Happy Weekend, RVA: Wind chill, Winston

It will be warm on Sunday. Today will be miserable, but there is hope. Unfortunately, hope doesn’t make my teeth stop chattering, so I will be annoyed until I thaw out.

I know what you’re thinking, “I didn’t choose to settle in Virginia because I wanted my bones to freeze.” No! You settled in Virginia for the same reasons the rest of us did: its charmingly backwards politics!

Think about it: living here is like having free access to a history museum every day of the year! You’ve got Civil War battlefields just a rifle-throw away. Our capitol building was designed by an 18th century genius, old streetcar tracks remind us of our urban engineering feats back in the 19th century, and our policies–our beautiful policies–are perfectly preserved specimens dating all the way back to the Stone Age itself!

Where else in the country can you find such a rich assortment of historical artifacts–treasures like State Senator Emmett Hanger from Augusta, with his truly timeless proclamations.

“There are differences between men and women which are undeniable as far as natural law is concerned, so I don’t think our efforts should be within the Constitution to attempt to say that we’re all equal, because I think that we are equal, but in different ways. We should confine our work to statutes that make sure that we protect the uniqueness of genders at the same time that we afford equal opportunity.”

Hanger’s point of view reflects a time-honored tradition that stands up to capricious trends like “integration” and “human rights”–boldly asserting that “We’re not equal. I mean, we are, but we’re separate. We’re separate but equal.”

Separate but equal. It may not be popular in other states–states that discard our majestic patriarchal heritage as one would throw an empty pizza box out a car window–but these three words are what keeps Virginia proudly, defiantly behind the times.

Reasons to stay in bed

Reasons to get up

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Susan Howson

Susan Howson is managing editor for this very website. She writes THE BEST bios.

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