Kickers vs Montreal and the ongoing saga known as the Kickers Prediction Game of Awesome

Prior to every home game a panel of so-called experts will predict the outcome of the Richmond Kickers game. Each expert receives one point for each correct prediction. At the end of the season the winner gets a trophy and pack of gum.

June 12, 2015; 12:04 PM • by Richard Hayes

The Richmond Kickers (6-2-5) will be playing FC Montreal (1-8-1)this Saturday at 7:00 PM. The two met earlier this year in Montreal which resulted in a 1-0 win for the Kickers.

A common term in sports is a “trap game,” meaning that one team takes victory so much for granted that they end up losing. If you look at the two team’s records, this a classic “trap game.” At this point a less dignified news outlet might post a picture like this:

But not us, we have our standards.

FC Montreal comes in with one win and one tie over ten games. In theory they should be getting players from their MLS team the Montreal Impact. These players should be on the cusp on MLS greatness but that doesn’t seem to be the case up north.

Kickers managed to squeak out a tie against the Charleston Battery on Wednesday. Samuel Asante was the team savior and tied it up right before the half with a great run from midfield after Jason Yeisley jumped on a poor Battery throw in. The team has played an amazing number of games so far, and it’s not letting up. They’ll face the Columbus Crew of MLS on Wednesday in the Open Cup. Fans will quickly be able to tell how seriously coach Cowlishaw is taking the Open Cup once they see his Saturday lineup. Until then, we won’t know which team will be coming out against FC Montreal, and that will determine how close this game will be.

Kickoff on Saturday is at 7:00 PM and you can buy your tickets here. The gates are opening up at 5:30 PM, revealing a bevy of food truck options for Food Truck night. Boom Boom Boca, Opa, Tikiz, Sticks Kebob Shop, Gregory’s Grill, Rita’s Water Ice, and Mister Softee will all be serving their fare from their respective vehicles.

Read the official game preview.

	Prediction	Reasoning	Score
RVANews Soccer Guru		I want to be a Negative Nellie simply so I can wear the official Negative Nellie dress, it’s truly stunning. Kickers are beat up, tired, and ripe for a loss. However, Montreal is currently and for the foreseeable future the worst team in USL. In fact, I’m pretty sure Montreal would lose if they faced Richmond’s U9 Sapphire Death Unicorns, and they’re missing their best striker, Billy, who received a nasty boo-boo on his noggin at a pool party.	5
Red Army		I believe it was the noted scholars from South Park who taught the world to “Blame Canada.” I choose to accept this advice. Why am I blaming Canada? Let me ask you, why AREN’T you blaming them? Kickers will punish them for their actions of being from the wrong place with a resounding win. Also, anything > Tim Horton’s	5
Richmond Kickers		Canada is a really cold place, even though the USWNT has been on fire up there for the World Cup. Going by that logic, the result of this game will be simple: Kickers win. I’m even going to make a bold prediction to say that someone new will score in this game. Mark my words.	6
Total Soccer Show		FC Montreal have never not lost a game away from home, and the Kickers will help them keep that record alive. Three-nil to the red team, with Samuel Asante causing panic in the Canadian midfield.	6

RVANews Soccer Guru (Richard Hayes): All of Richard’s soccer knowledge comes from playing FIFA on the original Playstation and standing in bars, drinking, and yelling at the television. He also helps run RVA DCU and is a member of American Outlaws Richmond Chapter, which mainly involves drinking and yelling at televisions.

Red Army (Matt Myers) — Reigning Champion: Matt was sent off by Leigh Cowlishaw in a summer camp scrimmage as a pre-teen but has not held that against the team. He’s coming to grips with being a relatively old man now after seeing the youngsters in the Red Army and on the Kickers roster. He’s also attended way more matches than he should admit to, especially for having lived in Richmond a total of one out of the last 13 years.

Richmond Kickers (Kickeroo): The Kicker from down under. He doesn’t really like anyone who isn’t a fan of the Kickers. A daredevil who will pretty much try anything and everything but would rather not talk (on advice from the lawyers) about the incident with the scooter and the Flaming Hoop of Death, he’s also a sensitive marsupial who enjoys long walks on a dew-covered soccer field and watching the sun set behind the goal post. He also shares something with the new Kickers beer, Kick It Hunny hops.

Total Soccer Show (Daryl Grove): Daryl is English, so everything he says about footsoccerball naturally carries more weight because he says it in a British accent. He is also part of the excellent local radio show and podcast Total Soccer Show that keeps track of all soccer related things in an intelligent and fun way. If you’re not listening to the Total Soccer Show, you need to change that posthaste.

June 12, 2015 12:04 PM · in Fan of the Fan, Hills and Heights, and more 0