Kickers Prediction Game of Awesome Round 16 – Playoff Addition

Prior to every home game a panel of so called experts will predict the outcome of the Richmond Kickers game. Each expert receives 1 point for each correct prediction. At the end of the season the winner gets a trophy and pack of gum.

September 12, 2014; 9:37 AM • by Richard Hayes

This Saturday at 7:00 PM it’s the first game of the USL Playoffs. This is a “one and done” type of affair, so if the Kickers lose they’re done until next spring. The #4 seed Kickers will be facing long time rival #5 seed Charleston Battery. The teams have clashed a total of 51 times and the record stands in Richmond’s favor barely at 23-22-6. Last time these two met in City Stadium it was a four to nil stomping by the Kickers.

The Kickers didn’t finish the season strongly and has gone winless in the past five games. The reason for this sudden decline comes down to the loss of three players.  Henry Kalungi injured in a friendly against Crystal Palace, Joe Willis being called back up to D.C. United after Dykstra was injured in a friendly and the final blow to the privates came on August 16th when forward Matthew Delicate went down playing against Dayton. Delicate is the Richmond Kickers all time goal scorer and according to the Charleston Battery game preview, “Richmond’s average of 2.1 goals per game across its first 23 matches fell to just 1.0 over its final five”, ouch. If the Kickers are going to win their offense needs to do something it hasn’t done lately and that’s put the ball in the net.

Game preview is here and tickets are here.

	Prediction	Reasoning	Score
RVANews Soccer Guru		The Charleston Battery despite their name don’t play in Charleston proper. They play on a swampy, mosquito, gator invested, sawgrass plagued, spit of land that is called if memory serves Malaria Town. The near constant ravages of tropical disease have weakened the players and it’s doubtful many will make it the full 90. I’ve been told that additional medical crews will be present. The Battery also have a weird obsession with oatmeal cookies (not making this up surprisingly) and the power of Ukrop’s Rainbow Cookies will prevail.	9
Red Army		August is a dumb month anyway, it never happened. So we need a little help from our old school friends to get more home games, big deal. If there’s one thing this team does, its (usually) not lose. Penalties for all! But not this week, Kickers advance with a nice 3-1 win to remind Charleston who’s actually the superior oldest club in the league.	11
Richmond Kickers		Ah, the Battery. We meet again, but this time is different. I’ve heard all these things about oatmeal cookies and stuff, but I want to go on record that I am not a fan of oatmeal cookies. That can only mean one thing: there is no way we lose and we are off to the semifinals of the playoffs. By the way, I am always up for some chocolate chip cookies…	9
Total Soccer Show		Playoffs! It’s fourth seed versus fifth seed, but that doesn’t tell the whole story as the Kickers actually finished 10 points ahead of Charlotte in the regular season. To underline that gap I want to predict the Kickers will finish 10 goals ahead of Charlotte in this game, but that seems excessive. So I’ll settle for nine.	9

RVA News Soccer Guru (Richard Hayes): All of Richard’s soccer knowledge comes from playing FIFA on the original Playstation and standing in bars, drinking, and yelling at the television. He also helps run RVA DCU and American Outlaws Richmond Chapter, which mainly involves drinking and yelling at televisions.

Red Army (Matt Myers): Matt was sent off by Leigh Cowlishaw in a summer camp scrimmage as a pre-teen but has not held that against the team. He’s coming to grips with being a relatively old man now after seeing the youngsters in the Red Army and on the Kickers roster. He’s also attended way more matches than he should admit to, especially for having lived in Richmond a total of one out of the last 13 years.

Richmond Kickers (Kickeroo): The Kicker from down under. He doesn’t really like anyone who isn’t a fan of the Kickers. A daredevil who will pretty much try anything and everything but would rather not talk (on the advice from lawyers) about the incident with the scooter and the Flaming Hoop of Death. He’s also sensitive marsupial who enjoys long walks on a dew covered soccer field and watching the sun set behind the goal post. He also shares something with the new Kickers beer, Kick it Hunny: Hops.

Total Soccer Show (Daryl Grove): Daryl is English so every thing he says about footsoccerball naturally carries more weight because he says it a British accent. He is also part of the excellent local radio show and podcast Total Soccer Show that keeps track of all soccer related things in an intelligent and fun way. If you’re not listening to the Total Soccer Show you need to change that post haste.

September 12, 2014 9:37 AM · in Fan of the Fan, Hills and Heights, and more 1