RVANews

It's hard not to love Netflix's current model of original programing: release an entire season of a show on a single day and watch productivity drop across America. It makes for wonderful binge watching--which is the only way to watch, if you ask me.

House of Cards season two just dropped this past Friday (Valentine's Day), and the Catrow household has been working hard to put a dent in its 13 episodes. If you're unfamiliar with the premise, House of Cards is like the Game of Thrones version of The West Wing. Kevin Spacey stars as an absolutely terrible human being / congressperson that, for some reason, you'll still root for. Inexplicably. --R

Why you should watch this show: Politics! Intrigue! Scandal! It's just like what really goes on in Washington D.C.!
Why you shouldn't: Just as The West Wing gives you faith in humanity and America, House of Cards takes any flicker of hope you had in our country's future and snuffs it out. Also: sometimes a naked Kevin Spacey.
Bechdel Test: Yeah, all over the place! While Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey's character) is the focus of the series, his wife, Claire Underwood (Robin Wright), is totally epic and ruthless with her own goals and doesn't really care who knows it.

A list which currently contains just TinTin and this movie, but I'm looking for more suggestion! ↩

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The Movie Column: Mission Impossible, The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, and The Pianist

Susan Howson — Fri, 31 Jan 2014 12:17:55 +0000

Mission:Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)

The M:I series is close to my heart. Even the ridiculous John Woo one (Mission:Impossible II) is entertaining in its ridiculousness, at least. I, III, and IV (aka "Ghost Protocol") are about as good as this kind of movie gets. Tom Cruise's Ethan Hunt is about a billion times less embarrassing than every other badass action guy he has played, although one guesses that he got into the genre through his success as this very brave, very fast, and very cool IMF agent.

IMF, in case you don't know, is a sort of top-secret spy agency that the rest of us don't know about due to our pathetic security clearance. Their missions, should they choose to accept them, revolve around vague things like "Russians" and "breaches of security" and also who cares. That's the beauty of M:I--no caring required. In fact, I've seen Ghost Protocol a few times, and I'm still not really sure what the heck it's about (codes, impending nuclear war, and leather hoodies?). But I couldn't care less, because there are a ton of interesting action scenes and a lot of suspense. And Jeremy Renner. Oh, and in this one, they drop the whole mask thing but use a lot of other neat and fictional technology. -- S

Why you should see this movie: Tom Cruise can still wear a suit well, and he can run like the wind, of course. (Bonus: Jeremy Renner!!!)
Why you shouldn't: Tom Cruise cannot pull off shirtless anymore.
Bechdel Test: Two women have a battle to the death, basically over a dude. Huge fail. But I do give this movie props for depicting a friendship between the lead male and female that does not involve sexual tension. Those exist!

The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972)

Largely hailed as a masterpiece, this Luis Buñel satire won an Academy Award for Best Foreign Film. But don't expect any sort of gripping, top-to-bottom plot. It's a little like a dream. In fact, there are plenty of dreams in it. Three aristocratic couples move around a French suburb in an attempt to hang out together, only various things get in their way: bad alcohol, no coffee, inconvenient service, military maneuvers, ghosts, all sorts of other things. The satire here is in their eyebrow-raised reaction to it all. Sure, they're smuggling coke around, why the hell not? They work in an embassy or something, so what on earth do they need to care about, besides whether or not their servants are bringing in the right food at the right time?

Buñel used some new-at-the-time effects and provided minimal direction, letting his actors play up their haughty indifference as much as they could. French people, y'all. They are so superior to us peasants, and they know it. --S

Why you should see this movie: It's really silly at parts and downright absurd at others (all intentional, of course), but I sort of understood what the beef (or should I say "boeuf") was with this class of annoying snobs at that specific time in the 20th century, in that specific part of the world.
Why you shouldn't: It's more of a mood movie than something that will keep you on the edge of your seat, but you knew that already.
Bechdel Test: The three wives have a fair amount of conversations, but no conversation in this film is about anything meaningful. It may not apply.

The Pianist (2002)

I read this book a couple of years ago, and of course it was twenty times richer than the movie and included far more upsetting details about life in occupied WWII Poland. As a memoir written not long after he survived several years of psychological and physical hell, professional pianist Wladyslaw Szpilman writes with a particularly melancholy air that I've never quite experienced before. One of the haunting things is how he ends the book--he survives, of course, but he signs off after letting you know that this hasn't restored his faith in the world. His family's gone, he's all alone, and his city is in ruins. Great.

So what I'm saying is, the movie is a wild romp! JK, Adrian Brody is Szpilman, and he's brilliant, as usual. Because the book is so meticulously detailed, the movie does a gorgeous job of recreating the scene, making it hard to remember that this man isn't actually starving and freezing to death before our eyes. You will feel many things and those things will be both terrible ("How can human beings do this to each other?") and wonderful ("Turns out my own life isn't so bad!"). --S

Why you should see this movie: Soul-shattering performances abound, and you will learn a lot about the biggest affront to humanity in the modern age.
Why you shouldn't: You dislike true stories that make horror stories look like Pixar flicks.
Bechdel Test: A little. Szpilman's mother and sisters exchange some words about their terrible crisis, but also everyone's really worried about getting shot in the street, so there aren't really a ton of conversations at all.

Week of movies! Fatal Attraction, Greenberg, TinTin, and Mr. Vengeance

Susan Howson — Fri, 24 Jan 2014 15:29:12 +0000

Why limit film reviews to just one a week? And why use a bunch of dang words? Can’t we give you the goods in one or two paragraphs? Now, with our powers combined (that’s Susan Howson and Ross Catrow), you can hear about a film currently in theaters, some Netflix streamers, and even an occasional DVD. More bang for your buck! And you don’t even have to provide any bucks!

— ∮∮∮ —

Fatal Attraction (1987)

There are some films that are so famous, you sort of feel like, “If I haven’t seen it by now, why bother? I know about all the boiled rabbits, etc.” But movies are more than just the sum of their famous scenes.

This 1987 thriller is part cautionary tale (hey dudes, if you’re married to a babe-and-a-half like Anne Archer, try not to have pointless romantic liaisons) and part “Aren’t women so cray-cray??” The latter part annoys me, of course, but it’s cool to see the beautiful 1980s Hollywood treatment do its thing. If this film had been made today, everyone would have been overly made-up and driving Ferraris, not to mention abusing the whole shocking-appearance-behind-you-in-the-mirror thing. Instead, it features beautiful interiors, smart use of colors, and takes its time with pacing. Nice work, 1987! —S

Why you should see this movie: It’s nice to know that fashion really does come back around.
Why you shouldn’t: The ending is rather abrupt and leaves you feeling like…“Wait, did he just get away with this?”
Bechdel Test: Not enough to make it a true pass. These women (sad wife and crazy mistress) are fairly developed characters, but are still tropes with parts to play. One represents the dude’s civilized self, the other his animal self. Don’t believe me? Check out the publicity photo on Letterboxd.

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (2002)

I’m nearly finished with my journey through director Park Chan-wook’s filmography, a journey I recommend to all humans who, for some reason, like to feel terrible things. This week I took in Sympathy for. Mr. Vengeance which starts off a bit quieter and a bit slower than the previous films I’ve watched in the Vengeance Trilogy.

This totally makes sense as one of the protagonists is deaf and mute. He’s a quirky, quiet dude (obviously), but cares deeply for his sister who will soon die without a kidney transplant. When he losses his blue collar job at a metal factory, his girlfriend convinces him to kidnap the bosses daughter and ransom her to pay for his sister’s new kidney. Unlike the other vengeance movies, at first it’s unclear who’s the guy we need to have sympathy for after he starts a’ vengeancing. The deaf guy? The boss? Both are moved to extreme acts, and as things begin to unravel, those acts become even more extreme. That’s when it goes all HOLY SHIT–as Park’s movies tend to do. —R

Why you should see this movie: It’s incredibly well-paced and well-timed. At almost the exact moment I was ready to chalk this film’s timidity up to it being one of Park’s earlier works BAM! He hits me with a child autopsy scene.
Why you shouldn’t: Well, the above is kind of what you get with this guy: terrible, awful feelings from hard-to-watch scenes that usually involve children. This…does not sound super appealing when I write it down, but it’s all really well done and definitely done for a reason–unlike a lot of the American torture porn that comes out of Hollywood today.
Bechdel Test: The sister and the kidnapped daughter have a couple conversations, but I’m not sure it passes the spirit of the test.

Greenberg (2010)

Mumblecore and Noah Baumbach! I’m so conflicted about both of these things, but I’ll tell you what I’m not conflicted about: Greta Gerwig! Star and co-writer of one of my favorite 2013 films, Frances Ha (also by Baumbach), Gerwig is a master at being a coltish, good-hearted, guilty, scared, awkward, lady. All of her characters are good, and while she can certainly be a one-trick coltish, good-hearted, guilty, scared, awkward, lady, she does that trick SO well.

“Greenberg” refers to a dude, however. A dude (Ben Stiller) who obsessed over things that happened in the past and is so neurotic about how he’s perceived and how he perceives other people that he can’t get anything accomplished. He’s visiting in LA, he meets Florence (Gerwig, and I’m wondering if the name’s similarity to Frances is intentional. Different coast, almost exactly the same character.) Everybody learns all the things about themselves and each other, and that’s getting pretty old. It happens in every movie, this one is no different, and in the end it falls pretty flat. —S

Why you should see this movie: Like I said, Gerwig.
Why you shouldn’t: Dudes talking about how they could have been rock stars is one of the most annoying things in the entire world. NO YOU ALMOST CERTAINLY WOULD NOT HAVE, EVERY DUDE EVER.
Bechdel Test: Nope, not a bit.

The Adventures of TinTin (2011)

The Adventures of TinTin is how an action-adventure movie should be. It’s directed by a guy (Steven Spielberg) who knows a ton about action-adventure movies, so it should come as no surprised that TinTin feels more like the true successor to Indiana Jones than that Crystal Skulls crap. Spielberg does an excellent job at putting together a movie totally suitable for kids, adults, and the whole family, but still keeps the stakes way higher than in a typical family-friendly film. There are shoot-outs, sword fights, suspense, villains, heroes, and a surprising bit of alcoholism. People die, but there’s virtually no blood and the main characters don’t do much—if any—of the killing. But that’s what the Hergé comics were all about, and if anything, TinTin was written and directed by a group of people who are clearly huge fans of the original material.

Some serious heavy hitters wrote the screenplay: Steven Moffat (executive producer of Doctor Who and creator of Sherlock), Edgar Wright (director of all those Simon Pegg movies), and Joe Cornish (director of the forthcoming Snow Crash film). Peter Jackson produced the film and his studio provided the special effects which, unfortunately, are uncanny valley like whoa. The story of how the film got made (which reaches back before ET) is super interesting and definitely worth reading—just like the film! —R

Why you should see this movie: If you were going to show your five-year-old Temple of Doom, but then everyone yelled at you because why would you show your child a movie that involves ripping the still-beating heart out of a boy, this is a fine replacement.
Why you shouldn’t: There’s tons of “LOL alcoholism!” Like, I get that the source material is from France and from an era gone by. But, man, we’ve decided as a society that if you’re a drunk you’re gonna have a bad time.
Bechdel Test: There’s exactly one woman in the film, and she’s just a tool the villain uses in a heist.

Week of movies: Her, Jennifer’s Body, Insidious, and Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Ross Catrow — Fri, 17 Jan 2014 13:00:23 +0000

— ∮∮∮ —

Her (2013)

Now showing

Now that Oscar noms are out, you should really start to prioritize your movie watching. Her, directed and written by Spike Jonze, picked up nominations for Best Picture and Original Screenplay, and is (for now) still showing in Richmond theaters. It’s totally worth your time!

Her explores some of the standard themes of inter-human relationships: romance, growing together, growing apart, feelings of inadequacy, bursts of sexual excitement, and rejection. In Her, one of the humans is played by Joaquin Phoenix, the other is not a human but a bodyless artificial intelligence voiced by Scarlett Johansson. Breathy and adorable, like most ScarJo characters, Samantha the AI begins to change, grow, and fall in love with Theodore Twombly the introverted human--who’s doing his own bit of growing, changing, and falling in love.

Jonze builds a pretty neat near-future world for Twombly to mope around in as he struggles to recover from a recent breakup. It’s definitely the future (with some external scenes shot in Shanghai), but it’s not a distracting, cold future made of spandex and turtlenecks. It’s pretty much the opposite of Minority Report: warm, personal, and slowly paced. Joaquin is wonderful to watch, and while ScarJo’s voice acting borders on the over-adorable at times, she’s my pick for the next voice of The Computer on Star Trek. —R

Why you should see this movie: It’s nominated for a bunch of awards and will probably win the Original Screenplay Oscar—which is, like, the most important one.
Why you shouldn't: There’s an incredibly awkward sex scene. I’m not kidding, dude. Super. freaking. awkward.
Bechdel Test: It’s hard for a movie about the relationship between a man and a woman who has no body and basically lives inside of the man’s earpiece to pass the Bechdel Test.

Jennifer’s Body (2009)

It's hard to dislike anything that involves indie bands making deals with Satan, metaphors about man-eating high school glamazons, and Hole references. Jennifer's Body, written by Juno screenwriter Diablo Cody, is a cute horror film with a special kind of teen girl camp that keeps it going despite some weird pacing. Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried are besties with a weird tension that borders on sexual, keeping Needy (Seyfried) in an idol-worshipping position re: Jennifer (Fox). Jennifer sucks a ton already, so when she becomes a demon one night after a tragic event, all bets are off! Frenemies become murder suspects! Sexual aggression has new meaning! Etc etc!

While it was entertaining, sharply written, and at times really intuitive about female teen friendships, Jennifer's Body sometimes weirded me out with its victim-blaming. On the whole, though, it played with a bunch of tropes, and that's tough to beat. —S

Why you should see this movie: : Performances are awesome all around, and it's not so scary that you'll be up all night worrying about Megan Fox eating your soul.
Why you shouldn't: You've got a low tolerance for camp, blood, or awkward first-time sex scenes.
Bechdel Test: Over and over.

Insidious (2010)

You'd think, based off the film's poster, that Insidious was yet another “Creepy Kid Kills Family” flick. You know the type: a washed out color palette; a young, dark, and serious kid who, once possessed by a demon or some such, becomes violent; and plenty of jump scares as ghostly horrors slip by windows or door frames. But really, Insidious is more interesting that that, and while it starts in the same familiar place, it ends up somewhere totally different.

Well, totally different if you haven't seen any Nightmare on Elm Street films (or any of the fantastical horror movies from around that time). The second half of Insidious features bold, warm colors, quirky demons, and some good one liners (remember when horror movies used to be funny?). It's kind of refreshing in this post- The Ring world we live in. —R

Why you should see this movie: You don't need a Serious Horror Movie to convince you that children are awful/terrifying.
Why you shouldn't: A couple of times things slip from quirky to silly, which spoils a lot of the set up from earlier in the film.
Bechdel Test: There may be a few desultory conversations between the creepy kid’s mom and a female psychic, but nothing major.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)

A weird thing happened back in 2008. Kevin Smith directed a really solid and maybe even meaningful sex scene that stars Seth Rogen??

Pick that jaw up off the floor, my friend! This film, which stars Rogen and the always-incredible Elizabeth Banks, tells the story of two broke BFFs who do what every pair of broke BFFs would do and decide to make a terrible adult film and see if people will pay to watch it. By Zack’s logic, “Everyone wants to watch anyone fucking!” It’s a story about how sometimes love is where you least expect it (if you’re not every person watching this film), but it’s also a story about “making love” versus the aforementioned fucking. And it’s kind of sweetly done?!

It IS a Kevin Smith comedy, however, and the “sometimes women have saggy boobs” and “haha poop is funny” jokes can get a little tiresome. Plus, everyone’s motivations are pretty weak and terrible. But it stars that guy from Clerks (you know, “salsa shark” guy), Traci Lords, Craig Robinson, AND Jason Mewes, whom you may know as “Jay.” (You’ll also know him in a lot of other ways, because dude is straight up naked all over this film.) The cast is good even if the script is barely held together, and I’m not sure you could say it’s Smith’s best work, but it’s worth a watch. Even just for that one Rogen-hott scene. WHAT, WHAT DID I JUST SAY? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD. —S

Why you should see this movie: If all of the above didn’t sway you, what if I told you that this movie also stars Brandon Routh as “an incredibly attractive guy,” which is pretty much accurate. Plus Justin Long is there too.
Why you shouldn't: You’re squeamish in the least.
Bechdel Test: 0%. The females in this movie absolutely only speak to each other about dudes and the various dude-parts of their bodies.

Week of Movies: Downton Abbey premiere, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, I was a Male War Bride

Ross Catrow — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 14:39:15 +0000

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Downton Abbey : Season 4 Premiere (2013)

Available for free on Roku/AppleTV, PBS.org, or for purchase everywhere else

At two hours, this much-anticipated premiere might as well have been a movie. And with the production value of that addicting, year-jumping, sensation-mongering show, I'm going to go ahead and classify it as such for our purposes. If you're new to Downton, don't read further.

It's six months after Matthew's sudden and very stupid death, and true to Downton form, very little is happening. In fact, very little happens throughout this whole premiere. Anna and Bates wonder why the new ladies' maid is such a jerk. Cora frets over a shirt. Mary is so severe and gloomy as to be laughable. Mrs. Crawley helps a soul in need. Mrs. Hughes also does. Mr. Carson grumbles. Bells ring, tea is served, "advertisements" is pronounced charmingly, and life moves along. The writers of this show excel in rushing through major events (the deaths of just about everyone) and spending far too much time drawing out the minor ones. And even repeating the minor ones. Guys, why does anyone trust Barrow with anything? Has no one learned any sort of lesson? And guess what, there's a misunderstanding between poor naive Daisy and that same guy who doesn't like her! It's good to know that things are really being shaken up with the British class structure, the upheaval of which this show intended to depict. —S

Why you should see this movie: If you've watched the first three seasons, you're going to want to see this. Plus, maybe they'll throw us a bone and do some more things with Rose later on.
Why you shouldn't: If you've watched the first three seasons, you're going to be disappointed that this…THIS is what we've been waiting for?
Bechdel Test: Oh yeah, there's plenty of time for women to communicate about ironing, mixers, butlers, dancing…you know, lady stuff.

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance (2005)

After falling in love with Oldboy and then realizing that Park Chan-Wook also directed Stoker, I decided to watch the guy's entire filmography. And while each has left me incredibly disturbed, I certainly haven't been disappointed.

In Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, police charge Lee Geum-ja with the kidnapping and brutal murder of a four-year-old boy and send her to prison to serve a 13-year sentence. While there she befriends her fellow inmates. After her release she puts into motion a chilling plan of revenge 13 years in the making--calling in favors from those she helped in prison. Then, in Park Chan-wook's trademark dark and surreal style, things get weird, violent, and horrible (but good horrible).

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance is the third part of Park's "Vengeance Trilogy" which isn't so much of a trilogy as it is three films dealing with similar themes (Oldboy and Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance round out the trilogy). Gotta watch 'em all! —R

Why you should see this movie: Because everything I've seen by Park Chan-wook is worth watching--and Sympathy for Lady Vengeance is no exception.
Why you shouldn't: It's incredibly violent at times and features some really hard-to-watch scenes involving small children. Sensitive parents beware!
Bechdel Test: Definitely: female protagonist seeking revenge with the help of her female friends.

I was a Male War Bride (1949)

Call me old fashioned, but I'm a sucker for a cross-dressing comedy. Some Like it Hot, Just One of the Guys, Ladybugs, She's the Man--all classics if you ask me. Not only does I was a Male War Bride involve a teensy (which is not nearly enough) bit of hilarious cross dressing, but it stars Cary Grant and an adorable Ann Sheridan. In this 1949 film, a female officer in the US military (Sheridan) marries a member of the French military (Grant). They have all sorts of zany mix ups while trying to make their way out of the military and back to America, when the only way through the Army's dense and winding bureaucracy is for Grant to file for a visa as a "war bride."

Grant and Sheridan have great onscreen chemistry, a lot of which feels improvised and natural. It's also interesting to watch a director in the 1940s explore gender roles--Sheridan's character in particular is realistic, hilarious, takes no fuss from anyone. She reminded me of my grandmother. —R

Why you should see this movie: Ann Sheridan might remind you of your grandmother.
Why you shouldn't: There's absolutely no score. Which is fine, but that three-minute scene of the main characters riding around on a motorcycle sure could have been helped with a little driving music.
Bechdel Test: Sheridan's character and her female commanding officer exchange a couple of words about an impending mission.

The Smiling Lieutenant (1931)

I've got a real thing for Pre-Code films, that is, the ones released before 1934, the year that all the studios agreed to water down any illicit content. That's why you never think of anyone in the 40s or 50s sharing beds, cursing, killing anyone without being punished, or generally not acting like the Cleavers. We're so used to that kind of Hollywood that it's always pleasantly jarring to watch something like The Smiling Lieutenant, in which Maurice Chevalier really is a lieutenant who really does smile—but he smiles because he is unabashedly trying to get in everyone's pants! Unfortunately, he smiles at a princess who he isn't attracted to, because he's too busy nailing Claudette Colbert! Princess's daddy sees the smile and wink and insists that they get married (he's probably a huge fan of the Code).

Will Claudette Colbert win out? After all "girls who stay for breakfast never get asked to supper," she tells us sadly. And she's there for breakfast an awful lot! This movie also reminds ladies to jazz up their lingerie and stop being such prudes. Life is more fun when you're exuding sex appeal. CONFLICTING MESSAGES! STOP IT, DIRECTOR ERNST LUBITSCH!

Speaking of, Lubitsch and Chevalier teamed up for many acclaimed movies in that era. Chevalier sings a lot about how he likes to have sex, and Lubitsch makes some Superjokes. It's an important time in film history (plus it involves incredible costuming). --S

Why you should see this movie: It's a substantive part of your quest to get a great picture of Hollywood's century-long journey. And you might be inspired to jazz up your lingerie!
Why you shouldn't: Your lingerie is too jazzy already and you need to tone it down.
Bechdel Test: Iffy. The two females in the film do have a lengthy interaction about said lingerie, music, etc., but it's really all about Niki (Chevalier), so no dice. There is an all-girl orchestra though!

Silent Running (1972)

In the distant future, we've fudged the environment bad. Like, real bad. Apparently the entire earth is deforested, plants are extinct, and no one give a damn but Bruce Dern. He's out in deep space managing a giant dome-enclosed forest attached to a commercial shipping vessel, all while being a real weird dude. His superiors decide plants are dumb and that they might as well jettison and nuke the domes (which, remember, contain the LAST REMAINING PLANTS KNOWN TO MAN) for one reason or another. Bruce will not let this stand.

Silent Running is brought to you by some of the same special effects dudes that brought you 2001. It's got that same dated-yet-futuristic 1970s feel and was even filmed partly on Korean War-era aircraft carriers--which to me, typify dated-yet-futuristic. While there's no epic space baby, there are tiny, lovable robots operated by bilateral amputees(!?). --R

Why you should see this movie: Movies starring cute, sentient robots really get your gears whirring.
Why you shouldn't: Bruce Dern turns in a good performance, but the film does a pretty lazy job at convincing you to care about...anything (except the charming robots).
Bechdel Test: There are zero female character in Silent Running, except for Mother Nature, of course.

Week of Movies! The Wolf of Wall Street, Our Idiot Brother, My Summer of Love

Susan Howson — Fri, 03 Jan 2014 14:32:36 +0000

— ∮∮∮ —

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

Now showing!

Hey kids, have you ever wondered what would happen if you and all your pals had all the money you could ever want? What if it came at the expense of a bunch of other people? Do you think it would prevent you from treating yourself to yachts, hookers, cocaine, and basically degrading everyone around you in every fashion you possibly can?

Turns out, we are talking about Wall Street, and the valuable lesson we should all learn from shady tycoon Jordan Belfort (played by Leo DiCaprio) is that we should all just go ahead and do whatever we want. As long as we have money, we won't be punished too severely. Oh, and also we should learn a lesson about drinking too much soda before going into a three hour long Scorsese movie. The editing tends toward endless repetition of the same BS over and over ad nauseam. If you're going to be insulting and offensive towards humankind, at least try not to be boring about it. —S

Why you should see this movie: You need some desensitization therapy regarding drugs and/or naked chicks.
Why you shouldn't: There's every reason to skip it: its effed up Boys Club way of glorifying limitless greed, its uneven narrative methods, and its weak, weak humor. But its worst sin is that The Wolf of Wall Street does nothing original or with heart.
Bechdel Test: Please.

The Wolverine (2013)

Available on DVD and on Amazon Instant

If you like the X-Men franchise, then you'll looooove skipping this one. I know it seems like a good idea—all Wolverine all the time. Hugh Jackman IS the hottest mutant around, that is, when he's not off grapevining on Broadway. But this one pairs some blah performances with only the barest hint of a plot, throwing love interests together in a way that quickens no one's pulse. Oh, and there's some sort of villain we're supposed to be afraid of, but she looks just terrifying tottering around in extremely high heels and having no motivation for anything.

It's a travesty when a really good franchise's offshoots go bad, but I'd skipped X-Men Origins: Wolverine because of accounts of its unwatchability. For some reason, logic dictated to me that an identically-named sequel might be just a remake in order to regain some favor with the fans. Nope, it's just another terrible Wolverine side story with nothing behind it except a lot of dudes in suits who want your money. —S

(Here’s my review where I say basically the same thing using far too many words. —R)

Why you should see this movie: Bone claws.
Why you shouldn't: It's missing some filmic elements that you might find appealing, such as plot, character development, interesting fight scenes, and tension.
Bechdel Test: Fail. There are two "sisters" who briefly speak to each other, but it's about ol' grapevining Hugh or their grandfather or something.

Our Idiot Brother (2011)

Miranda, Natalie, and Liz all have the same problem—Paul Rudd is their adorable brother! He's overly trusting and sweet, and it lands him in some trouble with the law. So now he's bothering their lives with his happy-go-luckiness, and though they want to punch him a lot at first, his blunders help them better themselves. At one point they even appreciate that!

Elizabeth Banks is predictably good as the posh, ambitious Miranda and Zooey Deschanel didn't irk me too much as the insecure lesbian Nat. And, of course, Paul Rudd can do no wrong. Doesn't mean that this latest quirk-fest is entirely worth sitting through. And if you do, you're probably going to forget it existed within a couple of days. Unless you are really into faraway paintings of Zooey's sideboob. —S

Why you should see this movie: Everyone in it is a fine actor, and there are lots of really funny parts. Plus, if you have a multiple-sisters-and-one-brother dynamic in your family, there are some truths going on here.
Why you shouldn't: You've worked hard all week, and you want to watch a film that you'll truly take to heart.
Bechdel Test: It passes, but it was slipperier than you'd think. They mostly talk about the men in their lives, a list that includes their brother.

My Summer of Love (2004)

The Guardian has this list of 1,000 films to watch before you die. When I need something real to watch,¹ I open up this list on Letterboxd, filter it by what’s streaming on Netflix (currently 128 movies), and pick something at random. And that’s why Netflix now thinks I’m super interested in foreign teen lesbian coming-of-age films.

My Summer of Love captures what happens when two young women, drunk on that special kind of golden laziness found only on summer break (and also drunk on alcohol), have a romantic fling despite strong cultural/familial pressure to do otherwise.

The film features a couple of solid performances--some by Emily Blunt but most by Natalie Press, especially as it becomes clear that she has way more skin in the game. There’s believable family drama all the way around, and it’s set in an interesting English town where class issues are obviously a thing. It reminded me a lot of 2001’s Lost and Delirious, but with, like, more meat and less weird teen awkwardness. —R

Why you should see this movie: The filmmaker made a movie about two young women exploring a romantic relationship together and completely avoided making it a titillating sex piece.
Why you shouldn't: My Summer of Love has some things to say about religion, specifically charismatic Christians. If you’re sensitive to that, you may want to skip.
Bechdel Test: Yes! There are men in this film and while the two main characters talk about them, they also have a trillion conversations about other things. You know, as human females do.

Jackie Brown (1997)

In Jackie Brown, Quentin Tarantino directs a classic caper film starring (almost) all currently known famous people: Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster, Bridget Fonda, Michael Keaton, and Robert De Niro. Say what!?

JB, Tarantino’s next film in the director’s chair after 1994’s Pulp Fiction, is a lot better than I thought it was when it came out in 1997. Following Pulp Fiction, he’d written Natural Born Killers and From Dusk till Dawn—films with substantially more violence and blood than Jackie Brown. I think, at the time, I was just underwhelmed (and young / stupid).

But guys, Jackie Brown is great! A movie chocked full with amazing actors directed by a genius director simply could not be otherwise! —R

Why you should see this movie: It’s a fantastic movie directed by a fantastically talented man that’s streaming on Netflix.² There’s literally no reason not to watch it tonight.
Why you shouldn't: Your power’s out.
Bechdel Test: No. The two female characters (played by Pam Grier and Bridget Fonda) don’t have a ton of screen time together, and most of it is spent talking about Samuel L. Jackson.

— ∮∮∮ —

Footnotes

Unlike another episode of Under the Dome. ↩
So are Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, and Four Rooms. ↩

Week of movies! American Hustle, Sharknado, and The Conjuring

Susan Howson — Fri, 27 Dec 2013 14:34:26 +0000

— ∮∮∮ —

American Hustle (2013)

Now showing!

Director David O. Russell is on a mission to convince us that Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence are today's geniuses of comic timing. Last year's Silver Linings Playbook was excellent, but his 2013 offering is just frigging riveting. This film, about some grifters teaming up with the FBI to tackle their vague idea of corruption, is not technically a comedy. But its funny parts are SO funny that it makes me want to just be like, "You know what, we don't really need to just shove everything into a genre."

Anyway, think The Departed with the funny parts (you remember them, they starred Alec Baldwin) extended and intensified. Plus incredibly good performances, which Russell seems to inspire perfectly. --S

Why you should see this movie: You want to see the Best Picture winner, because, guys, this may very well be it.
Why you shouldn't: You love bras, and you think everyone should wear one all the time. Pssh, welcome to 1978. There are no bras here, loser.
Bechdel Test: There are two main women in this film, and their only conversation (while INCREDIBLE) is about their mutual friend, Christian Bale. There's a very brief convo between two females about nail polish, but I'm not sure I want to give this movie a pass based on that.

Sharknado (2013)

Sharknado is what would happen if someone gave me $250,000 to drink 100 beers and then write a movie script. Honestly, it’s far better than anything I could ever come up with on such a limited budget: it’s got some CG shots of sharks fighting a helicopter and stars both Tara Reid and Ian Ziering.

Yeah it’s about sharks that are picked up by a tornado and distributed across Los Angeles, and yeah the acting/writing/effects are pretty terrible, and yeah they use a ton of stock (and cheap/free) nature footage.¹ But it kept my attention, got a couple of real laughs, and really impressed me with what they accomplished given a pretty stringent set of constraints. —R

Why you should see this movie: You’re interested in how to make a movie everyone in America knows about for only $250,000.
Why you shouldn't: You’re afraid of sharks and/or Tara Reid.
Bechdel Test: Not unless some of the sharks were female sharks and you consider devouring someone as a conversation.

Dead Man (1995)

In this black-and-white thinkpiece by Jim Jarmusch, Johnny Depp MAY BE at his very hottest. It's a crazy thing to think about, and if it were in full color, you might need to wear special Depp-glasses in order to preserve your retinas from his blinding beauty.

But I digress. This film is about letting your past die and accepting what lies ahead. It's beautiful and mystical, but also funny in a Jarmuschian way (think Crispin Glover covered in soot and some jokes about Cleveland). Plus Gabriel Byrne! And Iggy Pop! --S

Why you should see this movie: You take a lot of pleasure in watching a film that is good for you, but doesn't punish you.
Why you shouldn't: You prefer explosions and a plot that moves at a rapid pace. This film will not deliver.
Bechdel Test: There are two women in this film, and both of their purposes are to be a receptacle during intercourse. One of them gets killed for it. Not sure this could fail any worse.

The Conjuring (2013)

The Conjuring is another haunted-house tale out of the lives of real-life paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren—who have terrified residents of old homes since the original Amityville Horror in 1979. As with any century-old house, there’s bound to be some unpleasant history if you look hard enough, and for this particular house in Rhode Island that unpleasant history involves witches, murders, suicides, and other terrible things that like to possess adorable children. The Warrens are called in to investigate, and things go to hell.

Guys, I’m filled with hope for modern horror films! There was a time, a dark time, where you couldn’t catch a horror flick without sitting through two hours of realistic human torture. But now! Movies like The Conjuring (and House of the Devil!!) are wonderful things, and this one strikes a great balance between anticipation, reveal, and climax. —R

Why you should see this movie: As haunted house movies go, this one is great.
Why you shouldn't: Your house was built in 1928 and you’re home alone for the evening.
Bechdel Test: Yeah man, assuming demons are genderless—which I feel like is an OK assumption.

— ∮∮∮ —

Footnotes

Brilliant if you ask me. ↩

Week of movies! The Desolation of Smaug, White Christmas, and Dances with Wolves

Ross Catrow — Wed, 18 Dec 2013 13:02:28 +0000

Why limit film reviews to just one a week? And why use a bunch of dang words? Can’t we give you the goods in one or two paragraphs? Now, with our powers combined (that's Susan Howson and Ross Catrow), you can hear about a film currently in theaters, some Netflix streamers, and even an occasional DVD. More bang for your buck! And you don’t even have to provide any bucks!

— ∮∮∮ —

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

Now showing!

Peter Jackson returns with The Desolation of Smaug,¹ part two of his The Hobbit trilogy. Smaug picks up where the previous one (An Unexpected Journey) left off and joins our merry band of dwarves, hobbit, and wizard as they adventure about, attempting to reclaim their dwarven home of old from the terrible dragon Smaug.

I’ll be honest with you guys, I liked this one pretty OK! Peter Jackson’s style—which is a very pronounced style—fits way better with the quirky, more adorable Hobbit material than it did with the serious biz of Lord of the Rings. Smaug hits a nice balance of romance,² jokes, adventure time, and terrifying dragons—it’s enough to keep you satisfied without forcing you to ever think too hard about what’s going on. Kate from Lost (Evangeline Lilly) and Orlando Bloom star in just about the best ranged-weapon battle scene I’ve ever witnessed, and Smaug is an incredible collection of pixels.

And please, please, please go see this in HFR 3D. Yes it looks weird, and yes it takes a while to get used to, but it’s clearly the director’s intent. Plus, I’m still convinced that HFR is The Future, and our progeny will look at regular-frame-rate films and wonder how we lived with such blurry movies. —R

Why you should see this movie: It’s a sight to behold. I’m not kidding, I’ve never seen anything like that dragon before.
Why you should stay home: You read the book, loved it, and have a general distrust of Peter Jackson.
Bechdel Test: The only female cast member is Kate from Lost, and she’s exclusively concerned with slaying orcs and loving boys.

White Christmas (1954)

For whatever reason, this holiday classic missed our house when I was growing up, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense, considering that the only movies we owned on VHS were Gigi, Oklahoma!, and Camelot. Tired of everyone around me going "Snow! Snow! Snow! Snow!", I finally watched the dang thing a few years ago, and reveled in the wonder that is Danny Kaye cutting a rug with Vera-Ellen. "Sisters" is a classic, as is "Blue Skies" and of course, the title track, but when it comes down to it, White Christmas is kind of a sentimental piece of fluff. Think of it as the Love, Actually of the 1950s. Only not an enormous travesty. —S

Why you should see this movie: Because everyone is always talking about it at this time of year. Plus, it is pretty and fun without being too stupid.
Why you should stay home: There's a really awkward part about a minstrel show that should (and could) really be cut out of the movie entirely. Also, there are better movies.
Bechdel Test: You'd think it would, as the two sisters (Vera-Ellen and Rosemary Clooney) do have a lot of chats. They're all about men, though, so no dice.

56 Up (2012)

If you don't know about the Up Series, now is your chance to move your brain, your body, and your very soul over to the other side (…where people know about the Up Series). Here's the gist: a filmmaker in the 1960s rounded up a group of British kids "from all walks of life" and talked to them about what they wanted to be when they grew up, how they felt about people of different races, how they liked school, that kind of thing. These same kids get interviewed every seven years about largely the same topics, and we see how their minds have changed. Spoiler alert: nobody likes it when you hold them to weird racist crap they said when they were in first grade. The entire thing is streaming on Netflix, and you've really gotta watch it from the very beginning to appreciate it. If only because they play the same clips from them year after year, so that by the end of the series, you have a bunch of hilarious jokes with whomever lives in your house ("Turn round now, Tony, turn round." "I read the Observer AND the Times." "WOT'S UNIVERSITY?")

In the latest installment, everyone is annoyed with the series for basically ruining their lives. It's delicious. My favorite character, Tony, still takes the cake, weeping about how much he loves his grandkids and building pools everywhere. —S

Why you should see this movie: It's fascinating how the things your younger self says do not necessarily define you. Good to know, because I'm pretty sure I said things like, "I sure am never going to sit inside and watch an entire documentary series about random strangers in London."
Why you should stay home: It gets a little repetitive, but the non-repetitive parts are utterly fascinating. You may not leave the experience feeling great about marriage, either, because a good half of them are on their second or third spouses.
Bechdel Test: There are three women who talk to each other regularly, and it's never about men at all. Excellent job, Great Britain!

Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)

I'd have already forgotten Colin Trevorrow's little film about letting go of your past if it weren't for the solid performances by three of my favorite sitcom actors. And when somebody puts April Ludgate, Brendan Deslaurier, and Nick Miller (the second most adorable actor while Josh Hutcherson lives) in a movie, you'd have to be an idiot not to pay attention. This film is Indie Movie: The Indie Movie from start to about 60 seconds from the finish—dry humor, quirky characters, self-discovery, disappointment, geeks bonding—it's all there. Aubrey Plaza's character pretends to go along with a mildly crazy guy's scheme to time travel, just so she and her boss (Jake Johnson) can write a thing about it for their magazine. The crazy guy (Mark Duplass) is humorous yet full of pathos, and he's impossible not to like. Plaza plays herself, but she's impossible not to like. And Johnson, well, if you don't like him I don't know how to help you. It's like Safety Not Guaranteed is pushing you—willing you—to give up your eye-rolling and embrace this dream team. —S

Why you should see this movie: You're a fan of Parks and Recreation, The Mindy Project, or New Girl. And if that's the case, then we should probably hang out very soon.
Why you should stay home: Garden State infuriated you. I fit both of these categories, so was largely unimpressed yet entertained in spite of myself.
Bechdel Test: Oh, another cameo from another of my favorite shows talks to Aubrey Plaza for a few minutes, but it's 100% about Duplass's character, so…

Dances with Wolves (1990)

This classic epic (or at least, epically long) film brings us back to a troubled time in America's history—a time when we kept clamoring for more and more Kevin Costner. "Star in films!" we said. "Direct them! Be Robin Hood, it'll turn out great!" Is it because an entire generation of stay-at-home moms were hoodwinked into believing that dullard was some sort of exciting, sexy creature? Judging from the amount of times his naked butt appeared in these films (too many to count, because the idea of counting them makes my stomach upset), that must have been the case. Anyway, he directed Dances with Wolves in an Oscar-winning way. It's a good movie, and it really set the tone for a lot of the sprawling, noble, machoism-reclaiming flicks of the 1990s—Braveheart, Saving Private Ryan, Gladiator, Rob Roy, Last of the Mohicans, etc. etc. etc.

THAT SAID, DwW is at times strikingly beautiful and heart-wrenching, with a consistent, solid plot. Twenty-three years later (yikes), it's easy to roll your eyes at some simplified white guilt things going on when Lieutenant Dunbar makes his dullard way into the hearts of the doomed Sioux nation. At the time, though, we probably hadn't given a whole lot of thought to exactly how damn wasteful we all were with those poor buffalo. --S

Why you should see this movie: The John Barry score will make your heart swell, supposing you have a heart to begin with. Also: Wind in his Hair!
Why you should stay home: You can't be bothered to give up three hours of your time, even for some glimpses of Costnerbutt.
Bechdel Test: I'm pretty sure two women glance at each other as they pass one another. Maybe in 1990 that was progress.

— ∮∮∮ —

Footnotes

Which I have a really hard time not writing as SMAUGHHHHH. ↩
Non-canonical. ↩

Week of movies! Dallas Buyer’s Club, Robin Hood, and His Girl Friday

Susan Howson — Wed, 11 Dec 2013 15:01:34 +0000

We've been doing movie reviews since the dawn of time, if time began when RVANews did. But it turns out, we have a secret life watching non-first-release movies at home, during the 40% of our lives that we're not in theaters. Between Ross and myself, we cover at least five a week.

You can see where this is going.

Why limit film reviews to just one a week? And why use all those dang words? Can't we give you the goods in one or two paragraphs? This way, you can hear about a film currently in theaters, some Netflix streamers, and even an occasional DVD. More bang for your buck! And you don't even have to provide any bucks!

— ∮∮∮ —

Dallas Buyer’s Club (2013)

Now showing!

At some point in the recent past, Matthew McConaughey grew tired of shirtlessly sailing boats around with Jennifer Aniston. Starting with Magic Mike (in which he was still shirtless), continuing through Mud (OK, OK shirtless in that one too), and now in Dallas Buyer’s Club, McConaughey has eschewed his alright alright alright-ness and become an incredible actor.

In DBC he plays a heterosexual man with AIDS who’s unwilling to let the FDA’s glacial pace in AIDS research dictate his chances of survival. So, with his transvestite business partner (wonderfully played by Jared Leto), he starts the Dallas Buyer’s Club: a club in which paying members receive monthly doses of some drugs that the FDA (and their Big Pharma buddy buds) have yet to approve. —R

Why you should see this movie: It’s a well told story with some incredible acting by McConaughey, Leto, and Jennifer Garnner.
Why you shouldn't: The thought of an unhealthily thin McConaughey definitely wearing a shirt terrifies you.
Bechdel Test: Ummmmm, it’s complicated. Maybe we can talk about it in the comments!

Antiviral (2012)

It’s the craaaazy (not too distant) future, and they love celebs even more than we do in the boring ol’ present! They love them so much, in fact, that an entire industry has sprung up around the trade of diseases that once infected your favorite celebrity (like...Jared Leto). So for a hefty price, you can go to a high-end clinic and get your mouth injected with hepatitis cultured from that which was once inside of your beloved famous person (Jared Leto).

Directed by David Cronenberg’s son Brandon Cronenberg, everything about this movie made me want to barf—but kind of in a good way. Cronenberg takes the concept of internalizing a piece of an idol to weird, literal, unexpected places and then he makes you hang out in those places for a good long while. —R

Why you should see this movie: You liked Idiocracy and feel kind of dead on the inside.
Why you shouldn't: You love life and would prefer to keep it that way.
Bechdel Test: There are two female characters in the film, and one’s just a sack of meat (maaaaaybe literally). So, no.

His Girl Friday (1940)

If you think you love Cary Grant, just wait until you see Rosalind Russell absolutely dominate the screen in this film about the newspaper biz. She plays an insanely talented and driven journalist who wants to give up the fast-paced, male-dominated news industry to find some time for herself. The thing is, she absolutely loves her job. Could there be anything more relatable?

As with a lot of great movies from the era, the writing in His Girl Friday is witty, biting, and as fast as a speeding bullet. Set the iPad down and pay attention, you’re in for a boatful of great dialogue. —R

Why you should see this movie: Because it’s a hilarious classic about a person in a super relatable situation.
Why you shouldn't: I…really couldn’t say. Maybe you’re a bad person?
Bechdel Test: No! But! It’s a film about a woman in a strictly male industry that, until the final 90 seconds, steers clear of any machismo bullshit. And hold the phone, this movie was made in 1940!¹

Robin Hood (1973)

New to the world of Netflix streaming but old to the world of my heart, Disney's Robin Hood (1973) is full of humor, sadness, poverty, and thumb-sucking. Also, some characters get drunk, which is the hallmark of a good kids' flick. When I was a child, this film was 100% wonderful, and I remember feeling intense sympathy for those poor debtors in Nottingham as that rooster sang "Every town has its ups and downs / And sometimes ups outnumber the downs / But not in Nottingham." I mean, JEEZ, Disney. Bleak! But it all works out well, due to some great disguises, some zip-lining, some fire, and of course, true love.

It's good for adults as well: prissy lion Prince John, voiced by Peter Ustinov², has zero unfunny lines, and Roger Miller (Allan-A-Dale, aka the Rooster) has zero unbeautiful songs. Oh, and a snake has fur, kind of?? —S

Why you should see this movie: You're not convinced that quality Disney existed during the dark years between Sleeping Beauty and The Little Mermaid.
Why you shouldn't: You just read "The Little Mermaid" and dry-heaved. Although honestly, you'd probably still like Robin Hood.
Bechdel Test: Not in the least. Maid Marian pretty much just moons over Robin (although he is quite a fox, so who can blame her).

Knight and Day (2010)