5 Things

America’s birthday is coming up. What did you get her? NOTHING!?! Oh, man, she’s gonna be PISSED! Don’t worry, though! There are fireworks, flying squirrels, a band so NOT full of BS!, an art walk, and even cover bands happening this weekend. Rest assured, we’ll find something that America will like.

June 30, 2011; 6:00 AM • by Nathan Cushing

It’s America’s birthday! Do you know what that means? It’s time to park your commie Prius in the garage, double-down on Extra Value Meals, and quaff good-ole ‘murrrcan Anheuser-Busch beer (so American, excuse me, ’murrrcan, that it is owned by Belgians)! Back in the day, some rando named John Adams said, “The second day of July 1776 will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival.” So he was off by a measly two days. Big deal! When have you gotten anything right!?! Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Although the Declaration of Independence was adopted on July 2nd, hence the basis for Adams’ quotation, it wasn’t formally approved by the colonies states until the 4th, hence Adams’ slight error. But boy was he ever right about Americans rocking out with our collective…you know…out! No one parties like Uncle Sam! Whatever your unique predilections towards celebrating may be, there is bound to be something that will strike your fancy. So cut loose. But not so loose that you end up sharting, and have yourself be known from sea to shining sea as Sharty McShartison until the day you die.

1. RVA Fireworks on the James

This is the big one, folks. No, not that big one. I’m talking about good ole American fireworks (made in China). The folks at Dominion and MeadWestvaco have foot the bill for a fireworks display program that will rival the 4th of July fireworks on the National Mall. Word is this event will be the single largest fireworks program in Virginia’s history. Like I said, BIG. We have a full write up about the event HERE. Yeah, this is going to be the Ron Jeremy of fireworks. Who knows? Ron Jeremy might even come (he’s certainly been to Richmond before).

• Sun., July 3 • Opens at 6pm
• Brown’s Island
• FREE

2. Richmond Flying Squirrels

Baseball! You know, that sport with the grass and the dirt, and the white lines and the bases and all that stuff. As footballers squabble over millions of dollars, wouldn’t it be nice to cheer for athletes that don’t make a lot of money and who love playing their respective game because they love their respective game. Well, whuddya know? As it so happens, our Squirrels are kicking some ass in the standings. What better way to celebrate the 4th by watching a great baseball game with friends and family? What? Fireworks, you say? You want to see Fireworks? Well, whuddya know? THEY HAVE THAT, TOO!

Wait? You wish you could also watch baseball and fireworks for free. Well, WHUDDYA know? WE HAVE TICKETS TO GIVE AWAY SO YOU CAN WATCH BASEBALL AND FIREWORKS FOR FREE! Simply fill out your info below and we’ll enter you into our ticket giveaway:

• Mon., July 4 • 6:35pm
• The Diamond, 3001 North Boulevard
• $7 – $11

3. No BS! Brass Band

There’s a reason the No BS! Brass Band is a local favorite–they’re no bull shit! These guys are talented, hardworking, and above all, pretty gosh darn entertaining. And, hey, did you hear about their trombonist, Reggie Pace? Crazy, right? This goes to show you how talented these gents are. They’re playing at the Camel on Friday night. What better way to celebrate America’s birthday weekend than to have FUN. If you don’t, THE TERRORISTS WIN. Fight terrorism, folks; go see No BS! Brass Band (remember, they’re no bullshit–it says so in their name. DUH!).

• Fri., July 1 • 9pm
• The Camel, 1621 W. Broad Street
• Tickets prices TBA

4. First Friday

RVA is known for art. That’s probably the understatement of the year. I mean, we all know that VCU has a world renowned arts program, and that the Mayor Jones wants an official Arts District, riiiiiight? Well, in case you didn’t know, art is kind of a big deal around here. Annnnnd, in case you’ve been living under a rock, the first Friday of every month is when many galleries and businesses welcome people throughout the downtown area east of Belvidere for really cool artsty-fartsy fare. It’s a great place for a date, for the kids, and even just for you, should you want to get your solitude on.

• Fri., July 1 • 5pm – 9pm (new hours)
• Various locations, here’s the map of participating galleries
• FREE

5. Under the Covers

How often do you get to see a band like Led Zepplin? Never! What about Weezer. Hardly ever! Without cover bands, so many of us would miss out on the past and present greats. Luckily, this Friday Gallery 5 and WRIR 97.3 are presenting “Under the Covers,” a full bill of totally coverlicious cover bands. There will be performances by The Sweater Band (a tribute to Weezer), Zepp Repplica (a tribute to Led Zeppelin), Pretend Pretenders (a tribute to The Pretenders), and The Green Hearts (a tribute to BAD ASS power pop). What’s even better is that the proceeds will go to Gallery 5 and WRIR. Located right next to the First Friday Art Walk, Gallery 5 is the perfect destination to end up after perusing RVA arts and crafts

• Fri., July 1 • 7pm
• Gallery 5, 200 W. Marshall Street
• $5 (proceeds to benefit Gallery 5 and WRIR)

June 30, 2011 6:00 AM 0