Pineapple Express: Fail
By tomorrow I might change my mind, though.
I don’t feel like I oscillate too much in my opinion of movies. The five star (with half stars!) rating system works pretty well for me. I find that it offers enough shades of grey to differentiate a movie I might like due to fond nostalgia but upon an adult viewing I realize that it maybe kind of blows (Dirty Dancing ) from a movie that I might like due to fond nostalgia but upon an adult viewing I realize that it definitely blows (Swing Kids). However, this time around, I found this new Judd Apatow Brand comedy – a well-intentioned experimental hybrid between a stoner flick and an action thriller – more and more difficult to rate as time goes by.
My Olympic addiction is complicating this, of course. The confusion about how I feel about Pineapple Express could be best described by various ratings on various categories. Or maybe if different parts of me could represent different judges from different countries – you know, the angry judge who’s a stickler for script and the benevolent judge who just throws gold medals at any actor with biceps and a strong chin.
Thus, I have decided to indulge myself and I’ve outlined my scores below, in the order in which I awarded them:
Two and a half stars – (Friday afternoon, midway through the movie.) At this point in the film, you realize that they’ve only laughed once or twice, probably at the idea of a hot high school girl dating Seth Rogen, but you are still hopeful that a hilarious sequence will pop up soundtracked by that MIA song from the trailer.
One star – (Friday early evening, driving home from the movie.) The disappointment is fresh and furious, and memories of the painfully slow editing still rankle. You find yourself longing for Forgetting Sarah Marshall to come out on DVD, just to experience the kind of script that Pineapple Express failed to deliver.
Half star – (Friday late night, as your friends enthusiastically ask you how it was.) WTF IT WAS AWFUL; DO NOT SEE IT. BURN YOUR WALLET AND THROW YOUR CAR KEYS IN THE LAKE. JAMES FRANCO* IS DEAD TO ME. I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT JOKER SIGNED UP FOR A MOVIE THIS STUPID.
(no stars all weekend as it flees from your memory)
Four stars – (Monday late morning, as you chat about it with your pals, who have now dragged themselves to see it, despite your warnings.) Some jokes begin to stand out in your memory, apart from the chaff of mediocre lines that have already faded. Suddenly, the whole idea of a guy who has to go through this life-changing event with his pot dealer seems hilarious in retrospect, even though you’ve never really been around a pot dealer, but you remember your high school boyfriend’s sketchy dropout friend talking about one once.
Two stars – (Right now and officially) Pineapple Express is a glorious idea that was directed badly, and ultimately, it’s us who suffer. The acting is good, the script is decent, and the characters have the potential to be hilarious. But when there are long, awkward pauses after each and every joke, reminiscent of Baby Mama, the entire movie feels like a high school play.
Aaaand five stars – whenever a picture like this one comes to mind.
*This is such a false statement said in the heat of the moment that I now really regret.
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Susan Howson
Susan Howson is managing editor for this very website. She writes THE BEST bios.
Notice: Comments that are not conducive to an interesting and thoughtful conversation may be removed at the editor’s discretion.
1. This movie was hilarious.
2. Im glad the MIA song wasnt in the actual movie it is too overplayed as it is. I heard so many people moan about it not being in the movie as I was walking out of the theatre. Dorks!
3. This movie was hilarious.
4. People blow my mind. Especially the ones who don’t think this movie is awesome.
5. There were some parts that I felt dragged. But overall it was worth it.
Oh man, I knew that was coming!!
You guys are like Jack Lemon and Walter Matthau.
and i knew you would give this movie a low rating. oh how predictable we have come…
Look, no one wanted to love this movie more than I did!
THEN LOVE IT!
im going to see tropic thunder tonight. robert downey as a black man will be incredible
Dude, I went to see it with two friends and all three of us hated it.
Tropic Thunder better be good or else. RDJ rarely fails so here’s hoping.
RDJ as a black man. Genius.
I love Jack Lemon and Walter Matthau. I have no doubt that he original Odd Couple blows this away. Lemon in Glengarry Glen Ross is his genius role and Matthau in the Bad News Bears was a case of an actor being perfectly casted.
One of my favorite movies of all time? “Being There” starring Peter Sellers. Running a close second would be, “Harold and Maude”. I’m a sucker for Hal Ashby.
This Cheech & Chong update (as well as,”Tropic Thunder”) won’t be viewed by these eyes until they hit cable. And Robert Downey Jr. isn’t in black face. Al Jolson wore black face. Emmet Miller wore black face. Robert Downey Jr. is just playing the role of a white guy trying to be black. Two completely different things…
um, fuck that. as with most apatow movies, it becomes funnier with time and I know that a week from now (or at least when the dvd comes out) you’ll realize that it was absolutely hilarious, despite a lacking script and somewhat poor directing/director choice(s). definitely not a 5-star movie, but you know that certain lines will come up in conversation with your friends for months to come. I mean, snicklefritz.
but i guess long story short, it’s becoming cool to dislike apatow movies now that everyone and their brother’s discovered apatow (er.. mainly superbad)
oh, p.s. danny mcbride’s character sucked, as per usual. and the guy holding the camera at the olympics as we speak is losing his balance.
I’m sorry, I meant the above review to sum itself up as “It becomes funnier with time and I know that a week from now (or at least when the dvd comes out) I’ll realize that it was absolutely hilarious, despite a lacking script and somewhat poor directing/director choice(s),” but I guess that didn’t come across.
I will never say any joke from this movie to my friends. I can’t even remember any of the jokes from this movie, because I’m not sure I laughed more than twice. In fact, I remember more vividly the jokes my friends and I were making to each other afterwards, which we all agreed seemed extra hilarious because of how un-funny all three of us thought the movie was.
I know other people loved it though, because I could hear them in the theater cracking up. It’s nothing against Judd though. I guess stoner humor doesn’t crack me up. High school dudes who want to get laid humor, or vampire humor, or pregnancy humor, or virgin humor: sure. But I guess stoner jokes aren’t my scene.
Kind of the same way I felt about Borat. It had a couple of moments, but overall I thought it was the stupidest thing I had ever seen. I know some people loved it, but not me. And unlike Pineapple Express, that movie got worse with time. The few things that made me chuckle at first now seem even stupider. I wish I could come up with a different adjective, but the only one that seems to fit is stupid.
Susan,
I FEEL YOUR PAIN. I really do. Premise. Awesome. Cheech and Chong update? Hardly.
The movie was a huge let down, clearly. Jmorg stated, obviously off the top of his head, “it would of been nice if the finished the script before filming the movie.” I like Cassavettes as much as the next shmuck, but David Gordon Green ain’t that guy.
The movie has no focus and Rogen just didn’t cut the mustard this time around. NOT A FUNNY MOVIE.
way to not be super defensive. I should have specified that that was aimed at the kid who him and his two friends hated it. which i guess i was being defensive first. and if the “stoner” comedy isn’t funny to you, justin, then you must have gone through all four years of high school without knowing anyone who has dedicated their life to smoking pot.
I was being totally sincere! Wait, are you fucking with me? Argh someone invent sarcastic font on the double!
i loved it. i laughed pretty consistently throughout and i like the cheesy action packed parts. then again, i saw it for free the day before it came out, so perhaps my feeling better than everyone else and not having to spend nine dollars on it got the better of me. i don’t think so, though. then again, i’m a sucker for the stoner comedy in all its forms.
Ah, my faith in you as a reviewer and opinionist is strengthened. Thanks for the good review.
I watched this movie after one of my BEST friends just died and i STIll laughed my ass off!!! i’m sorry he didn’t get to see it cuz it’s a GREAT movie