A true account of the life-changing magic of tidying up
A photo essay about how the Konmari method is more than an organizational strategy that encourages you to come face to face with your own things, but a philosophy that can truly cure what ails you.
Original — April 27, 2015
What follows is the journey of Sarah Fought–lovable, thoughtful, former borderline-hoarder–as she discovered how to change her life through the KonMari method. If you’re unfamiliar, take a second to read up on it–or don’t. Sarah will explain the principles. And trust us, here at RVANews, we are believers. KonMari forever!
Do you remember how Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood started each episode?
“It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood,” Fred Rogers would sing as he walked through the door. He followed the most predictable yet delightful routine. First, he would swap his dress coat for a cardigan that he zipped up over his tie, all the while, still singing. Then, he would sit on a bench and playfully swap his work shoes for his sneaks as he ended his song with, “Won’t you be my neighbor?” He smiled at us through that TV, and we knew that he meant it. He was a happy man.
Without fail and, I believe, intentionally on his part, he modeled these joyful rituals over and over again for children of my generation because ultimately, living within the repeating rhythms of the natural world allows children and all human beings to thrive.
KonMari feels like the intro to Mister Rogers.
KonMari also feels like gardening, I imagine.
KonMari is the taking care of beloved things.
To me, KonMari feels like summer camp. There are still the necessary routines, responsibilities and expectations of life but most of the time is time to play.
KonMari is where you get to be yourself.
KonMari is Cheers.
KonMari is the good life.
KonMari is vacation mode.
KonMari is letting go.
KonMari is breathing easy.
KonMari is becoming present.
KonMari is a meditation.
KonMari is forgiveness.
KonMari is bonsai.
If these don’t sound like things that you want in your life, you probably don’t need to keep reading. But, if your heart is telling you that your day-to-day craves simplicity and honesty, trust me when I say that just a few months ago, never in my wildest of wild dreams would I have imagined anyone asking me to share advice about tidying, except for maybe contribution to an article about what not to do. But, here I am, able to share my story of spending time over the last three months of my life, coming face to face with every single thing that I owned.
The first day of KonMari is for the clothing, shoes, and bags category. Take everything out and put it all in a pile on the ground. This visual information is daunting. Coming face to face with my own excess was in moments troubling. It made letting things go easier, though. To begin, give a shout out to the house itself and start deciding if things spark joy, or not.
My own little life museum
One of my favorite childhood books, Mooch the Messy, was about a rat who loved his messy life. All my life I have been labeled, rightly so, as the messy one. Chores were such a bore and a waste of time to me–I would rather be doing a million other, more awesome things. I liked my messy ways just fine.
Since moving to our little brick rancher on the South Side of Richmond in a sleepy old neighborhood tucked between a golf course and the James River Park System, I have viewed my home as a constant work in progress. There was too much stuff for our space and the storage areas were filled up so much so that it was difficult to walk into them. There were stashes of clothes that didn’t fit, food we wouldn’t eat, teenage photos of myself that I felt ashamed of sharing, random wires without homes, art supplies I hadn’t touched since college, bins, boxes and trunks full of tax files, journals of angst with lots of childhood ephemera thrown in.
I had compiled my own little life museum. But, why? Why move these things from city to city, boyfriend to boyfriend to husband, job to job, and life to life?
In the words of Sturgill Simpson, “Just let go.”
My husband, Rickey, has been helping me with these memory-hoarding tendencies for a while now, since we first met, really. We have moved together three times, and he’s cleverly treated each move as a strategic time to talk me out of some of my attachments. He’s good at leaving the past in the past and he already knew just how great it feels when you discard something that no longer serves a purpose. He has been on this path for many years. He is one of the great teachers of my life.
Storage is a huge part of the KonMari method. There are instructions for how to fold and hang clothing as well as store in dressers and closets. My clothes have stayed pretty much just like this since mid-January. Every single item must have a place to live. The shoes live in their apartments. Some have roommates, some live alone.
He urged me to allow empty space when we first bought our home but instead, I did the opposite. I took over closets, sheds, dressers, cars, porches and utility rooms. There was no hideaway from Mooch the Messy. If there was space, I was likely to fill it.
I’ve apologized a trillion times since I started the KonMari method. He, of course, always accepted and loved me just as I am, anyhow.
“I’m gonna love you til the wheels come off.” –Tom Waits
Everybody needs a hideaway. Everyone needs to spend some time with themselves, breathing, and just being surrounded by the beauty they love.
I can tell that Rickey is amazed, relieved, and happy that I have turned this new leaf over. I’m still Mooch the Messy deep down but with far less things to manage, even Mooch can find her keys, these days.
Three months later, things are still leaving our home.
Cleaning and maintaining my house used to feel arduous and I often left tasks unfinished. Dishes would stay piled on counters for days. I would spread projects across the dining room table all week long. We lived like nomads in our own space. I have moved my messes from room to room and from house to house since I can remember.
My filing cabinet, pre-KonMari. After clothing comes books and then papers. Papers never really spark joy, so Kondo says throw them away. You can always look things up online later. Keep only the absolute necessary documents and store those in plastic sheets in a binder. So, this is what I did. Finally, permission to remove papers from my life. I am not an admin person and I have struggled so much to keep my documents organized, as you can see.
Now I can clearly see that mine was, in many ways, a life out of balance, and I had no idea how to ever actually make a change. I didn’t believe that it was in my nature. I had resigned myself to a life of clutter and disarray. I was Mooch the Messy, incarnate.
Enter Marie Kondo and the KonMari method
Little did I know, one Saturday morning lounging with coffee on the couch in my pajamas looking at my social media stuff that my life was about to change, forever. I clicked a link to an excerpt on Slate from Marie Kondo’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.
Immediately after reading, I downloaded the book to my kindle and devoured it by late afternoon. I was so moved by the KonMari way that I resolved to begin my first category bright and early that next morning and get er’ done.
I don’t even miss any of these things. I do not feel regret at letting these things go on to their next lives. They want to spark joy, elsewhere. They do not want to gather dust in the attic or become a burden. The lightness that I experienced after dropping off that post-yard-sale load of stuff is hard to recount in words. When I arrived home, I knew that my real task wasn’t only to let go of things but to allow the people of my past to go as well.
I felt compelled to start the process as soon as I understood the method and have continued to feel compelled all along, as though I am participating in a sacred rite of passage, being moved by unseen forces. There is a spirituality present during the KonMari experience, if you want there to be.
Somehow, I know that I will find homes for each and every thing that I own, and I always knew that I would from the start. The things themselves will tell me where they want and need to go. It’s sort of like going into labor and knowing that the best way to get there is to accept it and go through it. Once the baby is born, the real fun can begin!
KonMari is a birthing.
The den is not a disaster, these days. This room is the coziest one. Flags live in here, together. Family photos go in here. Owls, fish, patterns on fabric, fires and lamplight are here. Another amazing concept that I discovered during this KonMari phase of life is that of Hygge. The Scandinavian people use this word to describe the feeling of watching the snow fall out the windows, snuggled in warm blankets, drinking a hot chocolate. I am a summer girl, and so Hygge is helping me to understand that there is a season for all things. Winter is a time for writing, reflection, for family and coziness. Making the everyday, special, even if that day is freezing cold.
Marie Kondo claims that if you feel that this book was written just for you, then you are correct and that fate has brought you to this book. I believe that remarkable statement to be absolutely true.
Loose change is gathered in one place and then it needs to be spent or it needs to head to the bank. KonMari initially made me some money between my yard sale and my coin collection.
I needed a reminder that I am already the person I was hoping to become. If we focus on joy, we keep the best of ourselves and let the other parts go. We forgive ourselves and we forgive others. We edit our past by the gentle carving away of the hurt parts and leaving only the happy memories to be what we think upon and nurture.
“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” – Tom Robbins
Kondo guides us through our attachments to the objects of our lives and her path is absolute perfection. It is simple, healing and empowering. It promotes self-efficacy and mindfulness. It relies on gut feeling rather than arbitrary rules. Her method stays the same for everyone but the results vary greatly from person to person.
To each his own.
I have had a postcard collection since I was two years old. As I started entering the sentimental categories, I realized that some things still sparked joy and some things sparked sadness and regret and had to leave my life as soon as possible. The postcards get to stay. I love them still. I store them in two wooden wine boxes and visiting friends help me to curate shows for the postcard gallery I added to my house. Just this morning, a friend and fellow KonMarier, sent me a message that she found a postcard rack at a rummage sale. This is KonMari magic. The answers will present themselves at the right time. All that was released, comes back in a new way.
— ∮∮∮ —
Release me, past. I release you.
KonMari is super simple. Focus only on what to keep rather than what to discard. Ask yourself the same question for every single thing that you own as you hold each item in your hands. Sort through things by specific categories following a very specific order.
Does this spark joy?
Ask that very same question over and over and over again. Then, feel the magic unfurl. Let the healing begin and let every other non-joy-sparking thing go away.
Give gratitude for the purpose served and the time spent together. Wish them each well on their journey to the next person and/or place and remove them from your home as soon as possible.
I literally hugged a sweatshirt goodbye that first day. I hugged my sweatshirt because I needed to hug my past self and finally say goodbye to her. She is already long gone. Let her go. She grew up. She found true love. She found motherhood, she found mindfulness. She is me, now.
I have made mistakes. I have hurt people. I am asking for forgiveness. There have been times that I was terribly careless with the hearts of people that I used to know. I am sorry, friends and lovers. I loved you so imperfectly.
After the yard sale, I had a completely empty room. This room is the breathing room now. It is a place for dancing, singing, reading, rolling, meditating, looking at art, listening to the birds sing in the morning and for plants to live. It feels like a sacred room. I burn candles and I hang art here. I give myself time to just breathe, here.
The second stage is to store things together by categories and give every single joy-sparking thing that you love a special place to call home. But, finish discarding first.
It’s easier than you may think.
It feels so good to do it. I felt as if I could breathe easier. I felt like a weight was lifted off of me.
KonMari feels like a ceremony and a celebration.
KonMari is an act of love.
It does take lots of time and patience and gumption, like most good things.
Tidy up once, perfectly and you will never have to do it again, Marie Kondo promised. I started this process three months ago and I am proof that she is the real deal. She is a hero of mine. She freed me from the traveling life museum I had built around me, trapping me in.
Nothing wants to sit in an old box filled to the brim, in a too hot or too cold attic for 20 years and never even be held by a person or used for any intended purpose or even re-purposed. Our things want to be of use to us and if they aren’t useful or at the very least, attractive, they are taking up space and adding untold sums of mental weight. They want to be freed from the life museum prison. They want at least a chance to have another go at making someone happy. Let them go!
Too many coolers. Too many of a lot of things.We saved three of these, small, medium and large.
“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”- William Morris
The magic is what happens when we trust in this method and really, truly say goodbye for good to physical things as well as emotional things. We have to hug goodbye to our old selves if we want our current selves to be free in each new moment.
I ended up ceremoniously burning most of my journals that had been traveling around with me for a decade or so. Once I sat down to look through them, I realized within a few moments that most of the writing wasn’t happy. I used to write to work out my feelings and I guess I still do, except now, I feel very differently. I feel a lot better. I want to keep it that way.
This is Rickey’s bonsai tree. He had been loving on this thing since I’ve known him. It started as a cutting from a much larger tree that he let go a few years ago. He is a nurturer of life. It lives here, above the fridge.
Once I began to release things, the energy was transformed and renewed. Space was created for other things to come into my life. The me that I have been made a way for the person that I am now. I have learned and grown from those past mistakes and regrets. What more is there to do? This is the human experience. Our failures of the past make us the humans that we are. Live a little and then live some more.
The inside of the closet is a place for the secret treasures of your heart. Things that spark joy, but maybe only for you. I made another collage of some of the paper things I have held onto. Photos, cards, magazine pages and pieces of art live in here. Every time I open my closet, I feel so happy. This will change, too. Every room and space lives in constant flow. Does it spark joy? If it no longer does, it leaves. Things come and other things go. Change is the nature of things.
I am finding balance and alignment for the first time in my thirty five years and what it took was finally and permanently letting go of a whole lot of my own stuff.
KonMari is like sailing. It feels wild and free yet calm, steady and deliberate. It’s like kayaking, too.
KonMari is like running a river.
This is my memory jar. I tore and cut out things I found in my journals, sketchbooks, old cards, letters and school papers. This is a jar of my happiest documented memories.
KonMari is a joyful path through the layers of living that have built up and obscured the endless possibilities that dwell only in the present moment.
Some of the moments of the past year have brought me to my knees. We lost some of our very dear friends. One of these losses was sudden, unexpected and it still hurts, sometimes. It sent me spinning for a while. I spun out into some unexpected places.
It is fun to place all the things you love together and to find them the perfect places to call home. I made a dream catcher for my earrings and sunglasses to hang from. I let my son choose my earrings each day. It’s been a wonderfully fun addition to my morning routine.
The biggest lesson that I have learned is that we are not so much afraid to let the stuff go. We are afraid to let the people go. There is something that causes us suffering in this life and that thing is attachment. The only way to ease suffering is to contemplate impermanence. Change is the nature of things. The only way to end suffering is to be present in the moment.
“Imagine all the people, living for today.”– John Lennon
Bukowski has a poem called “The Laughing Heart” with this line that has been my mantra for many years now. KonMari allowed me to embody this statement by taking responsibility for my choices and by working my way through the remnants of the remnants of the life I’ve already lived. “The Gods will offer you chances, know them, take them,” he says.
I held a yard sale at the end of that first week of KonMaring. I discarded at least half of my belongings, maybe more. At the end of the day, once I dropped my second truck load off at the Love of Jesus Thrift on Midlothian Turnpike, I felt euphoric. I did have a fat stack of cash in my pocket but even if I had just held a yard free, I would have still felt this lightness of being.
You have to do this process as quickly as you can. I got lucky and had a string of snow days at home when I was in the thick of discarding. I moved through my home with a swiftness, I built momentum. Each catergory was easier so that by the time I arrived to the final one, sentimental things, I was a graduate of letting go university. I was methodical. I followed the exact path Kondo lead me down. She was my teacher.
KonMari is like pulling off a band aid.
KonMari is a tornado that loves you.
My studio is still a room in progress. I have a writing desk and a wooden drafting table, given to me by one of my life mentors and teachers, Dr. Pam Taylor. I have known some beautiful people in this life and having their things in my day to day life, gives me love. This is my own sacred space to meditate, to read, to write, to paint, to sew, to make things that spark joy for others.
Since that first day in January, I have documented and shared almost every step of my KonMari journey through photos and captions on instagram and through writing on my website.
I could not keep to myself what was happening in my heart and in my home each time I took on another category. With each decision made to keep or discard, I took another step toward embracing the sacred mystery of this life I have been given.
“Instructions for living a life: Pay attention, be astonished, tell about it.” – Mary Oliver
My KonMari journey is almost complete. Things are still finding their homes. The last few items that can’t find a suitable place to live or a purpose here, are destined for the door. It becomes very clear that if you can’t find a place for something in your life, then you no longer have room for it.
Those things that hold memories of those loved and lost now have a home in a shrine, above the top shelves of the cabinets in our laundry room. Every thing finds it’s way home in KonMari.
Storage is not the answer, letting go is.
I don’t know if this book is for everyone or not but it was meant for me. If life feels out of balance, even a little bit, then this book may be meant for you, too.
This is a collage of all of my collages over the years. My plan is to keep this as a work in progress on my wall. As I find other images that speak to me, I can cover up old ones that are losing their hold on me. I have a tropical dream.
The daily routines, rhythms, and rituals I am currently building for my life allow time for the freedom to follow some of Thoreau’s advice and “go confidently in the direction of my dreams,” to live a life only I can imagine for myself.
“How we spend our days, is of course, how we spend our lives.” – Annie Dillard.
Marie Kondo says that when you get home, greet your house itself. Say hello and give thanks. You will feel the home respond and it will feel like a breeze passing through. When we walk through our home, now, we do feel this way. We love our home and our home loves us. I think we were destined for each other. I have set myself on the task of clearing out the back reaches of the attic, that were filled with things of the past, the past owners and past lives of this home. Our homes should be a power spot. Our homes should feel like sacred places, not storage facilities.
I have embraced the truth that it is within my ability to change my own mind. I can choose a life lived through mindfulness and I can literally change the way my brain works, going forward. I will take time to breathe and be. I will be joyful. I will seek awe. I will be grateful.
“So, please use your life well. It truly is like having a bucket of gold dust with a little hole in the bottom.” – Dr. Dan Perdue
I don’t want to waste the treasure of this life. I want to savor the moments of this gold dust life. I want my life to shine.
The way is compassion, please hear me.
Thank you, Marie Kondo.
-
Recommend this
on Facebook -
Report an error
-
Subscribe to our
Weekly Digest
Sarah Fought
Sarah Fought was born in the same state as Bruce Springsteen but has spent all but the first two years of her life living south of the Mason-Dixon line. She practices being in each moment, fully present.
Notice: Comments that are not conducive to an interesting and thoughtful conversation may be removed at the editor’s discretion.
I have accumulated more things than what I really need and the idea of weeding through it all is overwhelming at best. This sounds like a pretty good method that might work for me. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.
Sarah, I saw the title of this article and immediately thought of you. How fantastic that you are the author! I agree with you, the Konmari method is a spectacular way to rid yourself of items you are done with but just do not know how to let go of.
I saw this heading and thought “I need to send this to Sarah!” Ha! I get very sentimentally attached to too many things. This will be so good for me. Way to go on your accomplishments lady!! (Both in doing the KonMari-ing AND writing this article!)
I am so grateful that I found this! I have a clutter issue and I’ve been so overwhelmed. I have downloaded the book and will start on this project immediately! Thanks!!!!!
If staying organized is this much of a boost for you, you might want to examine the rest of your life. I mean come on. How had us it to be neat? To cull the superfluous? To appreciate what matters? This “method” is making money, I’ll bet, at the expense of anyone who thinks s self help book will solve all their problems.
What an excellent testimonial to Konmari! I got started on it this winter but only got through the clothes purge before some major life changes require that we back burner it. This article makes me want to get back on the horse. 16 years ago, the first time my now-husband visited my apartment, he marveled “It’s like you built a museum to yourself.” And I have brought it all with me to this house. Most of it needs to go.
As the daughter of a hoarder who also housed a “museum of myself”, I can testify that not only is it hard to be neat and tidy – especially when you’re raising children – but it’s difficult to confront your stuff and decide you no longer need all this crap to anchor you. I have been slowly KonMari-ing for the past few months and it’s so freeing! I don’t need all these things that are weighing down my life. I don’t need all these ill-fitting clothes I keep around because I feel guilty for spending the money on them in the first place. I acknowledged the lesson they taught me and gave them all away. My closets are so happy now! And I can find things! I still have a long way to go but this method truly works.
Our guest Lisa above must lack empathy, and that does not spark joy.
Since reading your posts on Instagram, it is clear to me that not only are you an excellent teacher but that this method works for many people in many ways. I was excited when I realized I had caught your con Mari bug in my own way. I have not read the book yet, but things are being released, emotions are becoming resolved, and order is the rule. It’s not just the tidying up of a place that nurtures you, it’s the tidying of my mind and my heart. I really appreciate what you’ve shared and our friendship.
I have read many articles about Marie Kondo and KonMari, and yours stands out among them. I would bet you could have enough material to write a successful book by expanding on the themes of your article. Congratulations on a nice piece of writing!
Thank you for this, Sarah. I just heard about Konmari today. Reading this, I feel like I got to live Konmari today, too, from the inside. What a beautiful experience, what a beautiful journey. Looking at my home and belongings differently. I realize I’ve been selective and sporadic about thanking my belongings for their service. Yes, my home is a shrine. My belongings serve in this shrine. Thank you to all. Thank you to you. And Konmari. Now it’s my turn… :-)
Sarah! I found you recently on IG as you were my adviser at school. I have enjoyed following along your path of Konmari as I do mine and it has been so real and inspirational. After reading this article I have no words, you described it so well and how amazing and freeing it feels to be able to let go. I want to shout it from the rooftops and let everyone know how helpful Konmari is. This was put together so well and I really enjoyed reading it.
I randomly came upon this book a few weeks ago. The Konmari Method has had a positive affect on me, just as it did for you. I loved your words about it and the process you have gone through. You described my journey too. Thank you!!!
Yes, yes, yes!! Thank you for this beautifully worded article. It says everything I’ve wanted to say about simple living but struggled to piece together. Living this way is freedom and joy inducing. I’m so glad we both found our way there. Xo.
Lisa should count herself to be among the lucky people who have dealt with abuse and other traumas that cause many people to literally build up walls of stuff around them to feel safe. Dysfunctional?? Yes, but often the only coping method many have. Unhealthy attachments to stuff are notoriously hard to break. If it was just that easy, it wouldn’t be a nationwide epidemic. So yes, it is hard. How self-centered to think because it’s not a problem for you, it shouldn’t be for anyone else.
hi Sarah,
Someone posted this in our DoulSpace Online Book Club where we are deeply studying Marie Kondo’s work as well.
You restarted me here, which was much needed. I’ve been stuck and you released me. Thank you so much for writing these words. I hope you will join our group! We could use another spirit like you!
Thank you,thank you,thank you from my heart to yours.i am in tears reading this,this will change my life and was what I trying to achieve but I needed guidance.this is exactly what I needed at
exactly right time.namaste xx
You can’t know how timely this article is for me. After 53 years of accumulating stuff that I thought I should pass on to my son, I have a). realized he doesn’t want it all, b) that’s ok and c) I will pick and choose only the most fabulous and meaningful, joyful items for him, rather than burden him with stuff he will probably just throw out anyhow. I am very looking forward to The Big Purge and Wallet-Stuffing Yardsale. Thanks for the incredible motivation. Fabulously written article.
When I first picked this book up, it was because it was on a shelf where it didn’t belong and I was taking it with me to put it back where it went (I swear!). When me and my kiddo got to the register, I still had the book in my hand and I went ahead and purchased it. It sat in my book case for a couple of months. Then last week I was looking for a book to read and this one jumped out at me, so I picked it up. OMG! I understand the sentiment of feeling like the book was written for you, because that is how I felt after I blew through the book in a couple of hours. I have read many organizing books over the years and nothing has stuck with me or even made me actually want to get started. I am starting on this journey this weekend and then I will see if my 13 year old is amenable to trying the journey for herself. We have accumulated so much STUFF over the years that our house feels weighed down and we feel weighed down (or at least I do). It’s going to take me longer than 3 months, but I am hoping, hoping, hoping that I get it done as quickly as possible. And, I feel that whenever my “click” point happens, then that will be the exact right time. Thank you for this article, it was a wonderful read :)
As a professional organizer and a member of NAPO and ICD I understand how difficult and life altering this must have been for you. I help people do this everyday. They have so much shame and confusion. I’m happy you did not beat yourself up but focused your happiness and the joy decluttering gave you.
Hi readers of this article! Sarah Fought here. Thank you from my heart of hearts for the kind words, everybody! I am so touched to know that through sharing my story in photos and by just telling my truth as it has played out, I can be of some service in this life. Please know that I am sending my love and encouragement to anyone embarking on the journey that is tidying up. Keep me updated on the interwebs of your progress! It has been so encouraging to see folks from all over the world posting beautiful photos of their happy joyful sock drawers and things heading out the door. #magicoftidyingup
Thank you sisters for these wonderfully moving and intriguing quotes. Thank you Sarah for your eloquence and authenticity and enthusiasm. I have just yesterday bought my very own house, where I will live with my 7 year old son, in the Australian country bush. Thank you each and all for inspiring me and guiding me at this critical time. I love you, and I can’t wait to read more! xoxo
This article was life for me. Thank you for sharing the Konmari method and your experience.
Great article! Anyone know where to find a similar tray as pictured here with the art stuff? I need a great way like that to organize my studio!
Sarah, your writing is exquisite. You’ve managed to re-interest me in the method, which I have resisted. Thank you.
Sarah I loved your post. I’m about halfway through the discarding phase and completely in love with my Konmari journey so far. The hardest part for me has been following the rule of not nagging others who would benefit from reading the book to read it. My parents are super-collectors and could benefit so much from the method, but I’m trying to heed Kondo’s advice and not push it on them. However, your essay was such a wonderful summary of the method (my mom always complains that she has no time to read due to, wait for it, household maintenance) and perhaps reading this might spark interest in the book for her. Thank you again for sharing your journey so far and best wishes as you continue!
also, I can’t help but wonder how your last name is pronounced. My name is Sara Doutt, and if yours rhymes it just might make my day ;).
thank you, sarah, for this lovely post. it is by far the most articulate and thoughtful piece i’ve seen on the #konmari method. as another person who has exerted enormous energy lugging my own enormous personal memory museum around with me across 4 continents, i also found your process moving and inspiring. i will still always keep far more books than most people, but aside from these, my journals and photographs, i’ve come to realize that most of this stuff isn’t really the repository of those memories and connections at all. it’s merely a trigger. i’ve finally realized that in letting so many of these objects go, i’m not losing those memories, i’m just shifting them into the memory palace of my mind. and instead of continuing to treat my home as a storage space, i love the way you invoked the idea of the home as a site of the quotidian sacred. thank you for sharing your process with us.
Thank you for your thorough article! Am working on my own stuff and with friends on de-cluttering and adore the KonMari method. Keep on truckin’! Karen (in Midlo!)
What a beautiful essay, Sarah! Your words rang so true to me as I read them, because I know the feeling of being a nomad in your own home, moving messes from one space to another. I also know just what you mean about the gentle patience of a spouse, and I know that my own husband has felt a sense of relief as I have started the initial discarding in our home using the KonMari method. We are moving into a new house at the end of the summer, and I want I to feel like a sacred space, where we can have room for new experiences and people to enter into our lives. Thank you for sharing your experience!
This is the best wrap up of the KonMari method I have read to date. If you have tidied up any of the categories of your life, you know the power of this process. What else could make me stand in my garage saying goodbye to a ceramic duck jam pot, a 24 year old wedding present? And as I’m crying over the jam pot, I know it’s because the givers of the gift are gone now, cut down too early by dementia. I’m crying in the garage saying goodbye to Mrs. Duck, and really I’m saying goodbye to the sweet couple who gave it to us, knowing I didn’t get to say goodbye to them. It wasn’t the duck I needed to keep, it was the memory of what they meant to me. That is the power of this book. It tidies up much more than your house.
In the Konmari method when do you vacuum, dust, do dishes etc? Does she address weekly or daily chores like cleaning the toilet?
Just this morning I was told about this book by a friend who was reading it and laughing as she said, “well, it sounds strange but you hold each item and decide if it brings you joy.” That actually sounded lovely to me as I am someone who has too many things that I have held on to as a way to “not forget” the life I’ve lived. However, it backfires because instead I feel burdened by it and overwhelmed by where to begin and how long it will take. After hearing about it this morning I had a chance to watch a you tube video from Marie herself and a couple of twenty-something’s who had the courage to record their progress. You article though, added the meat to the emotional part of the process and the fears I’ve had. Thank you so much. I’m going to the library to see if I can pick up the book and later today start on my clothes. How often do we actually think about what brings us joy? Beautifully written article to help get my feet wet.
I have been doing the Kon Mari method for about a month. Your pictures of your journey really speak to me. Every time I walk into my closet, I smile. I can find everything, every like thing is together. I have less wrinkles in my clothes. Putting away laundry is a snap because I know where they all go.
My only problem is that I must Kon Mari everything before I can put it away. So I have a messy house for now. Oh, and a hallway full of empty boxes, plastic cases, etc. I do not need to buy any more storage. I just ‘shop’ my hallway. Am loving it.
Sarah, thank you for your inspiring, peaceful, and eloquent writing. I am on my Konmari journey. I have gotten stuck on books. I have so many, maybe a thousand. I have let some go, but the vast majority are piled in my living room. I cannot walk in here! Your soft and thoughtful writing is giving me courage to move forward–letting the old me who bought so many books graduate and arrive in the sacred now and sacred here. Tomorrow will be a big day in my life–perhaps the biggest ever as I let go of grasping and clutching attached me…and graduate to just me now. You have given me a gift. This is the first comment I have ever made on a stranger’s site! I love your memory jar. Blessings. Priscilla
I’m almost done with the book and am finding it amazing. Sure, some of the things are too woo-woo new age-y for me (I’m not thanking my socks at the end of every day or talking to my house) but the decluttering parts are great. It clicked with me the moment I opened a cupboard and saw that I have five flower vases of various sizes. I use NONE of them; when I display flowers, I use a large old cream pitcher that belonged to my grandmother. It sparks joy and the cheap vases do not and never will.
Just lovely-poetic and insightful. Just started Konmari myself, and reading is this is just the inspiration I needed to push through. Thank you!
Hi Sarah, I’ve recently finished the kon Marie book and is ready to tackle my beyond hopes room. Right, it’s just my own room but it’s beyond hope, I have not a single foot space and pulling out all my clothes won’t even fit my single bed frame (no ground to use)! It will but will pile high to the ceiling. My question is, do we do the first process of choosing and discarding per category and finish all category of the eliminating process before moving on to the second process of organizing, starting with clothing. Or do we eliminate and organize per category before moving on to the next? I believe I don’t find this info in the book! Please help! U did a great job! Thanks :)
I haven’t read the Kon Mari book, but I found myself de cluttering a couple of years ago, after helping to clean out and sell the belongings of my mother in law, after she passed. She ‘only’ had a two bed, two bathroom condominium, but the amount of ‘stuff’ she had accumulated was incredible. It got me thinking about our home and I started tackling one closet, one room, one area of the basement at a time. It is so freeing to get rid of things you no longer need, wonderful to be able to walk into a previously cluttered space, and realize that the next move is going to be that much easier. And, in the unlikely event my husband and I have an accident or leave this world sooner than we expect, our family has less to deal with. And what we do leave behind is neatly organized! I am still working on this journey and there is more to do, but I feel daily joy when I search for something and it’s easy to locate and I love walking into a room or opening a closet and not feeling that dreadful thought that I need to clean up. Living a simple, tidy life is wonderful!
Laysee, a key focus of the book is to start with one category at a time and Konmari
suggests clothing should be first. If you can’t pull out all your clothing I suggest you start with a category such as shirts, pants, dresses, skirts or shoes. Finish a category and go to the next. I would also recommend you read the book again and either highlight or take notes of the key points to help you with your clutter. It’s tempting to skim the book, but you will miss important points. Good luck.
Reading a couple of comments in the article had me reflecting… The fact is life is long, I’ve lived various stages in life, some I’ll rember in more detail than others, however, no matter how many photos or momentoes I keep I will forget a lot of the details and individual events in my life, …. What-sparks-joy today is vitally important, a part of living in the Moment because the past is past, and some of it forgotten. This makes me sad and is difficult to accept, kondo suggests there only needs to be a one time big decluttering, but in reality life moves on and sooner or later the process needs repeating in order to live in a way that make sense… Perhaps there will be a revised edition of the book after mari has lived another decade or so.
This article was so well written and inspirational. I picked up the book at, of all places, a thrift store. (My friends have always said my parents picked me up at a garage sale because that’s what they did every weekend for entertainment). That was over this past summer, when I picked up the book. I have only gotten around to reading the table of contents so far. However, last week I was talking to friends from my running group who read the book and said it had been very helpful to them. Since this is a new year I am resolved to read the book this week and get started. This morning I read the article as it had been shared on Facebook by a friend. That just gave me the extra nudge. And yes, as I read it, there were more than a few tears. That is because everything rang so true to me. Especially the previous comment about crying in the garage over “Mrs. Duck”. I have a few of those momento as well. Well, I should go get started. There’s no time like the present. Good luck to everyone else. You can do it!
I just finished the book and started looking for comments about it. I felt it was for me too and could not put it down today amidst many other demands. Your story is a wonderful testimony and I look forward to starting. My only wish is that it will not take as many months as you and others have said but I guess it will be ok if it does.
How do you put your plates up on the wall like that? I love it!
Ok, sharing your experience really resonated with me. I have both of Marie Kondo’s books plus I have them on Audio for when I am in the car or running. I think that I believe that if I purchase all of her books, audio, etc. that some how it will just happen but that hasn’t been the case. If I just listen and read that I will somehow just start tidying. I did do the clothes but that was months ago and I got distracted with something and I already could do my clothes again. Did you create a vision or cut out pictures from magazines that you wanted your house to look like? That’s where I am. I feel like if I skip a step it won’t work (that’s a perfectionist or procrastination quality in me) Ugh! Anyway, I have read a lot of reviews and yours has really pushed me to do this. Thank you!
Thank you for this article, Sarah. It resonated so deeply within me that I cried the entire time I was reading it. I too, am a Marie Kondo convert and have been diligently discarding for the past several months. Bouts of discouragement and the demands of my children have distracted me from completing the process, but I found renewed inspiration in your article and for that I thank you.
I would be interested in hearing from a writer or academic who has used this method on his/her work papers. I find it so hard to “kill” ideas and resources. Ms. Kondo is clearly not inclined to the life of the mind and doesn’t address this issue. Also, did you do these papers with life papers or leave them to the end with sentimental items?
I’ve just finished Marie’s book and was looking for testimonials from real people. Yours spoke to my very soul. Thank you for your honesty and openness through your journey. While this method and mindset may not work for everyone, I know it will be good for me and I will be starting this afternoon! I can’t wait to experience the tangible and intangible results.
one of the best articles i have ever read!!!!!!!! merci! your journey is heartfelt as is your writing….it inspired joy to read it!! merci, merci