I have something speaking directly to the people who don’t understand the difference between spanking a child and a teen, and those who don’t think it does any good, or is unnecessary, or that it’s brutality.

And I totally agree that each kid is different, comes with no manual, you can’t listen to your parents, or the advice on the ‘net or in a book, you have gotta figure it out on your own.

My opinion, from experience, with my little ninjas, is that spanking was ONLY appropriate, or served any purpose whatsoever, when they were about 2-5ish. You can tell, if you have experience with kids, this is the age where parts of their minds that you can reason with and explain consequences to simply aren’t fully formed. They have the attention span of a goldfish. And they are on a quest to be the ruling power over all that they survey. Time out is a joke to these creatures. I found that it was absolutely critical to be in control of my little maniacs when it was needed, and there were plenty of times when they needed to listen immediately so as to not be in danger. I’ve spanked them. Rarely, and with a ton of warning. “Do you need a spanking?” has been more than enough to get their attention for years, and even the question is generally unnecessary now. They know I’m not going to spank them, I haven’t done that for a long time. But also, they know when I am serious and that when I take a stand, it is not up for debate. I’m sorry but I really have a problem with people whose kids are complete monsters in public and private, who have never been taken under control of any kind even to teach them that you must actually THINK about what other humans around you may need, like a lack of shrill screaming, or not having a kid under their feet. My boys are considerate, they are still total individuals with tons of creativity and character. They respect me, but they do not fear me. Spanking had its place in that, but they have outgrown the need for that kind of discipline at this point. It’s not a question of it being wrong because of their age, it is wrong because it’s no longer an effective means of parenting them.

Gotta say I know too many people who parent “the way they were raised” or based on things people tell them. I think the best answer is to know your kid. If you pay attention, and are super-patient, you’ll figure out what they need.

We went to WalMart today, and no one got hurt. Need I say more?

Spanking and then having a tickle party is just sick. There is no “correct way to do it” in scripture. Howver, there is a severe warning for those who cause “these little ones” to stumble.

Scott and I do spank our 3 year old. We also use time outs and take privileges away. We spank her when she has been completely defiant and blatantly disobedient to our request. We never hit her with our hands (we have a “spanking” tool) and never hit her while we are angry. That’s one reason we use a tool (kitchen spatula) because it takes us a few seconds to go and get it and we can cool off. I spank once or twice and then 99% of the time I hold her right after. I love on her and we BRIEFLY chat about the incident and life goes on with kisses and smiles. She gets disciplined but in LOVE not anger. No one hits in love — you hit because you’re angry. But you discipline your children out of love. It’s because you LOVE them so much that you want them to act a certain way. I heard one parent say, “I never leave the room after I’ve spanked my kids until we’ve had a tickle party. And everyone comes out laughing!” Most people think spanking is ABUSE or SO HORRIBLE but if done correctly it’s a tool for discipline but as Lisa said…it’s not the only thing.

“Spare the rod…spoil the child…” (quoting the title of this article) The bible NEVER commanded spanking but offers it as tool for parents.

We have laws against domestic abuse. I will go out on a limb and make the assumption that most people believe that ADULTS hitting each other is wrong. (I could be mistaken in this assumption.) But why, then, is it “different” and therefore “okay” to hit a child?

Spanking worked for me. My brother more often got 2 tablespoons of vinegar.

Seriously, my kid isn’t walking yet and I can already see why parents get so frustrated that they lose control and that’s my biggest concern. How often is the spanking a way for the parent to release their anger? What is really being conveyed besides rage? When “punishment” is emotionally charged, all the kid sees/feels is aggression. Get an inanimate punching bag for that shit, or a therapist, or find an adoption agency. Might does not make right. Children are sponges for the examples you set. I haven’t hit people in my life, and it’s probably not a coincidence that I didn’t get hit by my parents to begin with. That said, maybe I need to cut down on the father/son UFC watching, since he’s only 14 months old.

A belated, Happy Father’s Day to those who qualify.

My wife and I both were spanked when we were younger and I can’t say that we were fearful or shameful but I do know that we knew THIS was a consequence to our actions and there were very few knee jerk reactions if any. However I can’t say I understood why I couldn’t do this or couldn’t do that. I am stubborn so it’s possible I just ignored them all the time.

With that being said, my wife and I try hard at making sure they understand the reason behind a punishment (and by punishment I mean spanking, timeout, just a warning, or no Clifford, etc) because its important for them understand their actions are not appropriate, why they aren’t appropriate, and there are consequences to their actions. ESPECIALLY if they do it, over and over and over and over again just “because”. :)