Out of shape dad

I haven’t exercised regularly in a decade, and I feel conflicted about it. I don’t enjoy running or going to the gym; it’s boring. Like brushing my teeth, body maintenance is just something I know I should be doing, but I don’t really want to.

February 14, 2014; 7:47 AM • by Sam Davies

Last weekend, my house in Northside Richmond played host to a birthday party in honor of my oldest daughter turning seven. A horde of nine 5- to 8-year-olds descended upon our domicile to play with our LEGO, read our books, and eat our tribute of chocolate cupcakes.

Most of the party, I kept vigil over the de facto “boys’ room,”¹ but after the cupcakes, I led the party outside to run off the sugar. We played several tag-variants² and Sharks and Minnows. I discovered that, while I have more endurance than a 1st grader, the 2nd graders are too much for me. Within minutes, I was achy and winded and needed to sit down.

I haven’t exercised regularly in a decade, and I feel conflicted about it. I don’t enjoy running or going to the gym; it’s boring. Like brushing my teeth, body maintenance is just something I know I should be doing, but I don’t really want to.

I definitely don’t want to exercise to punish myself, but in the back of my mind is the guilt that I need to take better care of myself so that I don’t die and miss out on my kids growing up. Less morbidly, it would be nice if I could run around with my girls without getting tired well before they do.

I’m a computer guy. I love the feeling of reformatting a hard drive and starting fresh. It gives me a sense of control in a world of chaos. I know everything that’s installed. I know where everything is. I know that if things get out of control, I can just start over again.

But, there’s no way to reformat my body. I would love a chance to start over, to be able to maintain a fitness level and habit of exercise rather than having to climb out of a deep, deep hole. A third of my life so far, I haven’t exercised. My body wants to lie down all day and stare at screens–that’s what it is used to. Without a habit of exercise, it’s harder to exercise. Never exercising makes building a habit of exercise hard.

With tiny humans in the house scheduling is already difficult, so making room to build a new habit is also hard. I definitely have the clearance from my wife Kat to take what time I need for my health, but since I’m not in a habit and don’t have a regular schedule, (and don’t really want to do it) it falls off the schedule at the first sign of trouble.

I’d probably enjoy a group activity like basketball or ultimate, but it’s so hard to get over the hump. Most people who play group sports, well… play group sports. They aren’t going to need water after five minutes and there’s no reason they should have to slow their pace down for me. Being out of shape takes most of the fun out of playing, which makes building the habit that much harder. (If someone wants to start a pick-up game exclusively for out of shape people, let me know.)

My back is sore frequently, and I should probably do yoga, but I am afraid of yoga. I tried years ago, and here was the result each time:

1. Sam goes to yoga class. Tells instructor he is a total n00b.
2. Instructor starts class. Attempts to help Sam with his janky body.
3. Instructor realizes she can’t spend all of the class on Sam’s janky body.
4. Instructor gives up trying to help Sam.
5. Sam feels dejected, but understands that he cannot monopolize the instructor’s time.

This is typically the point in the column where I come up with an optimistic “I’ll try” conclusion, but I am still conflicted. Should I just accept that I’m an out of shape dad and be okay with that? Should I force myself into exercise until I brainwash myself into enjoying it? Should I build a modest habit of fitness that I do in spite of it being boring and no fun?

I don’t know what my plan is, but I will figure out a way to not feel bad about what I choose.

Photo by: W_Minshull

February 14, 2014 7:47 AM 19