I Declare Myself ‘King of the Hill’

April 1, 2008; 1:01 AM • by Oregon Hill

I have been President or Co-President or Acting President of the Oregon Hill Neighborhood Association (OHNA) for over four years now. No one has offered to take over that leading position, or that of moderator of this neighborhood blog, or that of owner of the neighborhood email discussion group. OHNA elections have been postponed or delayed for months, much to my disliking. Therefore, at the risk of a street beating by old-timers and taunting by college students, I, Scott Burger, hereby renounce all titles other than that of King of Oregon Hill. I declare my intention to rule by fiat as supreme leader of the neighborhood until I decide otherwise.

I recognize the potential concern that this assumption of power will create, and I assure my neighbors that I will continue my benevolent reign, with mind to fairness and order for all. In return, I do demand fealty, obedience, and respect, and, perhaps at some point in the future, tithe and tribute. At this time I am considering the appointments of royal advisors. For now I will hold my court at the same time and place as that of the regular OHNA meetings, 7pm of fourth Tuesdays at the William Byrd Community House.

I already formulated several royal decrees, and those will appear on this website in short order. Until notified otherwise, residents and visitors should still follow and respect the laws of the City of Richmond, Commonwealth of Virginia, and the United States of America.

Scott Burger