Richmond Proper: On letters of commendation
Why is it that we’re so quick to complain and so slow to compliment? The axiom “the squeaky wheel gets the grease” seems to give us permission to air our grievances at the slightest disappointment, yet we rarely air our joy when the system works well.
Why is it that we’re so quick to complain and so slow to compliment? The axiom “the squeaky wheel gets the grease” seems to give us permission to air our grievances at the slightest disappointment, yet we rarely air our joy when the system works well.
There are plenty of complaint-worthy scenarios during the average day, and many people believe that things won’t improve unless they speak up. Speaking up can be even better, though, when focused on the positive. As Peggy Post writes, “You can do your part to make things better by commending people who are particularly courteous and helpful. If a parking attendant charged your dead battery or a sales clerk went the extra mile to track down and order an out-of-stock item for you, write an appreciative letter to his employer. It’s been said that the courtesy bug is contagious, and a letter of praise or similar ‘official’ act may help it spread all the faster.”
A short letter of commendation should be easy for anyone to write. It can be just a few sentences, about the same length as a standard thank-you note. Introduce yourself briefly, describe the good deed, and relate your heartfelt thanks. Here are some examples of deserving targets:
- The server who always remembers your usual meal
- The record store clerk who helped you find a rare album
- The bartender who carefully cleaned up your broken cocktail glass
- The flight attendant who went above and beyond to help a disabled passenger
- The movie theater usher who removed the loud people before they ruined your movie
Promoting efficiency, kindness, and good etiquette sounds like an excellent task for my dear readers. Why not start by writing one letter of commendation this week, to someone in Richmond who went above and beyond for you? And while you’re at it, share some of your positive experiences in the comments below.
Have an etiquette question and need some advice? Email tess@rvanews.com.
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Tess Shebaylo
Tess Shebaylo is a freelance writer, crafter, history geek, and compulsive organizer. She works at Tumblr and lives in Church Hill with her daughter, Morella.
Notice: Comments that are not conducive to an interesting and thoughtful conversation may be removed at the editor’s discretion.
I once called the customer service hotline to commend a drive-thru person at Taco Bell at Libbie and Broad. She was so nice and such a good change from the previous person I had interacted with.
I wrote just such a letter a few weeks ago when my car battery died at Costco, and one of the employees helped me jump my car. It takes but a few moments to tell someone how much you appreciated their help, and it’s the sort of thing that gets put in employee files and helps people get merit increases at salary review time. Being nice is one of those tipping-point things that can be contagious. Pass it on!
I have another one I need to write a thank you note for…
Last Friday I went by Uptown Color to pick up the bulletins for our church service — standing order for the past two years. I had my very heavy toddler with me and was in the process of unbuckling him from his carseat as one of the employees passed me on the sidewalk. He told me to stay put and brought my order to out to me so I wouldn’t have to wrangle my kid out of the car, into the building, back out of the building, and back into the car. I appreciated it so much.
oh, I love this!!!! …and thanks for the very kind link love. One time I wrote a fast food company about this really, really nice drive-thru friend I made when I went through my too-much-sweet-tea phase. I was so freakin’ excited to see he had been promoted to manager the next time I drove through.
Good stuff, everyone! And thanks, Patience — you’re an inspiration!