5 Things

Let’s do a quick straw poll: who’s tired of hearing the phrase “debt ceiling?” Yeah. That’s what I thought. While politicians continue to debate the country’s debt like a bunch of 3 year-olds deprived of their afternoon nap, it is up to the common man to pursue his or her own happiness, with or without a AAA credit rating. Here’s 5 things to get you started.

July 28, 2011; 6:00 AM • by Nathan Cushing

Did you hear about the hubbub caused by Twitter’s #fuckyouwashington hashtag? Seems like Americans are growing a bit restless as politicians in Washington continue to act like…politicians. Even the President got a little hot under the collar as a result of stagnating negotiations on deficit reductions. I mean, everybody is getting tired of the political nitpicking. With so much tension going on, me thinks it’s a good idea to do things this weekend that won’t give us a frakkin’ aneurysm.

1. 22nd annual Big Brothers Big Sisters Duck Race

Pop quiz, hot shot: you’re given 20,000 little yellow rubber duckies, what do you do? Whuddya do!?! Put them them in the Canal and have a good time with ‘em, duh. This Saturday marks the Duck Race, an annual fundraiser that benefits Big Brothers Big Sisters. Thousands of rubber ducks will descend into the Canal on Brown’s Island and race for a variety of prizes…like a new car! Food and entertainment will also be on hand. Rubber Duckie, you’re the ONE!

• Sat., July 30 • 11am – 4pm
• Brown’s Island
• FREE

2. Bon Iver

No, it’s not pronounced “bone iver,” (get a little class ya’ Sasquatch!) but “bon e-vair.” One of the reasons to get excited about Bon Iver coming into town to support their latest album is that the band features local favorite (and sax trombone doctor extraordinaire) Reggie Pace from No BS! Brass Band fame. He’s played with the band on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and The Colbert Report. It’s a sort of home-coming. And also it’s going to be hot as hell, so air-conditioning ain’t so bad neither.

• Sat., July 30 • 9pm
• The National, 708 E. Broad,
• $32.50 + $6.75 fee = $39.25

3. 30¢ Kids’ Days at Children’s Museum of Richmond

Remember this guy? Will the Children’s Museum is going to do even better. As with every 30th day in the calendar month (as opposed to the deviant months not recognized by the Calendar Association–yeah, I’m looking at you, Dr. Pepperember!). All children who pass through the museum’s security checkpoint (kidding!) will only have to pay a measly 30¢. Yeah, that’s not a dollar sign I used, but a cents sign. This is an incredible deal, especially for all you octomoms out there. Keep an eye out for special entertainment and activities while you’re there, too.

• Sat., July 30 •
• Children’s Museum of Richmond, 2626 W. Broad St.
• Children are just 30¢, Adults pay regular price, $8

4. Richmond Famous

If you don’t follow Dirty Richmond you might be the first person ever waterboarded for bad taste. Brian McDaniel, the creator and curator of the best Richmond fashion blog, will be guest starring in the July production of the monthly Richmond Famous improv comedy show put on by the Richmond Comedy Coalition. If you suffer from a fear of laughter, this will be the perfect night to overcome your geliophobia.

• Fri., July 29 • Doors at 8pm
• Gallery5, 200 W. Marshall St.
• $7 ($4 w/ a valid student ID)

5. Dragon Boat Festival

I’m on a boat! Actually, I’m sitting at my desk pecking at my keyboard. But if I was on a boat, it’d be a dragon boat. Don’t know what a dragon boat is? Well…

They’re 40-foot human-powered canoes replete with Chinese dragon heads. A drummer at the end of the canoe rhythmically beats to get the 20 synchronized rowers and one steersperson down the 500m course. Seem kinda cool? Well, it is! So if you need a break from the political poppycock wafting in-and-out of Washington, what better way to spend a day than cheering on BADASS dragon boats?

• Sat., July 30 • 8am – 4pm
• Rockett’s Landing, 5000 Old Osborne Turnpike, Richmond, VA 23231
• FREE

July 28, 2011 6:00 AM 4