TIP! Get that thing off you correctly and right this minute

Barf, double barf, and triple barf. Ticks are revolting.

Nobody likes ticks. I don’t care how cool with bugs you are and how much you like to pick up camel crickets and whether or not you admire spiders for their noble work. Ticks are disgusting, ticks can be deadly, and ticks are just plain unwelcome on our bodies.

It is essential that you check yourself for ticks after you’ve been outdoors. IN ALL AREAS OF YOUR BODY. EVEN THE WEIRD AREAS.

Let’s say you have a tick. After you swallow your revulsion and accept that you have an enemy who must be destroyed at all costs (even if it doesn’t carry Lyme disease, a tick has a bite that makes mosquito bites look like opening acts)—you must remove it from your poor, sullied body in the right way.

Here’s how to do it correctly. Warning, this video will cause you undue stress, as this “tick expert” talks for a maddening length of time for someone who has a tick currently feasting on her blood. JUST PULL IT OUT, you will yell.

Summer is like war. Good luck.

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Susan Howson

Susan Howson is managing editor for this very website. She writes THE BEST bios.

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