Chairman Brando’s Fancy Finds: Jan 13, ’11

January 13, 2011; 11:34 AM • by Chairman Brando

Staring at this blank canvas of a “content goes here” box, I decided that today we will focus on VIDJAGAEMS! Everyone loves VIDJAGAEMS! Those are the same things as video games but more fun to say. Either way people love ’em. I mean, I don’t actually know that; it’s hard to know things when you haven’t stopped playing long enough to see what others are doing. For all I know the world outside could be a fabrication laboriously constructed in spirit by those who do nothing but sit indoors with VIDJAGAEMS and INTERNETS. A world whose false existence is but a mere shallow hope of something beautiful, something more, out there to behold — a tenuous belief that we laze about indoors because we have the freedom to make such a choice.

S O L I P S I S M

Sorry. That’s an Inception joke no one will get. My dorkometer is off the… meter.

We shall begin with something light. No prior knowledge or experience is required to enjoy our first course — it’s just the physics engine of the game Skate being, well, let’s call it creative.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2UXDn_bB20&hd=1

We’ll follow that up with an accurate portrayal of what happened during the Apollo missions. I’m not entirely sure why this made me laugh but all that matters is it did. I wanted to embed this but they disabled that for some reason (blargh!), so just click somewhere in all this green text.

Okay. We have arrived at the main course. Hopefully I haven’t lost you because this one does require a bit of context. One day some, I dunno, 8-year-old kid (who probably (hopefully!) doesn’t speak English natively) decided to write some fan fiction for the Half-Life “universe.” Some dudes on the Internets found it and dramatically reenacted it. What lies below is that reenactment.