Happy Weekend, RVA: Wade in to the holiday season

Bah humbug. JK, bah humbug on bah humbugs! This weekend is going to be beautiful and so are you, when you radiate holiday spirit.

December 13, 2014; 7:22 AM • by Susan Howson

Photo by: Lynn Friedman

50s and sunny this weekend! 50s AND SUNNY! That’s some old-fashioned Virginia winter right there. Viva la South! Apparel translation: Tights, boots, and a winning smile.

My mom lost her mind with fury this week, as should you all about this ridiculous billboard (nice piece by Michael Paul Williams of the RTD, btw). She envisioned gay sons and daughters returning home for the holidays and having this as their welcoming party, and her heart broke. My heart swelled with pride as she called Lamar, gave them a piece of her mind, then wrote some letters to editors. You should all do this! Lamar’s number is 804.794.7000.

Sad side note, the model on the billboard is a gay man who did not know that his stock photo was going to be used for anti-gay propaganda. AND, get this. He is NOT A TWIN. REPEAT: NOT. A. TWIN.

But, things aren’t all bad!

In case you haven’t heard, the holidays are coming. It’s likely that you need to buy some gifts, so we did you a solid and put some suggestions together. I enjoy this list because it is both ridiculous and useful, and also because I convinced even myself that a coloring book would be a cool thing to have as an adult.

There’s a ton of other holiday-related things to do. My personal favorite is Yuletides at Agecroft Hall, because I am one of those nerds that secretly dreams of being in a Shakespearean troupe. And also because I like cider so much–particularly when it is ladled from a giant cauldron.

If you’re holidayed out, try this neat trick: go and carefully soak your giant fat head. The holidays are awesome, and you’ll be sorry you missed all the fun when it’s January and everything is boring and awful.

Reasons to stay in bed

A couple of weeks ago, I recommended that you watch Nebraska on Netflix. I revoke that recommendation, having taken my own advice. My advice sucked, I hated the movie, and you should definitely watch the documentary Bridgend instead, so we can compare conspiracy theories.
You own this adorable sweatshirt and just want to stay comfortable. Side note: what a bummer that that is an actual sweatshirt and not a sweater. Another side note: I don’t know why they call it ugly. Ugly Christmas sweaters are like…giant snowmen or something, not tasteful reindeer/snowflake patterns. Jeez.

Reasons to get up

Oh, I don’t know, CARYTOWN HOLIDAY CARRIAGE RIDES?!
Colonial Williamsburg is just down the road and is the prettiest at this time of year, despite the fact that colonists did not actually decorate for Christmas and they just invented this whole colonial Christmas look in the 1960s. I’m for it, though! Pro tip: if you go after Christmas, all of the beautiful ornaments and candles and stuff are super cheap. Plus, more hot cider being ladled from huge vessels.
Your work holiday party, I imagine. It’s gotta be in there somewhere.