Dark Shadows: A study in camp
Johnny Depp and Tim Burton are back in action again! Will this be Alice in Wonderland? Will it be Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? WILL IT BE EDWARD SCISSORHANDS?
The Raven: eat my shorts
It’s 1849. Edgar Allan Poe is about to die penniless and alone. Good thing he has a few days to solve crimes before he sinks into eternal darkness!
The Cabin in the Woods: don’t read this review
OK guys, realtalk: The Cabin in the Woods is wonderful. But if you value storytelling and surprise, stop reading this review right now.
Bully: how children treat other children
Documentary and call-to-action, Bully exposes the lengths kids will go to be awful. I don’t know about you, but I’d forgotten.
We Need to Talk About Kevin: Do we ever
What’s worse than watching tragedy strike your kid? Watching your kid be the tragedy that strikes other people, starting with yourself.
Wrath of the Titans: the Titan is wroth
Lavamen, demon guys, and three dimensions–what more could you want from a classic Greek tale? A lot, I guess?
The Hunger Games: may cause mass weeping
This past Friday, nearly an hour before showtime, the line for The Hunger Games was several dozen people deep. Some of those people were wearing homemade puffy-paint adorned Hunger Games T-shirts.
21 Jump Street: adorably adolescent
While it may not resemble the original 1980s television show, 21 Jump Street serves up, surprisingly, more LOLs than you can cram in your mouth.
John Carter: A man walks into a Barsoom
A Civil War vet from Virginia ends up on Mars. Why would you not want to see this movie?
The Artist: everything you ever wanted to know
For the record, I really wanted this review to have no words in it, but I was shot down.
