The Bopst Show: “Crab’s Eye” (Episode 53)
May 4, 2009
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Title: The Bopst Show: “Crab’s Eye” (Episode 53)
Rating: X (Strong Language, Adult Situations, Sexual Content)
Intent: To elevate profanity to a cherished family value
Quality Diversion: “Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of speech”.
Suggested Absurd News Story Reading by Geographical Region: New York, New York
Request Line: (804) 767-2550
Construction Dates: Wednesday- Thursday, April 29-30 2009
Equipment: Mac G4, Free Audio Editor & Recorder Software from Audacity, Frontier US-122 USB Audio/MIDI Interface, Shure SM57 Microphone
Posted: Monday May 4th, 2009
Artists and Groups in order of appearance: Frank Zappa, Pat Robertson & Jerry Falwell, Chris Bopst, Four Tet, Peter Tosh, The Undertones, KGNU Phone Message, Pan Am Singers, Benny Goodman & Milt Jackson, Helen Gurley, Gladys Knight & The Pips, Robyn Archer, Unknown, Heino, Wendy Ho, The Shit, Fela Kuti & The Africa 70, Robert Lopez & Jeff Marx, Bea Arthur, Frank Zappa
Mixed by: Chris Bopst
Art: Chris Bopst
Liner Notes:
I love the word, “fuck”. It is the only word I know of that is capable of expressing a myriad of different emotions with pinpoint accuracy. Happiness, anger, sadness, frustration, adulation, exasperation, astonishment, excitement, contempt, praise, joy and just about anything else a human being feels can be summed up by using it.
I’m sure other words are jealous of, “fuck” and I don’t blame them. Considering its multipurpose functionality, it would be hard not be envious of its universal appeal. Can you think of another word in the English language that has as many practical uses as the word, “fuck”? No, you can’t and neither can I. “Fuck“ can be used as a noun, pronoun, verb, adverb, transitive verb and as an adjective. It is a word born of majestic royalty. This base vernacular for fornication is a word so well suited to handle any and all occasions that it is within the realm of possibility that the word itself was not created by mere mortals, but by someone or something not of this world. In other words, “fuck” may be the only word that proves the existence of God.
I know this is not how most people feel about this vocal utterance. Most consider the word to be the epitome of vulgarity and those that use it to be of diminished value. Well, that ‘s just fucking stupid in my book. Using the word, “fuck” conveys a person of character, a person unencumbered by the pettiness of the herd that understands that truthfully conveying one’s thoughts or emotions can’t and will not be limited by other people’s antiquated notions of decency. Those who strive to eradicate the word’s existence or preach of its supposed immorality are the very people whose actions are far more reprehensible than any use of vowels and constantans.
People who oppose the use of profanities are usually the worst profanities of them all.
In a 5-to-4 decision announced last Tuesday, the Supreme Court ruled that the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) did not abuse its discretion in a 2004 crackdown on indecent language on prime time TV. The majority said the FCC did not act arbitrarily or capriciously when it announced that broadcasters might be held liable for the occasional use of a single indecent word on public airwaves. “Today’s ruling by the Supreme Court is an incredible victory for families,” said Tim Winter, president of the Parents Television Council, in a statement. “We must put the well-being of children first and allow certain hours of the broadcast day to be a safe haven for families.”
Ah yes, the well-being of children. There is nothing more telling of an individual or group’s misguided priorities than when the justification for their actions is the protection of children. The Parents Television Council, an organization that’s stated purpose is, “to promote and restore responsibility and decency to the entertainment industry in answer to America’s demand for positive, family-oriented television programming”, catalogs offensive programming for parents too dim-witted to realize that episodes of, “Family Guy” or, “House” may not be suitable for family viewing. Not surprisingly, they find the lewd and lascivious everywhere.
Forget for a moment that this ruling is at direct odds with your First Amendment right to freedom of speech, the bigger issue here is why the broadcast transmission of profane language is even an issue at all? If a child is exposed to profanity, what is the worst that will happen? Little Johnny tells his Mom to fuck off? Jane tells her Dad that his teachers are full of shit? Oh, the humanity. As a parent, I find this ruling especially offensive because the responsibility of raising my child is no one’s except my own. If I don’t want my child to watch TV, I simply turn the fucker off. It’s that easy. Also as a parent, I have no delusion that being someone’s father gives me the right to curb other people’s freedom of expression. Parenthood does strange things to people. Once the bloody larva is squeezed out of the vagina and screams the first breath of life, some people actually come to believe that they are better than their non-child bearing counterparts. I’ve seen this delusion first hand and it is ugly. While I must admit that just looking at my child fills me with a joy that can’t be accurately expressed with mere words (except maybe, my kid is fucking awesome), having a child has not changed my belief that I am just another asshole who spawned. I am no more important than anyone else. This is something people on the The Parents Television Council have yet to learn.
And this leads to the theme of this week’s show. It is profane as a motherfucker. Needless to say, but you should refrain from clicking play or downloading this podcast if you take offense to colorful language, strong sexual content or adult situations. Exposure to this show will prove to be profoundly upsetting.
I am fascinated by what offends people. What really fascinates me is what people don’t find to be offensive and should.
Cases in point: Jerry Falwell & Pat Robertson.
To me, they represent true moral decadence far more offensive than any amount of vocalized vulgarities. On the recording heard at the beginning this podcast, Pat & Jerry conclude that the horrific events of 9/11 was caused by homosexuals, the NAACP, feminists, abortionists and anyone who strived to secularize America. In the immediate aftermath of that tragedy, they didn’t try to offer solace to a wounded nation; they used that moment to voice a contemptuous hate of individuals and organizations that had nothing to do with the terrorist attack. Of all the emotions to express that day, they decided to go there. Jesus must be so proud…
As abhorrent as I find these two assholes, I would not dream of denying them the right to say such things. While I know with every fiber of my being that the world be better off without these holy rolling, imaginary friend pushers polluting the airwaves with hate, I believe in the freedom of speech even when it offends me. And that’s what makes America great; we can say whatever we want without fear of retribution no matter how repulsive some may find it to be.
Well, that’s the way it should fucking be anyway.
The set list for this week’s show is posted here. All previous show set lists (52 as of this writing) are on my blog.
Until Next Time:
Stay Clean,
BOPST
Previous Episodes
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52
10 Responses to “The Bopst Show: “Crab’s Eye” (Episode 53)”
1. OldCrazyCatLady says:
As much as I’ve always believed that the word “Fuck” is vastly overused nowadays, and was always taught that the use of profanity simply implied a ignorance of the language, I’ve been questioning that belief over the past week.
I’ve always prided myself on my vocabulary, but I’ve realized that sometimes, there really is *no* equal substitute for the exclamation “WHAT THE FUCK!?” The picture of the crab’s eye, above, reminded me of an example of that.
One childhood memory that always makes me smile is from a trip we’d made to Sandy Point in Maryland. While running around causing general havoc, I noticed a small black child, squatting at the edge of a very large puddle, with something in his hand.
When I got closer, I saw that he was holding a live crab, upside down, and dipping the crab, over and over, into the puddle, while he kept chanting: “Put yo eyebaaaaaaaalls in the waaaaaater, put yo eyebaaaaaaalls in the waaaaater.”
To me, there is no other expression that adequately explains how I felt when I saw it, other than “WHAT THE FUCK!?”
on May 4th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
2. stu says:
I don’t remember if I heard this or read it somewhere, but a statement about a broken piece of machinery went something like this.
That fucking fucker is fucking well fucked.
Which just about says it all.
on May 4th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
3. Valerie Catrow says:
Oh man, I can’t stop laughing at “Put yo eyebaaaaaaaalls in the waaaaaater, put yo eyebaaaaaaalls in the waaaaater.”
on May 5th, 2009 at 10:01 am
4. bopst says:
Yeah, Stu, I think you heard that bit here:
http://rvanews.com/2008/07/the-bopst-show-episode-14/
And that story about the crab makes me feel funny…
on May 5th, 2009 at 10:07 am
5. Liberty says:
Did you write this essay in high school? There have been some recent developments in the church of liberalism’s canon on free speech. Your church elders Obuma, Pisslosi, and Barney Frankfurter may excommunicate you because of your heretical views. Are you not aware of their edict- thou shalt not hate speech. You support hate speech dont you. Congradulations on making it into the dictionary under the definition of dumb fuck.
on May 5th, 2009 at 11:17 am
6. bopst says:
Somebody needs a juicebox…
on May 5th, 2009 at 11:31 am
7. Mark says:
I can’t get this episode to play on my iTunes.. any suggestions?
on May 7th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
8. bopst says:
should be fixed now. Ross had to beat itunes into submission…
on May 8th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
9. Richard D says:
My father in law, a law professor, received a T-shirt from his students one time, that said “Read the fucking rule”. This was a line he was often heard blurting out during lecture. The students not only appreciated his inflection, but the ones that got the point, passed; the rest usually failed. They are just words my friends. No different than eating watermelon in your hands instead of with a fork. A fork works, but biting right in is a lot more fun. Sometimes you just got to use what works best.
on May 8th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
10. bopst says:
fuckin’ a….
on May 8th, 2009 at 5:08 pm