Kickers vs Islanders and the Prediction Game of Awesome continues

Prior to every home game a panel of so-called experts will predict the outcome of the Richmond Kickers game. Each expert receives one point for each correct prediction. At the end of the season the winner gets a trophy and pack of gum.

July 31, 2015; 2:48 PM • by Richard Hayes

Saturday, the Richmond Kickers (7-4-8) are back in action and facing the Harrisburg City Islanders (7-6-4) at 7:00 PM. Kickers are coming off a gutting lose to New York Red Bulls 2 up in New Jersey. Despite scoring three goals, the defense somehow couldn’t prevent the Red Bulls from scoring four. This followed a loss at home to visiting Premiere League team West Bromwich Albion.

The Kickers are a tough team to figure out. The season starts out—Brian Ownby (4 goals) is on fire, and thoughts are that he’ll be wracking up the goals. Then suddenly George Davis (4 goals) and Delicate (6 goals) jump in with the goals. Now it’s Yeisley (5 goals) scoring two last week. Who their primary goal scorer is is anybody’s guess. One thing’s for sure that the cut-off line for playoffs is scarily close and crowded, and the Kickers need a win.

Harrisburg City Islanders are right on the edge of the playoff line but only four points behind the Kickers. Their offense threat comes from the midfield, Jason Plumhoff—with a total of five goals—and Ken Tribbett. The forwards with the least number of minutes, Jankouskas and Pettis, each have two goals and only 231 and 395 minutes respectively. While both the Kickers and Islanders have scored 28 goals this season, the Islanders have let eight more goals in the net and have played two less games.

Official game preview is here. Saturday is also the Kickers’ Craft Beer Fest, featuring over 20 craft beers and ciders available on tap. For $12 you can get a ticket, a beer, and a special Kickers cup. Buy these beery tickets here.

	Prediction	Reasoning	Score
RVANews Soccer Guru		The only consistent thing at City Stadium of late has been the horrible weather. That trend continues. In the second half, an earthquake will open up and unleash a wave of lava. Leigh Cowlishaw will dig a trench using the team bench as a shovel to divert the lava flow onto the Powhite. The scoreless game will continue until it begins to snow. Officials call the game in the 75th minute due to snow and a polar bear eating children in the bounce house, ending the game in another draw.	6
Red Army		It’s craft beer night, so let’s evaluate based on beer. Richmond: Hardywood, Stone, Legend, Ardent, Strangeways, etc. Harrisburg: Appalachian, Zeroday, Lancaster. I’ve never had any of those Harrisburg beers, so therefore Richmond wins and will win on the field as well. It’s science, you can’t argue with science.	6
Richmond Kickers		Oh, the City Islanders. What can I say? I still have not figured out their name, but in the end I guess it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that our guys get back to winning ways while there is lots of beer at City Stadium.	6
Total Soccer Show		Craft beer means crafty football from the Kickers, especially if we can persuade the Harrisburg players to sample a few adult beverages before kickoff. Two nil to the red team.	6

RVANews Soccer Guru (Richard Hayes): All of Richard’s soccer knowledge comes from playing FIFA on the original Playstation and standing in bars, drinking, and yelling at the television. He also helps run RVA DCU and is a member of American Outlaws Richmond Chapter, which mainly involves drinking and yelling at televisions.

Red Army (Matt Myers) — Reigning Champion: Matt was sent off by Leigh Cowlishaw in a summer camp scrimmage as a pre-teen but has not held that against the team. He’s coming to grips with being a relatively old man now after seeing the youngsters in the Red Army and on the Kickers roster. He’s also attended way more matches than he should admit to, especially for having lived in Richmond a total of one out of the last 13 years.

Richmond Kickers (Kickeroo): The Kicker from down under. He doesn’t really like anyone who isn’t a fan of the Kickers. A daredevil who will pretty much try anything and everything but would rather not talk (on advice from the lawyers) about the incident with the scooter and the Flaming Hoop of Death, he’s also a sensitive marsupial who enjoys long walks on a dew-covered soccer field and watching the sun set behind the goal post. He also shares something with the new Kickers beer, Kick It Hunny hops.

Total Soccer Show (Daryl Grove): Daryl is English, so everything he says about footsoccerball naturally carries more weight because he says it in a British accent. He is also part of the excellent local radio show and podcast Total Soccer Show that keeps track of all soccer related things in an intelligent and fun way. If you’re not listening to the Total Soccer Show, you need to change that posthaste.

July 31, 2015 2:48 PM 0