There’s a BOY in the GIRLS’ bathroom!
(Please note that the 4-star rating applies to the women’s facilities only. The men’s room gets two.)
It’s Saturday night. You’ve had a long week, working on the chain gang, making donuts, calculating fish-stick totals, or whatever it is you do during the week, and you just want to have a good time. You remember hearing your friend telling you about a righteous Bollywood Dance Night at Cous Cous, and you decide you simply must be there. 11:30 rolls around, and chances are you may have had a drink or two whilst watching yours truly dance like a fool and lead a conga line around the building a few dozen times. Then you realize YOU HAVE GOT TO GO!
You attempt to make your way to the bathroom, and upon doing so realize that the line is as long as the sky is blue. Time passes, and you find yourself at the front of the line after much waiting. A bathroom finally opens and it is your turn. But wait! Tis’ not the appropriate bathroom for your corresponding gender…but you don’t care because remember, YOU HAVE GOT TO GO! Now let us just say, hypothetically, that as you are dashing into the open bathroom, the other bathroom door flies open. Whilst viewing both bathrooms simultaneously, you may think that you have entered a parallel universe, and you are probably right. They make no sense!
Now after many times spent using the men’s bathroom, I had settled on the assumption that the women’s bathroom was just as horrible and disgusting as the one I had become so accustomed to (no fault to Cous Cous mind you. Unfortunately for me, most dudes do not particularly care about being sanitary….or not trying to flush 10 rolls of TP at the same time). I was sorely mistaken as I was on my way into my usual room one night as the women’s Room door was opening. “?!?!?!?!”, I thought to myself as I peered in reluctantly. The bathroom was not only clean, but it actually matched the rest of the restaurant! The walls were a deep burgundy, and the sink was a clean light marble. I also seem to remember a wonderfully woven basket full of sundries near the door, though I may have made that up.
Now cleanliness aside, as I am sure the men’s bathroom is not in its weekend condition during daytime hours (when it is not catering to drunken zombies and what not), it seriously looks like it has been transported to Cous Cous from another realm. The color scheme doesn’t match anything in the place (aside from the white walls in the kitchen), and it is about 1/3rd the size of the women’s bathroom. It contains a standard-sized toilet, which is often begrudgingly cloaked by a slew of graffiti and complimented with a black cylindrical paper towel dispenser, which goes quite interestingly with the tiny wooden frame mirror, the likes of which one might find in a family yard sale. The hunter green tile work is consistent with the rest of the waiting area, and it probably does look very much like an ACTUAL Moroccan bathroom…but I somehow feel that that was not the intention. One point of interest however, is the section from a church confessional which dons the ceiling. (Hmm…I swear I have seen that somewhere before…I wonder). My recommendation? Paint that junk! Maybe clean some of that graffiti of the crapper and put in a less intrusive paper towel dispenser. And if you absolutely HAVE TO GO on a crowded Saturday, opt for the ladies’ room… it’s also big enough to formulate new moves before you hit the dance floor again.
900 W. Franklin Street
Richmond, VA 23220
(Image courtesy of Tim Gumto)