Raising Richmond: Kids and video games
The dads weigh in again (*cough*finally*cough) on an issue quite specific to this generation of parents: Yes or no to video games?
Editor’s note: Today’s feature is the newest installment of our parenting column written by two sets of Richmonders: Jorge and Patience Salgado (veteran parents of four gorgeous children), and Ross and Valerie Catrow (parenting rookies who have only been doing this “raising a child thing” for a little while). Check back fortnightly to watch them discuss/agree/disagree/throw down over all kinds of parenting issues, Richmond-related and beyond.
The dads weigh in again with today’s question: Do you (or will you) let your kids play video games?
The Salgados
I don’t think video games are good for kids. I don’t think they’re bad for kids either. Video games are fun, and just like anything else in life, they need to be done in moderation. I’ve never been a true video game geek, but my techie heart has always wanted the newest technology that was around. Commodore, Atari, Sega, and Nintendo… I’ve had them all. They usually were played for about a month before I moved on to other things. My boys… well, that’s a different story.
Josiah (our oldest) started on the family computer at a very early age. By the time he was two, he was clicking here and there on the toddler video games that I had bought and installed for him. My geek heart overjoyed at my little boy’s mastery of the computer. Jackson followed his brother’s steps and has become very proficient on the computer as well. Fast forward to today and (like many kids out there) these guys are a bit obsessed with their video games.
So how have we managed the obsession? Well for starters, there is no video game playing during the school week. NONE. The kids already come home with homework, then there’s dinner, baths, family time, and reading time. The very nature of our busy lives helps from them getting on their games. And once spring rolls around, we’ll be spending more time outdoors.
However, the weekends are a little tougher to manage. Everyone in the family is looking to decompress and relax after a long week, and we do let the kids blow off some steam by playing their games. And if you don’t know, a lot of the video games these days require a major time investment. Role playing games like Zelda are a prime example, and the kids can get sucked in and be on there for hours if we are not careful. So to balance the video games, we add “outdoor” time to make sure we all get out of the house. Books are also a must during the weekend, and art activities and Lego building help redirect the focus from video games.
I know some parents do not allow any type of video games, but, on the flip side, some claim it helps with motor skills and coordination. I just want our kids to have a balanced life. With moderation, letting them play video games is just one more part of our kids’ childhood.
The Catrows
My people, I have a long long history of playing the crap out of some video games. Prepare yourselves — what follows is a listing of every console I’ve owned in my (nearly) thirty years: Nintendo Entertainment System, Sega Genesis*, Nintendo 64, Nintendo Game Cube, Gameboy Advance, Gameboy Advance SP, PlayStation 2, XBOX, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii, Nintendo DS Lite**, and XBOX360. I also spent a good portion of my life playing PC games until I gave up on continually buying new video cards.
I’ve played all kinds of games: death-killer shoot ’em ups, terrifying horror adventures, rhythmic button mashers, unclassifiably weird experiments, and Grand Theft Auto***. And yeah, I may have killed a prostitute after banging her in Buick behind a building — because that’s just what you do in GTA.
So, as you might have guessed, I am terribly pro-video games for our son JR. Sharing one of my favorite hobbies with him is something I am really looking forward to. Of course, as with anything, I have a couple of responsibilities as a parent — even more so as the subject matter expert in our family. I will list these responsibilities with violent-behavior-inducing bullets:
- Know what your kids can handle
- Know what your kids are playing and understand the rating system
- Don’t freak out
Every kid is different and you/me as the parent are the only ones who can yadda yadda yadda etc. Now, there is no way I’ll let JR play a Grand Theft Auto game when he’s nine, but when he’s 16? Maybe? Basically this is my ultimate rule: if you feel like your young padawan can handle it, ahead full impulse.
But, you really really need to know about the content your kid is consuming. All video games have a handy rating system on the front of the box. The ratings, provided by the ESRB (Entertainment Software Rating Board), range from E (for everyone) to MA (mature). There is an AO (adults only) rating which you don’t see a lot of, if any — kind of like how an NC-17 rating for movies is almost nonexistent. The rating system is there to be a GUIDE for parents, not the the Ten Commandments handed down by God himself. Using the aforementioned knowledge of your child you should treat each game individually using YOUR INTELLECT.
A good example is The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess — the newest Zelda game for the Nintendo Wii. Twilight Princess has a “T” (teen) rating for “Animated Blood, Fantasy Violence.” I would totally let my (hypothetical) ten-year-old play this game. I’ve played it in its entirety, and what we’re talking about here is tantamount to swashbuckling. Picture Captain Jack Sparrow in a Robin Hood outfit, but instead of battling the lousy British, it’s, like, giant pigs.
But, all of the new Castlevania games are rated T — and these probably deserve it — for “Blood and Gore, Mild Language, Suggestive Themes, Violence.” Most iterations of Castlevania have the hero exploring an eerie (no seriously, Castlevania 2 freaked/s me the eff out) universe while staking vampires in the heart and using a whip to dispatch various ghouls. Definitely T-worthy stuff.
Like I said though, don’t freak out, overreact, and banish video games from your house. They’re just media — like books, movies, and TV. They aren’t innately bad, and a lot of times have actual artistic worth. Katamari Damacy is a great example of a game (rated E) that is like playing a piece of art. I’m not kidding, it’s wonderful.
It’s a lot of work, being a parent. Even a guy like me can’t be expected to know everything about every video game — but now, in the AGE OF INFORMATION, we’ve got a lot of resources. The best thing you can do when your child wants to play the newest Death Crusher Avengers game, aside from avoiding the typical main stream media overreaction to games and gamers, is to watch the trailers and gameplay footage. This will do two things, 1) the trailer will let you get a feel for how the game makers have decided to market their game and 2) the gameplay footage will show you what actually takes place in game. Both are useful in deciding if something is age appropriate.
If after ratings, trailers, and gameplay footage you still can’t decide you can always ask someone you trust that’s been playing video games their entire lives — I’m sure you know a few. Or you could just ask me!****
* Listen, I had a Sega Genesis and I AM OK WITH THAT. I know, SNES is the Zeus of all consoles, or whatever. I’m sorry, but SONIC!
** Nintendo really sticks it to you with those handhelds, don’t they? I’ve owned four Nintendo handhelds in my adult life. Sigh.
*** For some examples of these, off the top of my head, in order: Return to Castle Wolfenstein, Silent Hill 2, Frequency, and Warioware.
**** No seriously, ross@rvanews.com. I’d love to help.
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Notice: Comments that are not conducive to an interesting and thoughtful conversation may be removed at the editor’s discretion.
Let me just say that maybe I’m old. Atari2600 and Commodore64 and I was the only kid in school with all that in his room with my own phone line so I could rock my 300baud modem. I was a closet geek no one on my football or wrestling team would understand the word “Warez”. and why I ran my own BBS. Anyone remember the 8in floppy. and mail order 1000 for $39.99.
Anyway. our kids have the xbox360, Wii, DS and Nintendo Cube. and they rarely play any of it. WTF… Sure when they get a new game at Christmas they play for days. So we really haven’t had to put a limit on it yet. The weekdays from 4:00 – 5:00 is homework time. 5:00 – 7:00 is open (it’s not really 2 hrs – dinner is in the dining room no tv). 7:00 – 8:30 is no TV/Videogames. Weekends are spent outside mostly. But at night they watch TV, play games, videogames, etc..
Zelda is an action-adventure game, not a role-playing game. Just saying.
I would say let your kids enjoy the hell out of some video games if they want but don’t let it define them. If your child has no other real hobbies but video games and doesn’t aspire to do anything but play video games then there is a problem.
But then I’m not a parent so what do I know?
Action Adventure? Sure… I can live with that. What constitutes role-playing video game? Like i said… I am nowhere close to R’s video game knowledge… but i must know!!
The Wii is mostly forgotten at home…it’s the DSs that get all the attention. Computer games are also what they love to be on.
I am in the pro-game camp. In our house we have a Wii, DSi, PS3 and PSP. The DSi and Wii get the most play from the 6 yr old but never for more than an hour and the DSi only goes out of the house when on long trips. It was a life saver when traveling to the west coast. What I am annoyed with is the games that try to target girls and think that all girls want to do is shop, wear pretty dresses and put on makeup.
Don’t let your kids be video game fatties. Nobody likes fatties. But fatties that sit around playing games all day are the worst kind. Everything in moderation. Except NES Contra! That can be played in total excess.
My sons own xbox & playstation 2 – i regret buying xbox because there are not that many kid friendly games. I play WITH my sons all games we get – and before I buy or rent anything I approve it. My boys like the racing games and sports but other than that nothing much else tweeks their fancy. They know Halo and any other shooter games are off limits – matter fact i don’t even buy toy guns for them to play with.
But like most parents I prefer my boys to be outside – which they prefer as well riding bikes, skateboards, basketball etc.
i had em all SNES, NES, GENESIS, SEGA CD, COMMODORE 64, but video games aint what they used to be – it appears the developers are catering to more adult audiences and our kids are the unfortunate bystanders.
I think Jorge is right: “Video games are fun, and just like anything else in life, they need to be done in moderation.” I am a video game freak, but only for a little while at a time. I think video games to hone a lot of skills that help kids, not just with motor skills, but also with things like problem solving, managing a to-do list (what what Zelda!), etc.
When I was a kid the rule was that during daylight hours (when we could be outside playing), we weren’t allowed to play video games. At night, it was fair game as long as Dad wasn’t watching something (we only had one TV). We had fun with it but didn’t spend our whole lives hooked up to the tube.
And by the way Ross, I was terrified of Castlevania II when I got it for Christmas one year. Terrified in a good way.
I have no kids, but I can’t wait to play video games with them (or he / she / it) when I do.
LittleBigPlanet… Katamary Damaci… Rock Band / Guitar Hero… almost any Wii game are fantastic games that are “family friendly” AND multiplayer and thus fun for all.
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My biggest gripe these days is language in games. Modern Warfare (clearly not a kids game anyway) made it a point to not include blood but drop F bombs for no reason. Why say, “capture the objective” when you can say, “capture the effin objective!”
I feel like games are getting way too easy nowadays. When I was growing up, I played tons o’ Nintendo, but the games were so much harder and exhausted my brain so much that it became necessary to play outside in order to cope with all the intense problem solving I was putting my brain through. I mean Solstice still confuses the junkis out of me.
Here’s a pretty good explanation of a role playing video game:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Role-playing_video_game?wasRedirected=true
Videogames can be fantastic, amazing and as Ross mentioned absolutely beautiful. They can also take up my whole day or week before I know it. It’s important to control the gaming intake but with some thoughtful scheduling I can be productive throughout the week and still veg out with videogames.
Taylor’s right, videogames are not nearly as hard as they once were.
Older arcade games can be soooo hard! Gun.Smoke anyone?
I wasn’t allowed to own a video game console growing up, so at my very earliest opportunity with my own independent funds and apartments, I went nuts. Ditto: soda. So like, sometimes denying a thing is not a good way to do things. But then again, I’m still not into snack food or sweatpants because I wasn’t allowed those things either, so who knows.
At least with video games, you’re doing something and like Tess said, you’re learning skills! Whereas lying around glassy-eyed watching reality TV in which people constantly maintain that they’re not there to make friends — that’s gotta be the worst possible thing for a developing mind.
“And yeah, I may have killed a prostitute after banging her in Buick behind a building — because that’s just what you do in GTA.”
I’m dying…..
No sweatpants?! That sounds like a recipe for success if I ever heard one.
i hope to teach my kids about sex by just buying them a videogame.
wait! jk guys i hit submit by accident. LOL
i will say this. I did way more real life violent acts based off of just being around kids on the playground when i was little than i ever did once i started ripping peoples heads off in mortal kombat.
I wouldn’t mind letting my kids play w/ video games, but why do they have to be so violent? Sure, you could get flattened by a truck trying to hop across the highway, or be eaten by an alligator trying to run through the jungle, but that was all pretend. The games today are violent in a way that’s too close to reality.
Why do you have to kill the prostitute after banging her? I don’t understand.
The difficulty in managing video games with my kids is not the content, but the way they are so engaging to the child, to the exclusion of everything else. My daughter turned into a screaming monster if someone would stand in her way, or tell her we had to turn it off so that we could go out to the park. She wasn’t playing some violent game, she was playing Dora the Explorer. But she is a creative kid who is normally deeply engaged in her own imaginary adventures, and a video game to her is just going that much further and immersing her in those adventures. She just didn’t have the maturity to handle the kind of power and pull that playing had on her. It was too much fun for her – too important, to the exclusion of everything else. It was not healthy.
I’m sure there are some kids who can handle gaming and still maintain their sanity. But not mine. They do not bring nearly enough benefit to justify the cost.