GWAR, Me, and the On-rushing Grip of Death: Part 37

Hi! Dave Brockie here! Did ya miss me? I missed you! But there will be plenty of time to catch up later…right now, we have to get to EPISODE 37.

Hi! Dave Brockie here! Did ya miss me? I missed you! But there will be plenty of time to catch up later…right now, we have to get to…

GWAR, Me, and the On-rushing Grip of Death: Episode 37

Finally, the New Chapter is Done!”

Thats right, I finally got it together. After a few weeks off, I am back, and I have written by far the best, longest episode yet. Man, this one is great. You are really gonna love it! What? You thought I had abandoned you? Ceased caring about my bi-weekly deadline and deserted my fans and my story, right when people when people were starting to get shitty with each other?

Never, dear reader, never! Never would I toy with you in such a manner, thinking you exist merely satisfy my narcissistic and deeply self-obsessed sense of humor (though that is a large part of it). Did you think I would take you this far, to have GWAR standing on the edge of the beginning of our soon-to-be semi-success, just to snatch it away from you? Much like the way VCU has snatched barstool bragging rights from the likes of the entire nation until the end of time. In fact I even got on and babbled about it…check it out.

I would never do something like that. This is an amazing story you people have supported for time eternal (what, the column has been going on for what, 20-30 years now?) We saw men die on the moon, hell, we saw women. We saw the birth, and death…and birth again, and again and again and a whole bunch of other shit…of the inter-web-net. Almost as epic as the story about the The Blood Vomits! What? You never heard about the Blood Vomits? Well, you have truly been missing out. Catch up with these medieval morons here.

O.k., all caught up? Good. because I only have a couple more things to do before we get into this episode. Like this. And this!!!

O.K., we are finally done. Nows it’s time for….

GWAR, Me, and the On-rushing Grip of Death: Episode 37

In two weeks, that is! APRIL FOOLS!

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Dave Brockie

Notice: Comments that are not conducive to an interesting and thoughtful conversation may be removed at the editor’s discretion.

  1. scroda moon on said:

    Actually, this is a pretty good installment, Dave, and personally, I’d like to see more updates like this one, because it’s not like you’re going to tell the truth in the long-run, which you’ve blatantly admitted in the past. You’re never going to be honest about how shitty you and Don treated Hunter or how others got fed up and quit for similar reasons. All the future updates are going to be April Fool’s jokes, too, at least this one deserves a little credit for being legit.

  2. Julie on said:

    You are such an ass.



    I need to make it to GBQ and bring a giant jelly dong to smack you upside the head with. Just on principle.

  3. Your April’s fool prank made my asshole vomit blood with rage! Good one Brockie!

  4. Licksore17 on said:

    Aaaawwwhhh!!!! But–what…I-…………shit! Well….atleast the picture made me have a good laugh, I do look forward to your random scrawligs. For now, well played brockie, well played….

  5. JOE DONDERO on said:


  6. muddied_desire on said:

    ha! good one!

  7. scroda moon killer on said:

    scroda moon you suck get off hunner’s nut sack move outta your mons basement, and get a job. Is that it? did your mother stop putting food in your dog bowl? hunner left, and it was his choice he was a selfish piece of shit, that didn’t want to give other artist credit for their hard work? no hunner created GWAR and evrything in it BULLSHIT hunner’s a lame redneck who lies and stole equiptment and other items belonging to sla pit inc. Slave Pit Incorparated not hunner trademark, idiot. Do you even know what the word incorparated means? or do they teach that in the podunk hick town you live in you inbread fuck!

  8. Outsider944 on said:

    GWAR is an ever changing cast of characters. From the couch filled daze of Death Piggy reading comics and smoking alot one frame stays in whats left of my mind “Gay Women Against Rape” then and now “God What Awful Racket”. If one person is to finger print GWAR it has to be Dave Brockie. there are many other players in the GWAR game that are equally committed and no disrespect is intented. Brockie is living the dream no matter how nightmarish it gets every day. Very few artist are insane enough for that level of love and hate. Like a fine wine Brockie gets better with time then turns to vinegar.

  9. natas on said:

    What happened to part 36? Or is that part of the April Fools thing too?

  10. Julie on said:

    No, that is just Dave not knowing how to count. ;)

  11. Bohab 1677 on said:

    Would there be a GWAR without Dave?

  12. Julie on said:

    Maybe. But I for one wouldn’t be one tenth as interested in any such thing, as I am with the GWAR I know and love.

    BDF just randomly came on my Zune. Nice.

  13. Alan on said:

    You are a complete dick. It is almost worth the drive to show up and punch you in the taint.

  14. Get to bloggin a- hole

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