Kickers vs. Battery and the Prediction Game of Awesome

Prior to every home game a panel of so-called experts will predict the outcome of the Richmond Kickers game. Each expert receives one point for each correct prediction. At the end of the season the winner gets a trophy and pack of gum.

August 28, 2015; 12:00 PM • by Richard Hayes

Saturday, the Richmond Kickers (9-6-9) are back in town and will battle the Charleston Battery (9-6-9). This game has major playoff implications as Richmond, Charleston, and New York are all tied for third place. To make it to the playoffs, teams must finish in sixth place or higher. Pittsburgh Riverhounds currently sit in the final playoff spot but are only four points behind the third place logjam.

The Kickers have won two in a row on the foot of Yudi Imura. Yudi is racking up points now because he is 100% healthy, fully integrated with the team, and settled into Richmond life. RTD had a great article earlier this week that is a must-read for any Kickers fan. Watch this video of Imura—it goes a long way in explaining why he so popular amongst the Kicker faithful.

Their records are the same but the Battery are in freefall and haven’t picked up a win in over a month. Their last success came against last-place Wilmington Hammerheads back on July 18th. Since then it’s been four losses and two draws. If ever a team was desperate for a win it would be this team. Look to Dane Kelly (#9), who leads the team with nine goals to drive their offense.

Official game preview is here, kickoff is at the usual 7:00 PM.

Apparently the Kickers’ ticket promotion crew went a little crazy for this game. Here is the list of ticket buying options:

BARK & BREW FEST – Dog-Friendly Craft Beer Festival bring your canine companion with $20 and you can get two tickets and two beer (or lemonade) tickets to over a dozen craft beers. No Fido doesn’t need a ticket and we’re waiting word on if there will be a FELINE & FETTUCCINE FEST (not a real thing).
OUTDOOR YOGA – Positive Energy and Pro Soccer combine to allow fans a yoga mat like no other, the field in City Stadium. The 45-minute session linking postures through breath and movement starts at 4:45 PM. $12 gets you centered and a ticket to the game.
CARYTOWN EXCLUSIVE OFFER – Because of the partnership between Carytown and the Richmond Kickers you can take advantage of the special $8 (regularly $12) priced ticket.

	Reasoning	Score
RVANews Soccer Guru	The yellow and black of Charleston remind me of bees. Just like bees, Charleston has gone missing. Unlike bees, the Battery don’t produce honey, so basically they are useless bees. Also when was the last time you saw a bee score a goal? When you do see them, they’re all, “Buzz, buzz, let me get in your soda can.” In this analogy, the Charleston Bees will not get in our soda can goal.	7
Red Army	Hey, does anyone remember what happened last time Charleston came to town late in the year? I think Deli still has the hopes and dreams of all Battery fans framed above his mantle. Battery are in freefall, and for as difficult as the last month has been, this is still a good team at home. I’ll go with a 3-1 win this time around.	8
Richmond Kickers	Oh the Battery. We meet again. This time things are different. You are coming off a loss. We are coming off a win. We want it more. The Kickers will prevail.	8
Total Soccer Show	Yudi Imura’s second-half performance and goal against St. Louis were worth the price of the ticket, and that was before his post-match victory dance with the Red Army’s Japanese flag. I’m predicting Imura will be too much for the Battery to handle, and the Kickers win 3-1.	8

RVANews Soccer Guru (Richard Hayes): All of Richard’s soccer knowledge comes from playing FIFA on the original Playstation and standing in bars, drinking, and yelling at the television. He also helps run RVA DCU and is a member of American Outlaws Richmond Chapter, which mainly involves drinking and yelling at televisions.

Red Army (Matt Myers) — Reigning Champion: Matt was sent off by Leigh Cowlishaw in a summer camp scrimmage as a pre-teen but has not held that against the team. He’s coming to grips with being a relatively old man now after seeing the youngsters in the Red Army and on the Kickers roster. He’s also attended way more matches than he should admit to, especially for having lived in Richmond a total of one out of the last 13 years.

Richmond Kickers (Kickeroo): The Kicker from down under. He doesn’t really like anyone who isn’t a fan of the Kickers. A daredevil who will pretty much try anything and everything but would rather not talk (on advice from the lawyers) about the incident with the scooter and the Flaming Hoop of Death, he’s also a sensitive marsupial who enjoys long walks on a dew-covered soccer field and watching the sun set behind the goal post. He also shares something with the new Kickers beer, Kick It Hunny hops.

Total Soccer Show (Daryl Grove): Daryl is English, so everything he says about footsoccerball naturally carries more weight because he says it in a British accent. He is also part of the excellent local radio show and podcast Total Soccer Show that keeps track of all soccer related things in an intelligent and fun way. If you’re not listening to the Total Soccer Show, you need to change that posthaste.