The best thing about minor league baseball is all the wacky promotions and giveaways, right? Sure, the opportunity to see future major league stars is cool, too. But anyway, we sifted through the Flying Squirrels’ schedule to find all the awesomest events this season. And we left out normal stuff, like fireworks, because lets face it, that’s the minor leagues. Oh, right.
Flying Squirrels fleece blanket giveaway
Saturday, April 9, vs. New Britain Rock Cats
Something to keep you warm in the fall if they make the playoffs.
Flying Squirrels cereal bowl giveaway
Sunday, April 10, vs. New Britain Rock Cats
The perfect companion for eating breakfast, wrapped in your Squirrels blanket, wondering what you’ve done with your life. What? No one else in grad school?
Legends of Wrestling with George “The Animal” Steele
Monday, April 11, vs. Bowie Baysox
Bet he’s as dreamy as ever!
High Five World Record Attempt
Thursday, April 21, vs. Altoona Curve
There will probably also be record-breaking usage of the word “dude.”
Giants World Series Trophy on display
Wednesday, April 27, vs. Trenton Thunder
Too bad Brian Wilson’s beard won’t be on display.
A Tribute to The King, featuring Little Elvis
Friday, May 6, vs. Altoona Curve
Not sure whether to be amazed or offended.
Legends of Wrestling with Mick Foley
Friday, May 14, vs. Harrisburg Senators
Hopefully Mr. Socko will make an appearance also, but we’re not sure if they’re on speaking terms.
Bark in the Park
Wednesday, May 18, vs. Bowie Baysox
Bring your dogs to the game! That poor cleanup crew.
Tribute to Bacon
Tuesday, May 24, vs. Erie Seawolves
No idea what this means, but everything’s better with bacon. By the by, what’s a seawolf?
Retro Celebrity Series with Erik Estrada
Wednesday, May 25, vs. Erie Seawolves
Think he’ll go topless?
Nutzy Head Foam Bat giveaway
Sunday, June 5, vs. Reading Phillies
In case the Phillies fans wanna be startin’ somethin’.
Retro Celebrity Series with Dennis Haskins
Wednesday, June 15, vs. Binghamton Mets
That’s right, homie. Mr. Belding.
Jimmy Buffett Night
Saturday, June 18, vs. Bowie Baysox
Again, not sure what this one means. Margaritas?
Halloween Mask giveaway
Friday, July 8, vs. Harrisburg Senators
It’s Halloween in July! Think that means there will also be scantily clad, drunk college girls at the game?
Saturday, July 9, vs. Harrisburg Senators
THIS IS WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT, FOLKS.
“What if?” Night with Rhinos hat giveaway
Friday, July 22, vs. Harrisburg Senators
Remember when they were selecting the name for the team? What if they had settled on “Rhinos”? What if there were no Richmond Flying Squirrels? Life would be meaningless, right? Well anyway, come get a Rhinos hat, wear it, and blow minds!
Nutzy Bobblehead giveaway
Wednesday, August 3, vs. New Hampshire Fisher Cats
If you don’t have a bobblehead for your local AA baseball team, the terrorists have already won.