Chairman Brando’s Fancy Finds: Jan 21, ’11

Hey, little girl. Did you want to know a secret? Because I know one, and it is so good to hear it. Do you want to know what it was? Alright. I’ll tell you want it was.

January 21, 2011; 11:45 AM • by Chairman Brando

Hey, little girl. Did you want to know a secret? Because I know one, and it is so good to hear it. Do you want to know what it was? Alright. I’ll tell you want it was.

Creed shreds!

There’s an unnecessary slur at the end that kind of ruins the mood but if you ignore that then this is a treat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHUF00Q6CYs&hd=1

A previous episode, yasseah!

VIDEO GAMES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY OKAY

Watching this video hurts. The show is clearly terrible enough as it is, but the lengths it goes to be relevant in this particular scene are staggering.

Nerd stereotypes! Papyrus! Gathering in a dramatic crowd! Gonna do a montage! More Papyrus! Mentally unstable GAMERGRRL prodigy comes to save the day! Never mind that they should have sent the system’s hard drive off to some data analysis team the second it was in their possession. And when they finally beat it…?!?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFfJ4ZC1AtA

Motherfuckin’ Windows XP running Excel 97.

Well done, NBC. Well god-damned done.

I quickly stumbled across several other similarly idiotic and flat-out wrong tech scenes from prime-time dramas. Look at my awesome hacker 5K1LLZ as I lounge about this luxury estate in my crisp button-up shirt, khaki shorts, and sandals. Bet you can’t screenshot me!

Naturally, Nathan Fillion provides for us an anchor of reality in a stormy, shit-filled sea.

I’d like to say that first video has been purged from my memory banks but it simply won’t go. It’s just… so. insanely. bad. What choice do I have left but to try and dull my senses with puppies? Puppies on a treadmill. Forever. No enhancement needed; that shit just loops like magic.

Corgis on a treadmill