5 Things

So you don’t have tickets to Elton John. Just turn on 98.9 Liberty FM and enjoy his entire discography while on the way to these five other things. They haven’t been knighted, but we love them for what they are.

Basketball shouldn’t be the only thing on your mind this weekend. No, sir! It should be joined by a liberal dose of green beer! Our weekend plan has you starting off with a coin toss, coasting through puddles of bodily fluids, and kissing strangers. I believe a “You’re welcome” is in order!

1. VCU vs. Wichita State

It’s impossible not to be excited for those plucky Rams as they wreak havoc (SPORTS JOKE) on the NCAA tournament for the second year running. It’s not 2011: The Sequel, as there’s a different cast of characters, but the excitement brings the city together. It also brings the city to a screeching halt, so don’t plan any Fan driving late Thursday evening, because a drunk guy in black and gold WILL be waiting to pound on your car hood with a sticky fist. As should we all. As should we all.

  • Thurs., Mar. 15 • 8:00 PM
  • Your local bar, couch, or kindly friend’s house
  • However much a few beers costs these days

2. GWAR: Benefit for the Cory Smoot Family Fund

Something isn’t right about actual tragedy striking GWAR, yet strike it did. Guitarist Cory Smoot, aka Flattus Maximus, was found dead of a heart attack last fall, leaving a widow and a yet-to-be-born child. Surviving band members don their terrifying masks at The National this Friday to honor his memory and raise a little cash for his family. Join Balsac the Jaws of Death, Beefcake the Mighty, and Snottus Fungoid (or whatever) for a celebration of how beautiful, fleeting, and all-out disgusting life can be.

  • Fri., Mar. 16 • 8:00 PM (doors at 7:00 PM)
  • The National, 708 E. Broad St.
  • $25

3. West End Comedy Downtown

I know this is counterintuitive, but West End Comedy will be coming Downtown. Repeat: you don’t have to get on I-64 to enjoy some quality improv. Maybe you’ll never have to get on I-64 ever again! Instead, enjoy ample parking and even ampler chuckling at a St. Paddy’s Day celebration like no other. Mature audiences only, please.

  • Fri., Mar. 16 • 8:00 PM
  • Rhythm Hall at CenterStage, 600 E. Grace St.
  • $10

4. Shamrock the Block™

I’ve been to Ireland once or twice, and I COULD NOT STOP KISSING EVERYONE! What is with those kissable Irish!? JK that would be crazy and I would be arrested. Go crazy and maybe get arrested yourself at this year’s Shamrock the Block™ in Shockoe Bottom. There’s a bunch of bands, a bunch of beer, and lots of fun stuff for the whole family. Put on your greenest clothes and pucker up your lips and get going! I’ll just be here putting ™ on everything! Erin go bragh!™

  • Sat., Mar. 17 • 12:00 – 6:00 PM
  • Shockoe Bottom
  • Free™

5. Elvis at 21: Photographs by Alfred Wertheimer at the VMFA

It’s going to be a beautiful weekend for strolling contentedly in and around our beautiful art museum, wondering what it must have been like to be an impossibly good-looking and talented Elvis Presley at 21, with his whole life before him. Supposedly, Richmond photobombs some of the pictures in Wertheimer’s 56-photo series. The King! In the King of Cities! Catch the last day of this exhibit this Sunday.

  • Through Sun., Mar. 18
  • Virginia Museum of Fine Arts, 200 N. Boulevard
  • $8 for adults, $6 for seniors, free for members, children, and military personnel and families
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Susan Howson

Susan Howson is managing editor for this very website. She writes THE BEST bios.

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