Forget about last week’s foolhardy and unacceptably arrogant statement about the weather.
Guys, I am so sorry. I totally brought this weather upon us. If you remember, my foolhardy and unacceptably arrogant statement from last weekend:
The groundhog. What an idiot. This weekend: 50s and 60s. Boom! Spring is nigh. Apparel translation: relief and workout gear.
Well, now it’s Antarctica up in this piece, and I’ve never felt guiltier. This weekend will be dang cold, and if you want to get dang colder, make correct predictions for a free Polar Plunge registration.
It’s been a good week for ol’ RVANews, if you ask me. We had a bunch of pieces that I enjoyed a ton: Stephanie Ganz’s 5 courses of so-called aphrodisiacs, Andrew Jenkins’s guide to bringing a date to an art museum, the soothing words of a relationship counselor, and the weird, weird stories that you tell us about your life.
What will we even do without Valentine’s Day to inspire our content? It would be cool to say “go on a tropical vacation and get off this godforsaken tundra once and for all,” but in fact, the site must go on, and the list of things we’re about to drop all over you next week is lengthy.
Reasons to stay in bed
- If you lie really, really still, you can conserve body heat. Also recommended: piling atop you a dog, cat, child, quilt, dirty laundry, clean laundry, the recycling, or any combination of the above.
- This woman and her doll makeovers is inspiring and also calming. Let her inspire-calm you into remembering what it was like when little children just played with little children’s things. Then feel your inspire-calm turn into an intense anxiety when you realize it’ll probably get worse.
- Read all about the Marvel reclaiming of Spider-Man and the people who might don the ol’ suit next. That’s probably not the right word, “reclaiming,” but I only even know about this because it excites every other person in my life. Substitute it with whatever comic book franchise empire word is appropriate: revitalize? Reimagine? Recycle, reduce, reuse?
Reasons to get up
- The only reason to get out of bed this frozen weekend is to drag yourself to a public place or a friend’s house and cheer for the Rams, who could really, really use a win right about now.. Otherwise, celebrate Valentine’s Day the way it was intended: under several sets of covers.
Photo by: Gregory “Slobirdr” Smith