It’s the evening of Thanksgiving. The plates are cleared, your dad is falling asleep on the couch, the fire is crackling in the fireplace. It’s the perfect night to curl up with a book and digest, dreaming happily of tomorrow’s leftovers. If you like being huge and lame, that is!
It’s the evening of Thanksgiving. The plates are cleared, your dad is falling asleep on the couch, the fire is crackling in the fireplace. It’s the perfect night to curl up with a book and digest, dreaming happily of tomorrow’s leftovers.
If you like being huge and lame, that is! The best way to counteract boring sleepiness is to get the hell out of Dodge! Announce to your family that you, in fact, will not be helping clean up, then break a few dishes on your way out the door, for good measure! Wake up your dad by shouting Kanye lyrics in his ear as you grab your keys and hit the road, rallying your friends and similarly bored siblings to meet you at the movie theater before living it up at the local watering hole.*
Here are my picks for your post-dinner entertainment:
James Franco is stuck in a crevice. No jokes, please, this is serious. He’s got a video camera, a little water, and a whole lot of courage. The hopeful tension will make sure you don’t nod off.
(West Tower, Regal Short Pump, Movieland, Virginia Center Commons)
Cher + Christina? This could be dangerous. Dangerously hot! Just kidding. Sick. I figure it could either be so horrible that it will give you lots of good joke material for the post-movie hangs, or it could be just kinda stupid with a lot of excellent dancing. I know this looks like a poor man’s, sexist Chicago, but I do like shiny things.
(Regal Short Pump, Movieland, Virginia Center Commons)
Oh, dang! You have kids that are old enough to realize you are foisting them off on their grandparents so that you can hang out! In their opportune fashion, Disney has come up with a plan. You take your kids to see this adorable Rapunzel retelling, you enjoy it in spite of yourself, THEN you foist them off. Everyone’s happy!**
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1
I mean, you’re going to see it anyway.
Love and Other Drugs
(West Tower, Movieland, Short Pump, Virginia Center Commons)
If there’s any left of this movie that the trailer didn’t show, and I’m not sure that there is, it might tug a heartstring or two. And yes, we’ve seen this “bad guy gets turned around by sassy chick” thing before, but never with Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway. If it starts to bore you, you can always focus on the weird Viagra aspect of it all. If I had a nickel for how many times I’ve said THAT!
What I’m saying is, I want to see you out and about this Thursday night. Foist those kids! Break those dishes! No lazy excuses, we have things to celebrate!
*It is so, so easy to get a cab, and so not embarrassing to have someone take you to get your car the next day. Be responsible and put a cab company’s number in your phone. Maybe even leave your keys with the bartender to remind yourself of your earlier conviction. Holiday driving is dangerous. Don’t be huge, lame, and a menace on the road.
**Except the grandparents.