5 Things

Hope you’re hungry, because three major food festivals converge upon the waistbands of our restaurant-obsessed city. While you’re waiting for your belt to just give up and split in twain, keep yourself occupied with comedy and/or dancing.

May 29, 2014; 7:23 AM • by Susan Howson

1. Greek Festival

The aromas, the sounds, the sights, the tastes, and the sweat of Greek Fest! And I’m not talking about pledges playing beer pong! I’d never talk about that! I’m talking grape leaves and dolmades and wine that tastes like pine needles (in a good way)! I’m talking baklava and scanty parking and kids in traditional raiments dancing around in a circle! It’s that time, and the time is now for arguably Richmond’s most beloved food festival!

Thursday, May 29th – Sunday, June 1st • see site for times
Sts. Constantine and Helen Greek Orthodox Cathedral, 30 Malvern Avenue
Free to attend! And the food is inexpensive!

2. Mike Birbiglia

I have kicked myself black and blue for not getting a babysitter so that I can see Mike Birbiglia for the third time. This comic is both adorable and hilarious, my two favorite qualities in a human, and consistently entertains. His new show, “Thank God for Jokes,” chronicles his experiences surrounding jokes getting him into trouble. Let’s just say I can relate.

Friday, May 30th • 8:00 PM
Carpenter Theatre, 600 E. Grace Street
$35

3. Virginia Burlesque & Sideshow Festival

People who are into burlesque tend to be INTO burlesque, so it can be intimidating to know where to start. Luckily, there is a festival that can ease you into the salacious art form by giving you a sampling of some of the best acts to watch. And of course, for seasoned burlesquians (I made that up, I think), there’s plenty here for you too. Plus, slightly unsettling sideshow acts such as SES Carney and contortionists. Neat/terrifying!

Friday, May 30th – Sunday, June 1st • see site for times
Gottwald Playhouse, 600 E. Grace Street
$20 – $35

4. Stone Soul Music & Food Festival

Did I say the Greek Festival was the One Food Festival to Rule them All? Because Stone Soul may be the hottest contender. 50 Cent, Keyshia Cole, and lots of artery-jamming soul food headline this year’s fest, which celebrates its tenth anniversary.

Saturday, May 31st &bull 12:00 – 9:00 PM
Richmond International Raceway Complex, 600 E. Laburnum Avenue
See site for prices

5. Broad Appétit

TOO MUCH FOOD AND FUN THIS WEEKEND. As if that’s ever a problem for Richmonders, #amirite? Local culinary dynamos hock their wares and get all creative, along with people selling various related things. It’s just $3 per dish, with more than 60 chefs participating. Do some math, and it’s just $180 to sample something from everywhere–well, $180 + the cost of a new pair of pants, as yours will split open in protest as you stuff yourself beyond the point where your brain, your heart, and your entire body was screaming at you to stop.