Kids and restaurants
What’s acceptable dining out behavior for kids? Should parents be concerned about what others think or just let their kids be kids? Find out what two local couples have to say and check out their top picks for local family-friendly restaurants.
Editor’s note: Today’s feature is the latest installment of our parenting column written by two sets of Richmonders: Jorge and Patience Salgado (veteran parents of four gorgeous children), and Ross and Valerie Catrow (parenting rookies who have only been doing this “raising a child thing” for a few months). Check back fortnightly to watch them discuss/agree/disagree/throw down over all kinds of parenting issues, Richmond-related and beyond.
Today’s question: How do you feel about kids in restaurants? Any favorite local, kid-friendly places?
The Salgados
It was the first warm day of spring and everyone in Carytown had the same idea. We decided it was the perfect day to window shop and enjoy a leisurely lunch outside with our three kids at the time. Carytown Burger and Fries was a total zoo, about 500 people crammed into the 2 x 6 space where you order. For some reason, maybe it was our winter cabin fever but this did not deter us. We ended up waiting over an hour to get our food, let me tell you it was the longest hour of my entire life. Jorge and I looked at each other, convinced this must be what hell is. At one point, our almost two year old was climbing on top of his head.
“Oh no, we are those people, the people with the unruly, annoying kids in the restaurant.” I said. We both laughed nervously. The only thing worse is being the parent of the kid screaming on a plane. This ended our restaurant time for a while. Honestly, up until that point, I had been happily taking my two little boys to fine eating establishments for years with very little problem. Places a tiny bit fancier than good ole’ Carytown Burger and Fries, but not too fancy – we aren’t exactly foodies.
Do you think there are some places that children just should not be? Does our society have unrealistic expectations; are we still stuck in the “children should be seen and not heard” era? Being a mother of four, the noise, crying, and chaos truly do not bother me. My superpower is being able to function and enjoy myself under all circumstances, but I do not expect others to have the same ability or desire to be understanding in all places. Where do we draw the line? Is it okay to have kids at Nacho Mama’s but not Can Can or Edo’s Squid? Or just the quiet, adult-like children? I’m not sure what the answer is but I don’t enjoy the stress so we save some places for a night alone together or have periods of take out joy.
If you are looking for the kid friendly eats here in our beloved RVA, these are our tried and true.
Joe’s Inn (Southside)
Oh the brilliance of having cheap fast food toys in a basket by the door! My kids beg to go there just to play with junk I would never buy. We could have a 20 course meal there if we wanted. (2616 Buford Road)
Bottom’s Up
Service is a little slow but the wait staff always is kind enough to seat us in a spacious area outside with the other parents and stock us with plenty of crayons and drawing paper. The pizza is worth the wait. (1700 Dock Street)
Strawberry Street Café
Kids eat free on Wednesday nights. The kids think having a bathtub in a restaurant is just awesome. (421 North Strawberry Street)
Perly’s
A favorite for breakfast at our house. It’s always bustling and busy which seems to work for our brood. (111 East Grace Street)
When in doubt, just go anyway and dress your kid in this.
The Catrows
There’s a coffee and sandwich shop up in Fredericksburg with a framed sign sitting on the counter:
“Unattended children will be given an espresso and a puppy.”
Humorous, yes. Some might think a bit extreme. But I think the intended message is justified.
In the 7 1/2 months I have been a parent, I have quite frequently been on the receiving end of blatant eye rolls and annoyed sighs from fellow patrons as I lug my little boy into a local restaurant for lunch. Sometimes I want to stare those people down and say “Are we NEVER supposed to go out in public?” But at the same time, I do see where they’re coming from; I too have spent many a “nice evening out” watching some exhausted-out-of-his-mind kid run laps around the restaurant as his parents enjoy their dinner at the next table, oblivious to (or choosing to ignore) what their child is doing.
The issue of kids in restaurants is tricky. While restaurants are public places (and “public” does include children) that doesn’t mean that when people go there they are signing up for a free-for-all. But, with kids come a little chaos now and then: kids cry, kids spill things, kids get antsy. And as long as they aren’t invading your personal space, I think I little slack needs to be cut now and then.
However, as parents, we think one of our most important jobs is to teach our kid how to be considerate of other people. We can’t do that if he’s never *around* those other people.
When Ross was growing up, his parents took him out every Wednesday to family-friendly restaurants for the sole purpose of teaching him how to behave properly in public – places where good behavior was still expected, but the occasional meltdown would probably go unnoticed by the other customers. It can’t be a weekly event for us at this point (hello, recession!) but we do make an effort to take our son out whenever we can. Like with everything, practice makes perfect. And while we don’t expect perfect behavior from our child, we do expect him to use his manners and show consideration for others. The only way he’ll know to do that is if we put him in situations where he has to.
Luckily, there are a quite a few places around town that are perfect for “restaurant practice.” Here are some of our favorites…
Northside Grille
This is perhaps one of the most family-friendly places in town: wide aisles that allow room for high chairs, changing table in the bathroom, toys set up in the back, and at least one waiter who consistently brings my little guy a package of crackers to tide him over while we wait for our food. (1217 Bellevue Avenue)
Red Robin
True, not Richmond-specific, but this is definitely one of those places where a little squawking will go unnoticed. Plus, there are tons of ceiling fans in that place, a 7-month old’s dream come true. (Find a location near you.)
La Casita
It’s a little cramped at times, but the staff at this little Northside gem is always very sweet to the little ones and will do their best to find you a table that will let you spread out a bit without interfering with other diners. There’s also a nice busy hum without it being too loud, and their ceiling plastered with Christmas lights are sure to put your little ones in a trance entertain your little ones long enough for you to scarf down your food. (5204 Brook Road)
Joe’s Inn (The Fan)
The smoke-free “family” side is can be a bit of a squeeze with a high chair, but their long list of side dishes are great and easily-modified for the little ones just trying out solid food. And I can see their all-day breakfast service being helpful should we end up with a picky eater who only wants to gobble down pancakes. (205 North Shields Avenue)
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Notice: Comments that are not conducive to an interesting and thoughtful conversation may be removed at the editor’s discretion.
It’s one thing to take your kid out to teach him how to interact with others in public. Its another to let him go nuts and, as you said, be completely oblivious.
And don’t forget about the wait staff that has to clean up after the kid terrorizing the restaurant. It’s one thing if you tip, but don’t take your kids out in and then be the worst tipper they have all night because you ‘have to feed all these kids.’
Kids happen.. I don’t think we have ever said “oh we can’t go there we have the kids”. but we certainly expect good behavior no matter where we go. Even when they were 2. Now with the new baby – their have been plenty of times already where the fam is enjoying dinner and mom or dad is outside with crying baby. (Yes, outside). Depending on where we are – it doesn’t matter what other people kids are doing (like fast food places) – but if its a sit down, waiter/waitress kind of place — I don’t want to see your kids running, crying, staring, kicking the seat (in a booth that your next to).
One of our favorite places is Candela’s Pizza. There are two locations, we usually end up at the one off of Huguenot. It’s beside a dance studio in the strip mall by the Outback Steakhouse and Great Big Greenhouse at the corner of Huguenot and Robious. Great pizza, friendly staff, and a lot of video games and little trinket machines for kids. (plus draft beer for the adults!) Very family friendly. We had my kid’s birthday party there, and it was a big hit with everyone!
http://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g60893-d395189-r20577838-Candela_s_Pizzeria-Richmond_Virginia.html
Mexico Restaurant (at least the one on Hull near Woodlake) is very kid friendly…the wait staff go out of their way to entertain kids.
As for our personal theory of kids in restaurants, we’ve got two boys under five. We’d never take them someplace if we wouldn’t want to see kids there were we without ours. On the other hand, we also work very hard and patiently with them to help them learn how to behave in restaurants, and this seems to have paid off. We also tip pretty heavily; I used to wait tables and I’ve seen some kids do awful things (watched one spit his food on the floor while I was at his table once), so even though ours aren’t that bad, we still recognize that there’s just some extra work involved in taking care of us.
Ooooh yes, I should have added Mexico Restaurant. One thing I loved about that place (at least the one on Forest Hill) is that they have stand that seems to be actually made to hold car seats (rather than having to turn the high chair upside down which makes me so effing nervous).
As you can see, I’m mildly obsessed with high chairs. Occupational hazard.
First of all I want to say I am not a parent. So, I don’t have a whole lot of opinions on this.
But I do think this may be a new etiquette thing like cell phones, etc. Was there really ever a generation that ate out as much as this one? My folks used to get a babysitter and leave our dumb-asses at home. One of the handful of times I remember going out, I threw such a fit at this French restaurant ( pretty sure someone mentioned snails.) the chef ran to the store so they could make me a hot dog
I wish someone would write a book for all of these new acceptable behaviour issues. (Like texting when someone is talking to you! UGH!)
Other than that, as a waitress most of my life, I would say don’t let them run loose in a restaurant. The reasons I can think of are hot coffee pots, knives, broken glass, and because kids just like to put things in their mouths.
But what can restaurants do to help ? Paper and crayons? Buttered noodles? Hand puppets? I would be interested to know that.
This article seems unbalanced without Chef Andy’s input.
We ate out ALL the time when I was a kid! We rarely went out to anywhere “fancy”, just like I never take my kid to a fancy place now.
Horrible kid in restaurant – my child got sick all over the table (I later learned it was due to an allergic reaction to pineapple, so it wasn’t like I dragged a sick kid to a restaurant!) I grabbed napkins while my husband took my kid out of the restaurant and I begged the manager to let me help clean it up with the mop, etc., but she refused, saying it happens to everyone. So I left an 100% tip and have been terrified to return to that restaurant!
Oh and Kendra, the best thing a restaurant could do for my family is to bring rolls or something if the food takes way longer than expected, and always bring the kid’s food out first.
Agree about bringing out rolls or chips or something similarly easy and snacky. We’ll pay a buck or two extra without question, especially if we need a little more. Also, a two-year-old does not need a full place setting, esp. adult forks and knives, and ask before putting the plate down in front of him (although on-the-ball parents will probably tell you before you ask).
Other than that, the best thing you can do is be patient and engage the kids, even if it’s a big smile and “hello there!” And if some parent isn’t keeping their kids under control, just lie and say “Someone dropped a glass earlier…we cleaned up but there might be a little shard that we missed. Better safe than sorry, right?” (I wonder if that’s lawsuit bait, though)
Ry, I totally hear you…and thankfully we are excellent tippers, and I always bus my table too. :)
I’m amazed by parents who don’t clean up after their kids. I remember I was once in a store and a little boy took the top off of his soda and poured it all over the floor. The mother yelled at the kid, called an employee over to clean it up, and then walked away. Granted, it might have been the employee’s job to keep the store clean, but she was setting a horrible example for her child.
No kids, here, so keep that in mind…
If I am at an establishment geared to adults past seven p.m. and my bill will approach or hit three digits, I am going to be pissed if a screaming child interferes with my enjoyment. However, I have seen plenty of kids at these places who are perfectly behaved, and plenty who aren’t. I If I’m at Red Robin or somewhere geared to families, kids are a part of the deal. I always appreciate it when parents either address inappropriate behavior anywhere or take their children outside until they calm down. (Espeically babies, who are generally pissed at being out that late.)
I think it’s give and take. Diners, we need to realize that families need to eat and have every right to dine in public. Also, kids are not robots and might sometimes make noise and misbehave. I want to cry when I’m hungry, too, so I can’t blame them. And parents, maybe the fancy restaurants are for babysitter nights. And keep in mind that not everyone thinks your child is as cute as you do.
This all falls under the rule “realize you share the world with others and are not the most important one in it.”
As a long time waitress and now mama to almost 4, I LOVED reading this! I’ve been the diner with the yelling baby waiting for food while my older two are in a war over power rangers and the last french fry, I’ve been the waitress scrounging the (un-kid-friendly) kitchen for scraps of mild cheese and crustless baguette, and I’ve even been the waitress with my own baby slung on my back ringing people up and pushing out pizzas.
I truly think this is a case where it just depends. It depends on the restaurant, it depends on the kid, and it depends on how the parent(s) will react when their child just isn’t cooperating. If you know that your off spring is likely to scream- in a very high pitched, annoying way, like my daughter, Violet, or refuse to stay in their seat, or not eat anything the restaurant has to offer, I’d stay home, especially if you are genuinely not the parent willing to let your food get cold while you’re walking your angel around the fountain outside. If it’s as simple as bringing them something to occupy themselves, their own homemade dinner of mild cheese sandwiches, or another well mannered friend to keep them busy and make it a special event- by all means, go out and enjoy yourself.
I think it is important for kids these days, especially because we are of an age that enjoys going out, to appreciate good food and to acquire a passion for trying new things. In the same breath, however, it is also equally if not more important for the parents to get some time away. A much needed romantic rendezvous? A get together with old friends you haven’t seen because they don’t have kids yet and frankly your life terrifies them? Leave the kids at home and enjoy your time away. You’ll be a better parent when you get back.
I do have to say one place that was left off of the list. Kuba Kuba is our neighborhood spot, and they are always hugely accommodating with our brood. Coloring books, grilled cheeses, scrambled eggs with no garnish, and the everlasting supply of juice boxes. We love them. We also leave a huge tip and clean up whatever mess we made.
Thank you for writing this!
I find that my newborn is most mesmorized when we go to Richard’s Rendezvous.
@Melanie: I love me some Kuba Kuba… we weren’t so sure how kid-friendly it is, so thanks for clarifying!
Good comments, Melanie, especially the bits where you suggest that parents have their own snacks and toys for the kids just in case the restaurant isn’t prepared to offer these things quickly enough.
We routinely take our kids (28 months and 7 months) to “non-kid” establishments such as Rowlands, Acacia Mid-town, Pomegranades, Lu-Lu’s, etc. These restaurants seem happy to accomodate us. We also take them to places such as Celito Lindo, O’tooles, etc. So far so good. It may be that we have just been lucky. We bring an arsenal of coloring books and crayons, books, snacks, drinks, etc. There have been times the little is fussy and I am not shy to breastfeed her on the spot (discretly of course). And many of these places have good background noise, which helps.
I don’t have any children but when I’ve been out with friends and their young children there have been times of high embarrassment for me. Which has left to me typically leaving a hefty tip.
It’s the screaming, jumping around, and crawling under tables children who are the worst of course because they also leave the biggest mess.
It is unfortunate and I whole heartedly feel for the restaurant server. Thankfully not all parents and children are like this, but when they are it gives the restaurant a great opportunity to impress the surrounding customers with a quality service attitude that those customers will take away with them.