5 Things

The column contained herein is for those of you without interest in or tickets to Monty Python’s SPAMALOT.

The column contained herein is for those of you without interest in or tickets to Monty Python’s SPAMALOT. I figure you’ve either got other things to do, or you’re in need of some distractions to cheer you up. Either way, here’s an eclectic mix of events you might want to check out in the next few days!

1. Latin Ballet of Virginia: The Legend of the Poinsettia

Nothing is better than the ballet. Seriously! You think you know, but you have no idea, etc. So what about taking the ballet and making it a little spicier. GUYS! THE BALLET IS SPICY ON ITS OWN! THIS WOULD MEAN DOUBLE THE SPICE! And because they are spicy as all heck and can do whatever they want, the Latin Ballet of Virginia is extending Christmas. So what if we’re halfway into the new year? They’re the Latin Effing Ballet! They don’t care! And neither should you! That’s right! Dare to inject a little vivaciousness into your dreary January weekend.1

  • Thurs. Jan. 10 – Sun. Jan. 13 • See site for times
  • The Cultural Arts Center at Glen Allen, 2880 Mountain Rd.
  • Adults – $20, Children/Seniors/Students – $15, Groups – $20

2. Girls Rock! Benefit Show

We’ve all heard the ancient adage, “Girls, they doth rule, and their unfortunate brethren doth mightily drool.” Girls Rock! believes in the first half of that, anyway, and they work on empowering adolescent girls through writing and performing music in super-rad bands. Whaaaaat? Girls in bands!? What’s next, women in comedy? No, but seriously, there are people who really think like that. And we don’t need Tomorrow’s Adults adopting that attitude. Anousheh Khalil, Cardinal Compass, and The Kindling Kind–all lady-led musical acts–perform this Saturday night to benefit Girls Rock! in hopes that one day, girls shoegazing behind instruments won’t be such a rare sight.

  • Fri. Jan. 11 • 9:00 PM
  • The Republic, 2053 W. Broad St.
  • $3 suggested donation

3. Third Annual Virginia Home & Garden Show

Maybe your New Year’s resolution was to finally fix up that fixer-upper that you moved into 10 years ago, and maybe it was to finally beat the pants off your neighbor in your hood’s cutthroat flower show. I don’t pretend to know the inner workings of your mind. But I do think the timing is right for the STATEWIDE home and garden show. Meet some merchants, check out new time-saving products, let someone convince you that your front-yard hot tub is a terrible idea. All of these things and more up in Doswell this Saturday and Sunday.

  • Sat. Jan. 12 – Sun. Jan. 13 • See site for times
  • Meadow Event Park, 13191 Dawn Blvd.
  • $5, see site for a $1 coupon

4. Little Show Peep Presents: Natural Abilities

Burlesque isn’t just fun to say, it’s fun to do! At least that’s what a bunch of gals with names like Sally Von Streusel and Cherry Canarie seem to think. So much so that they’re competing against each other for Most Talented Burlesquer in the Land.2 They have sworn up and down that we’ll see everything from magic to sign language to tap dancing to accurately defining burlesque in five words or less.3 Little Show Peepers will be judging, as well as award-winning drag queen and host extraordinaire, Magnolia Jackson Pickett Burnside!

  • Sat. Jan. 12 • 8:00 PM
  • Gallery5, 200 W. Marshall St.
  • $10 in advance, $15 at the door

5. Afrobeat Tour 2013: EMEFE & The Brand New Life

Picture this. It’s a cold night. You’re walking from your parking space to Edo’s Squid. What’s that up ahead on the sidewalk? It’s billions of smoking young people! “Excuse me,” you say lamely as they glare at you and sulkily move a fraction of an inch out of your way. “Think carefully about your tattoo choices,” you whisper inaudibly to them as you hurry towards steaming bowls of pasta. I mean, that’s what I’ve heard it’s like to pass Strange Matter. HOWEVER! This Monday, the Afrobeat Tour 2013 brings the lively ten-piece ensemble EMEFE as well as self-described “melting pot of sounds” The Brand New Life for a peppy dance party the likes of which those grumpy kids have never seen! So this Monday night, you won’t be weaving through a forest of indolence as you move down Grace Street. You’ll be grooving your way in the door before you even know what hit you.

  • Mon. Jan. 14 • Doors open at 9:00 PM
  • Strange Matter, 929 W. Grace St.
  • $8

— ∮∮∮ —


  1. This weekend is actually supposed to be global-warming beautiful, but that didn’t really help my case at all. Just wanted to let you know in case you are Jim Duncan and you’re ready to pwn me with a weather report. 
  2. Richmondland. 
  3. Unsupported. I just wish that were my talent. 

Photo by: Horia Varlan

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