Women give me a lot of nasty looks when I wear my “Let Me Hold your Melons” t-shirt around this time of year. What gives, ladies!?! I’m not trying to cop a feel for your boobs (although…) but rather a few of the watermelons that will descend upon Carytown this weekend like a plague of locust! And watermelons are but ONE of the many things kicking off in Richmond this weekend…
Although Elvis Costello decided to cancel on us (again!) at the last minute, we have another musical heavyweight coming into town, the best place to show off your huge melons, a festival of local beer, something Wicked this way comes, and…uh… soccer.
You may remember her first #1 hit, “I’m the Only One” back in 1993. But do not think for one moment (I know that you are; I can read your mind!) that she’s thrown in the towel. Psshaww. She’s not only a musical force, but also someone who stands up for the legal rights of gays and lesbians. Here’s a very sensible, calm Melissa (yes, I’m on a first name basis with her–deal with it!) talking with Elizabeth Hasselback about gay marriage on a show that has been known to cause aneurysms in laboratory mice…The View (things get interesting at the 2:12 mark). She’s a living legend, and there’s still tickets to see her tonight at Innsbrook.
Tell her that you know me!
- Thurs., Aug. 4 • Gates open at 6pm
- Innsbrook Pavilion, 4901 Lakebrook Drive Glen Allen, Virginia 23060
- $17.00 in advance, $20 at the gate / Gold Circle Seating $50, Skybox $100
Who doesn’t like watermelons!?! Don’t believe? Well, then…I present to you evidence here, here, here and here. I’ll be blunt, folks: we all know it’s hot as shit out, and nothing soothes the oppressive nature of Mother Nature’s heat than a big, fat juicy watermelon, amiright???? If only there was, I don’t know…some sorta festival…you know…one that was devoted ENTIRELY to the most wateriest of all melons…?
OF COURSE! The Carytown Watermelon Festival is happening this weekend! Join 115,000 of your closest friends and over 3,000 watermelons as 80 musicians, over 100 exhibitors, and one of the largest kids areas of any east coast festival goes off like a bomb…a big, juicy, watermelony bomb!
- Sun, Aug. 7 • 10am – 6pm
Did you hear? There’s a hidden rider attached to the recently passed debt ceiling legislation. Know what it is?
Beer is now ILLEGAL!!!!
JK, jk, jk. Fret not, you can still drink beer to your heart’s content. Hey…speaking of beer, did you know that there’s a poop-ton of Virginia micro brews? No? Well micro brews are not diminutive portions of beer, but breweries that produces a limited quantity of their hoppy liquid. This Friday, Gallery5 is hosting AugustFest. It’s like Oktoberfest, just one month earlier (Oktoberfest is actually held in September, duh!) and without the Germans!
Beers will include those made by Starr Hill, Legend, Roanoke Railhouse, Blue Mountain, and also brand new breweries to the RVA distribution scene!
- Fri., Aug. 5 • 7pm – 11pm
- Gallery5, 200 W. Marshall Street
- FREE to attend, tastings will be $1 – $3 each. Only 21+
Wicked is coming back to town! No, I don’t mean the adult film company (trust me, you don’t want to take the kids to see one of their productions) but the Broadway production that was a MASSIVE hit here in Richmond, and around the country. The production will be at the Landmark Theater in October, but you definitely want to grab tickets PRONTO. They go on sale tomorrow at 10am, and they could sell out in a matter of hours.
Get ‘er done, y’all!
- Fri., Aug. 5 • 10am – 12pm
- Landmark Theater, 6 N. Laurel Street
- $35.00 – $77.50 (plus handling)
I love when I get to put a soccer-related event into 5 Things, because it give me an excuse to put in this .GIF of Hope Solo blowing a kiss. Sigh.
(wake up, Nathan!)
Anyway, even though the U.S. Women’s World Cup team didn’t win the championship last month, they still reminded people that soccer doesn’t suck and is actually… kinda awesome.
To help prove that point, the Richmond Kickers will host their 4th annual Family Fest. It’ll have all the fixin’s for a grand ‘ol time: food, music, inflatable games for kids, and fun for the whole family. Even grandma can get in on the fun. And then at 7pm the Kickers will take on the Dayton Dutch Lions.
- Sat., Aug. 6 • 4pm festivities (game starts at 7pm)
- City Stadium, 3201 Maplewood Avenue
- Before 6:00 pm a $10.00 ticket allows admission for the whole group. Regular priced admission ($12/adults, $7/youth) will apply after 6:00 pm.
photo by stevendepolo