn and flecked with madness
- Mussels Heirloom — Southern-style with pickled Duke’s and mollified cornichon
- Crab layer cake — Blue crab layered with pimento cheese and dolloped with Old Bay frosting
Entree
Choose one
- She-pork stew — Mama pig braised on the bone with blackcurrant jam, tenderized with Hi-C, and simmered in a grass-fed broth
- Wild salmon gravy with matzoh biscuits — Biscuits made locally by Unlevity RVA, deluged with a gravy thickened responsibly by chickpea flour
- Duck confit ravioli with brown butter and baby roses — Served over a marinara pancake
Dessert
- Key lime pie
— ∮∮∮ —
Fork & Knife & Spoon & Napkin
Appetizers
Choose one
- Arugula-dusted spaghetti — Three noodles per order, perfect for sharing
- KonMari mussels — Hudson River mussels with the shells discarded, resting comfortably in a broth that sparks only joy
- Crab envy — Our signature dish: A fleet of miniature snow globes, each containing a baby crab suspended in a housemade gunpowder-infused simple syrup
Entrees
Choose one
- Korean-style pork tacos — Deconstructed, reconstructed, and presented humbly
- Salmon and quinoa pizza — One single wild-caught Alaskan salmon pepperoni topped with ten grains of quinoa, drizzled with saltwater, and lightly bound with gauze
- Duck confit pound cake — A savory treat, sliced thick and served with tobacco sorbet and sunflower steam
Dessert
- Key lime pie
— ∮∮∮ —
CAT WITH HEART EYES EMOJI
Appetizers
Choose one
- Arugula™ — By the fistful, thrown from a great height
- Flex Your Mussels — Steamed, beaten, and drowned, because it’s always Friday somewhere in the world!
- Crabs— LOL!
Entrees
Choose one
- Pork BOOM! — Dead pig, sriracha, bourbon, and whatnot
- Salmon Slider Tower — Served stacked and ready to vape
- 2 Girls, 1 Duck — Waterfowl and roasted females. #yes!
Dessert
- Key lime pie
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