Ahoy! Did you know that telephone inventor Alexander Graham Bell thought that’s what greetings over the phone should be. As it so happened, Thomas Edison suggested the more common “hello.” Knowledge. I’m FULL of it. Don’t know what’s going on this weekend? Guess what? I’ve got knowledge about that, too.
Guys, what do you think of my new girlfriend? She’s pretty great, right? Know how a tattooed heathen like myself won over the most beautiful and talented goal keeper in the whole wide world? Simple. I sang this song with an electric keyboard outside her bedroom window at midnight. We’ve been together ever since <3
Alas, the U.S. Women’s World Cup team is not the only soccer team kicking ass and taking names. Our very own Richmond Kickers are raising eyebrows because they’re kicking, um…well…you know…ASS! So being that we’re all on a sports high, it’s only fitting that we have some sports happening in town this weekend. And if professional sports ain’t yo’ thang, we have the new Harry Potter movie, a Grammy award-nominated saxophonists, and there’s also America’s most popular amateur sport: EATING!
Love horses? Check. Love ridiculous hats? Check. Love betting on horses (but not so much hat wear). DOUBLE CHECK. Well, you’re in luck, broseph. The 14th Annual Virginia Derby takes place on Saturday. Being that the weather is looking near-perfect, Colonial Downs is hoping to surpass the 10,000 attendee mark. Colonial Downs is also trying to rein in as many horse racing neophytes as possible to show them a good time. A $600,000 prize awaits the victor of the race, and there are plenty of non-racing entertainment and festivities to keep you entertained throughout this week’s biggest horse racing event in the country.
- Sat., July 16 • Parties start at 3pm, races begin at 5pm, and the Derby runs at 8pm
- Colonial Downs, 10515 Colonial Downs Parkway, New Kent VA, 23124
- $5 – $30
It’s typically appropriate to introduce a topic with an eloquent, poignant quote from a revered writer. The best I could come up with is a line of Rodney Dangerfield’s from Ladybugs, so here it goes.
Earlier this week the Richmond Kickers forced an upset in Kansas City, beating the Sporting KC. With the win, the Kickers are now the only non-MLS team currently playing in the U.S. Open Cup Tournament. The Kickers will next play the Chicago Fire on August 30th–what kind of mega long-ass tournament is this???? But this works in our favor, gang! The Kickers will be back in town this Saturday to take on Antigua Barracuda FC at City Stadium. Looks like the VCU Rams aren’t the only sports team that turns heads in this town.
- Sat., July 15 • 7pm
- Richmond City Stadium, 3201 Maplewood Ave
- $12 for adults; $7 for ages 3-17
3. “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2”
OK. I’m going to lay some truth out on the table for you all. I have not seen ONE Harry Potter movie, or read ONE Harry Potter book. Yep. Not a one! Crazy, right? Well, don’t be mistaken; I have no enmity for the famed fantasy series or for J.K. Rowling herself, I just haven’t seen or read one yet (be gentle, I’m a virgin). But, that’s all going to change. Imma go see the last movie without seeing the previous ones! Whacha think ‘bout dat?
Only kidding, y’all!
I may not have seen Daniel Radcliffe play the eponymous character of Rowling’s (cha-ching) series, or even seen the dude’s butt or dong, but I know you crazy youngsters go gaga for him, so you probably want to go see the grand finale sooner than later. We’ll also have photos from a local midnight premier on the sight for you for Friday.
- Opens Fri., July 15 • various times
- Oh, it’ll be only be playing in EVERY theater!
- Prices will vary
Hubba hubba. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is Dave Koz, saxamaphone player extrodinaire. He’s a Grammy-nominated
sex–uh, I mean SAX! worker who’s playing tomorrow as part of the on-going Fridays at Sunset series. This sexy and saxy animal has his own name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and performed on an episode of Desperate Housewives. Why don’t you get off your duff and go see someone with some talent!
It’s going to be great. Koz I said so. BING!
- Fri., July 15 • Doors open at 6:30pm
- Carpenter Center at Center Stage, 600 E. Grace St.
5. Carytown: Butchers, Bakers, and Beyond
If chocolate and sweets aren’t your thing, then maybe some meat is in order! Now, I can’t back that, being that I’m vegan and all–excuse me, I have a tickle in my throat–*cough* *meat is murder* *cough*. But I do back that Carytown has some really great culinary businesses. This Friday, you can come see culinary trendsetters such as Secco, Belmont Butchery, Carytown Cupcakes, Zeus Gallery Cafe, Bonvenu, Museum District B & B, Amour Wine Bistro and others in Carytown and the Museum District.
- Fri., July 15 • 2pm – 4:30pm
- Meet at Chop Suey Book, 2913 West Cary Street
- $39 plus a ticketing fee