5 things

We’ve got quite the mix for you this weekend: a taste of the moderately profane, a little “giving back to the community,” some stuff for the kids, and even some physical activity. We’re big on diversity here, what can we say?

August 13, 2009; 6:00 AM • by Valerie Catrow

1. Doug Stanhope at Plaza Bowl

Personally, I can get behind pretty much anyone who uses the phrase “corporate shitholes.” I just like it when it pops up in conversation. I admittedly didn’t know much about Doug Stanhope until RVAMag ran this feature on him (an interview conducted by Johnny Hugel who just might be the nicest person in Richmond). Here’s a clip of some of his stuff if you’re not familiar with him.

Be warned, there will be cussing, probably some smoking, and bashing of various groups and their beliefs. It’s comedy! Thursday, August 13th, 8pm, 523 East Southside Plaza, $18. Buy tickets here.

2. Dave Brockie Experience and Friends at Alley Katz

It’s true! Dave Brockie, the man behind Oderus Urungus and our very own series GWAR, Me, and the Onrushing Grip of Death will be performing in town with the likes of Meat Cleaver and Ugly Law. It’s sure to be, well, an experience I guess you could say. And don’t let all the shock-and-awe fool you. DAVE BROCKIE IS A PEACH THERE I SAID IT. I might have single-handedly just undone 25 years-worth of image building. Friday, August 14th, 10pm, 10 Walnut Alley, $8.

3. Stuff the Bus at Forest Hill Walmart

A good portion of you will probably be out this weekend getting the kiddies ready for heading back to school in a few weeks. While you’re out, pick up some extra notebooks, pencils, glue, etc. and head over to the Forest Hill Walmart and help out First Capital Bank in their efforts to collect school supplies for kids who need them. And ok, I don’t usually get “serious” here, but I have to tell you something: I used to teach at a school where many of the kids didn’t have much money. In many cases, paying rent had to come before buying looseleaf. It makes it really hard to learn if you don’t have to tools you need to do so. And it’s heartbreaking when a kid has to tell you that his parents couldn’t (or sometimes wouldn’t, which is even sadder) get him the things he needed for school. </guilt trip> Donations will go to kids at the Virginia Home for Boys and Girls, William Byrd Community House, and the Downtown YMCA. Saturday, August 15th, 10am to 1pm, 2501 Sheila Lane.

4. Pirate’s Paradise at Deep Run Park

Guys, guys! The pirate talk doesn’t have to be limited to your Facebook profile anymore. I know what you’re saying, “Really? Aren’t pirates kind of over?” And to that I say, “NO. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, CRAZIES?” This is a day for the whole fam and includes treasure hunts, pirate songs, airbrushes tattoos, and our good old friend FACE PAINTING. No mention of rum, but it would be a good drinking game to take a slug every time you see someone dressed up as Captain Jack Sparrow. Not that I’m suggesting drinking at a family event because that would be “irresponsible.” So instead, I insist you scream “ARRRRRRRRRRRRR” as much as possible. Saturday, August 15th, 11:30 to 2:30pm, 9900 Ridgefield Parkway, free!

5. Ginter Park “Just TRI it” Triathlon at Lewis Ginter Recreation Center

I’m just as shocked as you that I included this because I don’t usually even take notice of things involving “running” and similar activities. But the name of this just sounded so breezy and so not intimidating. The race includes a 1/4-mile freestyle swim, 10-mile bike ride, and 3-mile run. There will be no official times or even official race bibs (although you are encouraged to make your own). Sounds like a great event for people who are looking to get into triatholons, which I hear are both addictive and “personally satisfying.” Sunday, August 16th, 7:30am, 3421 Hawthorne Avenue, $10 to enter.

None of these up your alley? See what else is going on around town this weekend.

Did we miss anything? Leave it in the comments.

(If you have an event coming up that you want help promoting, let us know. We’ll add it to the calendar AND it just might end up making this list!)