But guys, pedophilia is FUNNY!

Idiot uncle makes us all wonder, “Who’s the real monster?”

October 28, 2007; 10:30 PM • by Valerie Catrow

Ok, I lied. I am offended by one thing. And right now I’m so offended that I’m having a hard time choking back the chunks of vomit creeping up my throat. The cause? Allow me to present Mr. Vincent Margera:

Some of you might know him as Don Vito of Viva La Bam “fame.” You may remember that in August of last year, Don Vito was arrested for allegedly groping three young girls (ages 12, 12, and 14) during an autograph signing at a Colorado skatepark. Gross. But, it gets worse.

At his trial last Monday, Vito’s attorney Pamela Mackey (yes, that would be the same small but scary litigator who defended class-act Kobe Bryant a couple years ago and kept “accidentally” saying his accuser’s name during the trial – a big, assy no-no when it comes to dealing with rape cases and a violation of Colorado privacy laws) was stunningly true to form when addressing the issue, claiming that the gropings were all part of a hilarious show. She stated:

“Fans came to see the crazy, outrageous, profane uncle. That’s who they wanted to their picture taken with. Fans expected to see Don Vito, not Vincent Margera…You may find the behavior vulgar and disgusting, but it was done to amuse, to entertain, to get a laugh.” (source)

Right.

I know it’s her job to defend the guy and I’m sure Bam is forking over quite a chunk of change for her to do it, but I wonder what her thought process was to get to that defense. Maybe she was figuring since those guys on Viva La Bam are into being asses for the sake of entertainment that they’ll be down with child molestation, if it’ll get few laughs. Or maybe she thought of it while she was up late, eating kittenburgers while she made her children sit naked in bathtubs filled with ice and sewing needles.

Oh and P.S., Vito was so drunk when he was with these kids that he pissed himself. Then he called the arresting officers “psycho bitches” and asked if they were taking him to a strip club. Now that is funny.