None more super: How to Super Bowl

It’s coming, whether you like it or not, and there are plenty of ways on the big day for hungry Richmonders to get their sodium on.

February 2, 2016; 11:41 AM • by Stephanie Ganz

Photo by: vincentvds2

This Sunday in Santa Clara, California, the Carolina Panthers will face the Denver Broncos in an epic dance contest. Or is it a sports game? It’s something big, and people are excited about it. What do you care? You care plenty, don’t lie. This is the 50th time that two teams have gone head-to-head for Football Supremacy, and whether you’re rooting for Manning or Newton, one thing we can all agree on is SNACKS. Thus, we’ve got five Super Snacking options for Bowl-lovers of all kinds.

STROOPER BOWL

The Stroops crew wants to be your Super Bowl heroes. And how does one really win the Super Bowl? As any football enthusiast will tell you, it’s with dips and sausages and fancy mustards and something called touchdowns, which are, apparently inedible.

These fine folks have all the important categories covered with their own pigs in blankets and smokies in BBQ sauce ($6 for a dozen); sausages by the pack; plus dips of the cheddar cheese, pimento cheese, and crab variety; and then there are the toppings–chili, sauerkraut, and mustards of the anise, harissa, and good ol’ yeller varieties.

Throw in some heroic sodas or the most heroic of all beverages–Miller High Life ponies–plus a pint of Stroop Scrap Ice Cream to be devoured secretly after your guests have left.

SUPER BOIL

You know what Super Bowl 50 needs? SEAFOOD. Like, as in big bubbling pots of shrimp and crab and crawfish. You can find the fixin’s you need for deep-sea success at Yellow Umbrella, Bon Air Seafood, and Whole Foods. In addition to the hot crustacean band of edibles, you’ll need corn and new potatoes, and of course, Old Bay. You will also need beer. The Stiegl Radler would be right on time here with its grapefruity notes.

Outfit your table with a plastic tablecloth, bibs, mallets, and other shell-crackers; and let the boilin’ begin. Need more inspiration. Here it is.

YOU DO YOU-PER BOWL

Let’s get serious. This is the biggest American Sports Day of the year, people. Choose your teams, draw a line down the middle of the floor, and prepare your household for a true Super Bowl viewing, complete with cheering and crying and upturning an entire bowl of Cool Ranch Doritos in excitement.

Here’s a very straightforward menu for a by-the-book Super Party:

Potato Skins — Watch dudes toss a pigskin while you toss inumerable potato skins in solidarity!
Buffalo Chicken Dip — All the buffalo goodness, none of the messy bone parts! Also, this is a good way to get in a serving of vegetables–celery counts!
Denver Chili Verde — Go Broncos!
Slow Cooker Carolina Pulled Pork — Go Panthers!
6-Foot Sub — You deserve a sub sandwich that’s taller than you are. Punt this one to the pro’s at Stock Provisions, who’ve launched a brand new catering menu just in time for the big day. Orders must be in by Wednesday. Get on it!
Cool Ranch Doritos — You can make them yourself, or, you know, buy them.

FRIED AND TRUE-PER BOWL

If you don’t like the idea of being cooped up in your own boring house for the big day, break on out and head to Strangeways Brewing. They kick off SBS at 11:00 AM, as should we all. Mean Bird will be slinging the fried chickies plus Jumbo Chicken Wings and insanely snackable Veggie Bird Bites until 6:00 PM or while supplies last. If you’re worried about missing out on your favorites, put in an order ahead by calling 804.402.1353 or emailing giddyup@meanbirdrva.com, and leave nothing to chance (except for the outcome of the game)! That gives you all day to stockpile chicken before kick-off at 6:30, and yes, Strangeways will show the game on the big screen. Duh, this is America.

NEW YEAR BOWL

Maybe you’re not into the whole Sports thing. But! You have been looking for a reason to get a bunch of people together with a seam-splitting amount of delicious food. For you, I suggest combining the Super Bowl and Chinese New Year Eve into one amazing dumpling-making (and eating) party.

Chinese New Year begins on January 8th, but families around the world will already be feasting on traditional foods, hanging lanterns, and welcoming the new lunar year. Here’s what you do: Turn on a TV somewhere in your house to the Super Bowl. Mute it if you must. Then follow this handy guide for throwing your own Chinese New Year Dumpling Party by Jen Lin-Liu. Voila! You’re killing multiple birds with one dumpling-shaped stone, so now, whether you’re cheering for the Broncos, the Panthers, or the Fire Monkey; you’ve already won!