Bee Box #7: How to drink in public this Fourth of July (and not get caught)

There are two kinds of people that will need to hide a little picnic hooch: parents, who don’t want their children to know they are breaking the law by drinking in public and picnickers under the age of 30 still enjoying the police magnet years. Please allow me to show you the way.

July 3, 2009; 6:00 AM • by Genevelyn Steele

If you are considering a July picnic then count me out. I can’t think of a scenario, other than familial obligation or masochism (same thing), that would end with eating in a park after July 1st.

Except this one: No fireworks at the Diamond. If you live near Byrd Park or know someone that does, you won’t care that the Northside will be a rolling pyrotechnical blackout this year, but if you don’t have access to a zip code ending in a 0 or a 5, plan on clawing for a spot to watch the waterfalls and wagon wheels.

Suddenly, picnicking is romantic; a wholesome slice of Americana served with a side of yesteryear, a nostalgic escape to a time before cable, the Internet and ahem, Twitter. Though I expect plenty of pithy Tweets this 4th—including, “Wow that was awesome @bigdaddy” and, the RVA mating tweet; “Who’s @ Buddha? @ChokeyChicken.”

There are two kinds of people that will need to hide a little picnic hooch: parents, who don’t want their children to know they are breaking the law by drinking in public and picnickers under the age of 30 still enjoying the police magnet years. Please allow me to show you the way.

Presenting, the Rum Soaked Watermelon and the Jello-Shot Orange Slices – easy-peasy to make at home, and jake at the park.

Boozy Watermelon

1. Buy a large watermelon. No, it doesn’t have to be local or organic, but it should be firm to the touch and smell like a ripe melon. Look for one that is slightly flat on one side to prevent it from rolling around in the fridge. Clean the rind with a damp cloth and then wipe it dry.
2. Cut a small hole into the top side of the fruit. Push the end of a funnel down in the hole and pour vodka in. I prefer rum, but if you are really looking to remain on the DL, vodka is less aromatic. Stop pouring when the vodka /rum backs up in the funnel. Place the melon in the fridge with the funnel still inside.
3. Allow the alcohol to settle in the melon and repeat step two until you get all of your vodka in it. A large melon should hold at least a 5th of vodka, though it may take several rounds of funneling to get it all in. Once full, your watermelon is ready to slice and pack up for the park.

Orange Peel Jello Shots

You will need:

• Red and Blue Jello
• Chilled booze of choice
• Large bag of navel oranges

To prepare:

1. The empty orange peels will be the bowls your Jello sets in. To make the bowl, cut the oranges in half and remove the inside of the oranges, leaving just the peel. Dry the peels and set aside.
2. Make the Jello according to package directions at first (the part the uses the stove). i.e. for each 3oz box of gelatin, you will add one cup of water to the crystals and bring to a boil.
3. Remove the Jello from heat and stir in 1 cup of cold booze. To get to the 1 cup measurement, I prefer a ratio of 1:1 stronger alcohol, such as Stolys, to a clear cordial, such as Grand Marnier.
4. Pour the mixture into the orange rinds and refrigerate overnight. Once the Jello has set, slice the “oranges” into wedges and serve.

July 3, 2009 6:00 AM 2