Mom Kindness 101

Mother’s Day is the queen of all kindness opportunities — the big enchilada if you will. It is more than a Hallmark card scheme or the busiest restaurant day of the year, it is your chance to let her know she is indeed a positive force in your life, you know, since she gave you life or chose you for her own and all.

May 5, 2011; 12:00 PM • by Patience Salgado

Mother’s Day is the queen of all kindness opportunities — the big enchilada if you will. It is more than a Hallmark card scheme or the busiest restaurant day of the year, it is your chance to let her know she is indeed a positive force in your life, you know, since she gave you life or chose you for her own and all. And besides all that, kindness is some pretty powerful stuff, guaranteed to melt her.

Ask her what she wants

It’s totally OK to ask your mom what she might want for Mother’s Day. Depending on her level of Mom Martyrdom (we all have just a touch) she may just tell you exactly what she wants. If she gives you a “Just your love honey!” answer, you may have to switch it up and get tricky trickster with her. Ask her what the perfect Mother’s Day looks like beginning to end, morning to night. And, if your mother ASKS for a vacuum, she probably really wants it, if she doesn’t ask, it’s a bad idea — trust me!

It doesn’t have to be big, but it should be thoughtful

It is the thought that counts, but the THOUGHT part is most capital. Don’t half ass it if you don’t have the funds. Take the time to make a homemade card or pick wildflowers. A grown dude coming home with wildflowers he picked from a field for his mother will become a legend among mothers (and chicks). Mothers also have a built-in BS meter, even if we don’t always want to admit it, so make it genuine and real.

Do something for someone else

This is a lovely extra for mother’s day, the icing on the cake. Sometimes it means more to know your kids are being agents of kindness in the world, carrying on what you have offered them in their lives. It is pretty much every mother’s hope that their kids will be awesome human beings and kind members of society. Do a kind act in her honor or reach out to a sibling to come up with an idea- now that is the triple word score! Take a gift or drop in on someone older she has been bugging you to visit, go mow a lawn, take the grandkids with you, all of it will be meaningful to her.

Tell her what she has done

When you are in the thick of parenting or even beyond it, it is hard to remember that you’re actually helping someone grow into a person. It is good to be reminded in some form – card, blog post, video, anything that you can return to over and over again. Write down five things you have learned — things you know she wanted you to know about life that she intentionally or unintentionally taught you. She needs to know what she does matters.

Give her a wish or blessing.

So, believe it or not, your mom is actually a person. I know, shocking. She probably has her own dreams, adventures, hopes, and ideas swirling around in her head. It might be something she is working hard at or something you don’t even know about, but Mother’s Day is a perfect time to call it out. Make just one wish or blessing for her, write it down and hide it somewhere in her house for her to find. Discover your inner guerrilla kindness superpower and hide 20 if this calls to you. They can be simple: “I hope this is the year you get to go back to school, mom,” “May this year be full of crazy mad giant tomatoes in your garden,” “Mom, may this year you discover a new part of yourself, just waiting to be seen,” or “May a big traveling adventure unfold for you.” Whatever it is, it is kindness to see all the parts of your mom, not just the mom person.

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Do 1 of these ideas: You are well on your way to getting the kindness badge. It’s super cute by the way.

Do 2 of these ideas: It’s safe to say you have the kindness high, and will now be hooked.

Do 3- 4 of these ideas: Your mom will be beaming; she will be an old lady repeating stories of fabulous mother’s day past. She will totally forget all the things you broke over the years.

Do all 5 of these ideas: All the other mothers secretly hate your mother, and wish their kids were as awesome. No, for real, you know or are learning how to love and be loved well.

May 5, 2011 12:00 PM 0