5 Things

Y’all, Christmas is over. Just accept it and move on…to another super fun holiday! Life is great (as long as you aren’t thinking about the grey wasteland up ahead that is January)!

5

Y’all, Christmas is over. Just accept it and move on…to another super fun holiday! Life is great (as long as you aren’t thinking about the grey wasteland up ahead that is January)!

1. Fruitcake Science

I guess fruitcake hatred began before my time, because I don’t remember ever getting one from anyone ever. Maybe this means it became gauche in the 1970s or maybe my family just didn’t have any friends (something I always suspected–we never had snack food for guests, and we rarely used A/C). At any rate, I’ve been eagerly awaiting writing this week’s 5 Things because of the Fruitcake Science activity at the Science Museum of Virginia. If you have kids who are out on break and desperately need something to pull their minds out of that whiny post-Christmas I-don’t-want-to-write-thank-you-notes, my-sister-drank-all-the-wassail state, herd them over to the Science Museum and put fruitcake to the ULTIMATE TEST. (Btw, ultimate tests involve liquid nitrogen. Yessssss.)

  • Thurs. Dec. 27 – Sun. Dec. 30 • See site for times
  • Science Museum of Virginia, 2500 W. Broad St.
  • Free with exhibit admission

2. Holiday Glitter: Monument Avenue After Dark

Holiday Glitter: Monument Avenue After Dark is a classic. It stars Audrey Hepburn as a blind woman trapped in her apartment with Alan Arkin, who is very bad. As Hepburn comes closer to her would-be attacker, the tension becomes almost unbearable. Oh no, I’m confusing the Valentine History Center’s popular holiday glitterfest walking tour with the 1967 thriller Wait Until Dark again. OK, backtrack, this glamorous stroll is pretty much exactly the opposite of what I just said. You probably aren’t blind if you’re thinking about this tour, you’re almost certainly not being stalked by Alan Arkin, and you’ll never be Audrey Hepburn (sorry). Keep the holidays going as long as you possibly can by admiring the commitment Monument Avenue residents have to supporting Dominion Power during this special week.

  • Thurs. Dec. 26 – Fri. Dec. 27. • 6:00 – 7:30 PM
  • Lee Monument at Allen and Monument Avenues
  • $10 ($5 for members), reservations required

3. The Trillions, White Laces, Anousheh, and DJ Big Chair

Because I tend to just listen to Queen over and over, I sometimes have to ask my spouse about bands.1 The Trillions, it seems, are “very good” and “post-70s, kinda,” whereas White Laces are “psychey kinda shoegazey stuff” and “argh I don’t know, stop asking me these questions.” I’m starting to think his career as a music journalist will never get off the ground. Nevertheless, he is excited to attend this show, and, once you do a little iTunes research, you should be too.

  • Fri. Dec. 28 • 10:30 PM
  • Balliceaux, 203 N. Lombardy St.
  • $5

4. New Year’s Eve Bash at CMoR

Kids still haven’t caught on to our worldwide deception. They think we party all night on New Year’s Eve instead of attending the Parental Conference of Figuring Out Ways to Embarrass Children During Their Teen Years. Keep the dream alive by bringing them to the Children’s Museum’s New Year’s Eve Bash, where kids do all sorts of fun things until it’s time to count down to noon. So cute. And so likely to distract them from finding out the truth about the PCoFOWtEC.

  • Mon. Dec. 31 • 11:00 AM – 1:00 PM
  • All three CMoR locations
  • Included with admission

5. 2013 Party of Your Choice!

New Year’s Eve! The oddly stressful holiday that sneaks up on you every year and whispers that maybe you’re not cool enough to have something spectacular planned. Here’s a secret: staying in with a few friends and dancing around to LCD Soundsystem is totally legit. But in case you need to get out of the house, celebrate artistically with the 2nd Annual Drop the Ball @ Art Works, take to the streets for the Carytown New Year’s Eve, or get sassy with the No BS! Brass Band New Year’s Eve Bash at The Camel. But whatever you do, be safe and drive (or don’t drive) responsibly. It’s not a joking matter. Call a cab.

  • This Monday night
  • Around town
  • Prices vary but all require a large dose of pride to be left at the door

— ∮∮∮ —

Footnotes

  1. EXCEPTION! Anousheh has a lovely voice. I knew that firsthand! 

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Susan Howson

Susan Howson writes all sorts of things — from marketing content to movie reviews to this very bio.

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