Richmond Proper: On email etiquette

Though these points may be no-brainers for some of you, it’s always good to review the basics. And if we can eradicate an itchy Reply All finger in the meantime, victory is ours. Here are some simple tips for keeping your emails within the realm of sanity.

March 23, 2010; 6:00 AM • by Tess Shebaylo

“Polite electronic communication requires that you treat others as you would have them treat you, even when interacting through the cold gray light of a computer screen.”
— Peggy Post

Though these points may be no-brainers for some of you, it’s always good to review the basics. And if we can eradicate an itchy Reply All finger in the meantime, victory is ours.  Here are some simple tips for keeping your emails within the realm of sanity.

• Don’t use all caps as your default format. Because it LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE YELLING.
• Respond in a timely manner. “How fast should you respond? Within one to two days for personal messages and within twenty-four hours for business emails, depending on how pressing the matter is….If you check your email only once a week, let people know, lest they take offense at not receiving a timely response,” says Peggy Post.
• Use the Forward button and the Reply All button sparingly. The key here is to simply pause and consider whether forwarding or replying to all is really necessary. Judith Martin warns: “All right, hands off the Send button, everyone. There is the problem, right there: Send before Think. Not to mention Send before Spell Check.” Peggy Post agrees, saying “Some people enjoy receiving jokes and chain letters, while others would rather be spared. If you’re inclined to forward such iffy material, be sure your recipients are receptive. Check with them (via email, naturally!) before you make it a habit.”
• Know when to use CC and BCC. “Privacy is important. When you send group mailings, it’s likely that you are exposing everyone’s e-mail address. No big deal? Think again. Some people equate this with giving their home phone number to a telemarketer, so before you include someone in your group list, ask permission,” says Peggy Post.
• Be appropriate. Remember that work email is a public document. Technically your employer owns it and can gain access to it at any time. Keep this in mind when you’re typing up that lengthy diatribe about work situations! Peggy Post says “You have no control over where your message goes once you’ve hit Send; it can be saved and forwarded by any recipient who chooses to do so, and words have come back to hurt people, destroy friendships, and ruin careers.”
• Don’t use email to accomplish what only a face-to-face talk can. “There’s a reason people often need to discuss things face-to-face, and there are times when no substitute will do — whether you’re breaking up with your boyfriend or asking your boss for a raise,” says Peggy Post.
• Spelling and grammar still count. This is the internet age, and abbreviations are welcome. But nothing can be more unprofessional — or unfriendly — than forcing an email recipient to wade through sentences like “U r 2 kewt, wuz LOL at ur msg, c u @ mtg!” Current spelling and grammar conventions are there for a reason; use them to communicate quickly and efficiently with others.
• Use grace when dealing with the email blunders of others. “When someone you know is, as we delicately say, ‘not herself’ the polite reaction is not to notice (or, in cases where it is necessary to confiscate keys or visit emergency rooms, not to remember having noticed). If Miss Manners is not mistaken, your computer has a key designed for that purpose,” says Judith Martin.

If we keep these rules in mind, we can move away from the practice of abusing email and start getting the most out of it. Judith Martin sums this concept up best:

“People are always saying that without body language, one cannot convey emotional tone through mere words, even with the addition of tiny clusters of punctuation passing itself as signals. Doesn’t Miss Manners recall that we used to use writing before to say everything we had to say from a distance? And that it was thought to be more carefully written, and therefore clearer, than extemporized speech?”

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Tess Shebaylo

Tess Shebaylo is a freelance writer, crafter, history geek, and compulsive organizer. She works at Tumblr and lives in Church Hill with her daughter, Morella.

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March 23, 2010 6:00 AM 11